LGBT Parenting
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****Mommiesinoh *****
I know u said that you fig things out with the split
And you both signed papers did u have a 2nd parent adoption
Sorry fir asking so many questions and bad formatting im on ipod
And cant sleep at 423am so when you had Ky obviously u both
Decided on donor and such right? Just wondering how all that works
I just have a whole bumch of questions
Aside from all that how are you doing? How is ur fam dealing?
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Re: ****Mommiesinoh *****
We did not have a second parent adoption...OH is kind of odd and honestly it was never really a concern of ours. We used a KD with whom we had a contract. He has never been involved in Ky's life. I send him pictures every 6 months or so but that is it. So technically I am Ky's bio mom and since KD is no where on any of her paperowkr (half of her birth certificate is blanks since I could not list Ann there), I am the one with sole custody. We had agreed prior to even trying that should anything happen to us we would have a joint custody agreement. So when we split I wrote up a joint custody agreement that kind of models what is offered in our county when a couple gets divorced. it is a little more specific and more equal in time than a traditional arangement. We alternate Ky nightly and all of the holidays are spelled out. It even addresses health care costs, eductaion costs, and everything. We signed and had it notarized. I have no intention of keeping Ky from her dada even though in our state I could.
We are legally married in Canada which is not recognized here. We plan on pursuing a legal separation but for now we have drawn up paperpwork similar to a dissolution agreement indicating how joint property and finances are going to be handled. It outlines the eventual divorce but until we can figure out exactly how to handle an international divorce we are technically married. Again it was signed and notarized.
My family is great. My mom of course had her mama bear moment when Ann said something smart a** to me while I was getting my stuff but other than that it has been fine. I think my dad likes the idea of me being there to help my mom out. She may not realize it but he was overwhelemd with a majority of the hosuehold upkeep and working two jobs (he took the second so they could make double car and house payments so my mom could retire early for health reasons). Since I came I have cleared out clutter from Ky's playroom (now her bedroom), the guest room (now mine), and the kitchen. I kind of also unofficially took over cooking. My mom's cooking is fine but it is one less thing for her to worry about. She is not really old but with all of her health proiblems she likes to say she is a 50 year old with a 85 year olds body.
Ann's family has been polite. I emailed her mom and aunt to try and make arrangements for Christmas Eve so Ky can attend her Great Grandma's party. If they do not take her she will not get to go since Ann works and I would feel odd being there. Her aunt L still wants us to be able to hang out and go to lunch like always. She is tryign to remain neutral in all of this.
Ky is taking things alright I think. She is having problems when Ann drops her off at the sitter's in the AM. I have a feeling it has a lot to do with her not being used to Ann doing those kind of things and not being sure what is going on. I know she will eventually get used to it. I am also not sure how late she is going to bed at her house which worries me. My mom said this morning (I was already at work when she was dropped off) that she looked really tired and she was super wet and still in pjs so she had probably came straight from bed and it was like 830 in the AM and that kid never sleeps past 730...
As far as me. I am okay. I only ate half of a pint of B&J's last night so I count that as a win. I do better when I am busy. If I have Ky it is easy to stay busy. Last night I kept making thins for me to do just so I did not have time to sit and think. I am not sleeping really unless you count finally passing out after 2 AM, usually in front of the tv or with my tablet on netflix in bed. It is finally catching up with me sinc eI am up around 6:45 for work everyday...This weekend will be hard since I will not have Ky all day on Sunday and I have nothing to do.
That was a lot but I guess I needed to get it all out lol. Thanks for thinking of me!
seriously - you are amazing .... i would be a mess. WOW every other night that is so awesome that you did that and can work it out
Thanks for sharing !
our Blog -http://dosbabies.wordpress.com/
This.
I've been thinking about you guys all week it seems like. I must say, you're a much stronger person than I am. I wouldn't even know how to begin everything you've already accomplished if this was to happen to J and I. We always said that if something happens to us we'll always be civil for the sake of our child(ren) and would never live to far apart from each other so we can share custody much more than normal divorces allow.
I mean she says she is upset by it all but how she has been acting around me has been unemotional. Does that mean she is sleeping okay and not crying when she is alone...I have no idea. Usually she is the less emotional person but panics in tough situations. This is why I was the calmest person in the world and finshed packing my bag, took everything to the car, and got towels to sit on when my water broke while she ran around looking for pants. I tend to make the plans and put them in acton when things get tough but I cry easily. I will get the job done but when it comes down to the nitty gritty I get my feelings hurt easily. So while I had no problem typing up all of our agreements I sobbed while signing them. She just signed and kept a straight face. SO that really is not an answer because form what I ahve seen she is pretty detached but tha tis kind of her way when she doesn't want you to see her hurting. I am probably one of the few people that has actually seen her break down and cry.