Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: ****Mommiesinoh *****
We did not have a second parent adoption...OH is kind of odd and honestly it was never really a concern of ours. We used a KD with whom we had a contract. He has never been involved in Ky's life. I send him pictures every 6 months or so but that is it. So technically I am Ky's bio mom and since KD is no where on any of her paperowkr (half of her birth certificate is blanks since I could not list Ann there), I am the one with sole custody. We had agreed prior to even trying that should anything happen to us we would have a joint custody agreement. So when we split I wrote up a joint custody agreement that kind of models what is offered in our county when a couple gets divorced. it is a little more specific and more equal in time than a traditional arangement. We alternate Ky nightly and all of the holidays are spelled out. It even addresses health care costs, eductaion costs, and everything. We signed and had it notarized. I have no intention of keeping Ky from her dada even though in our state I could.
We are legally married in Canada which is not recognized here. We plan on pursuing a legal separation but for now we have drawn up paperpwork similar to a dissolution agreement indicating how joint property and finances are going to be handled. It outlines the eventual divorce but until we can figure out exactly how to handle an international divorce we are technically married. Again it was signed and notarized.
My family is great. My mom of course had her mama bear moment when Ann said something smart a** to me while I was getting my stuff but other than that it has been fine. I think my dad likes the idea of me being there to help my mom out. She may not realize it but he was overwhelemd with a majority of the hosuehold upkeep and working two jobs (he took the second so they could make double car and house payments so my mom could retire early for health reasons). Since I came I have cleared out clutter from Ky's playroom (now her bedroom), the guest room (now mine), and the kitchen. I kind of also unofficially took over cooking. My mom's cooking is fine but it is one less thing for her to worry about. She is not really old but with all of her health proiblems she likes to say she is a 50 year old with a 85 year olds body.
Ann's family has been polite. I emailed her mom and aunt to try and make arrangements for Christmas Eve so Ky can attend her Great Grandma's party. If they do not take her she will not get to go since Ann works and I would feel odd being there. Her aunt L still wants us to be able to hang out and go to lunch like always. She is tryign to remain neutral in all of this.
Ky is taking things alright I think. She is having problems when Ann drops her off at the sitter's in the AM. I have a feeling it has a lot to do with her not being used to Ann doing those kind of things and not being sure what is going on. I know she will eventually get used to it. I am also not sure how late she is going to bed at her house which worries me. My mom said this morning (I was already at work when she was dropped off) that she looked really tired and she was super wet and still in pjs so she had probably came straight from bed and it was like 830 in the AM and that kid never sleeps past 730...
As far as me. I am okay. I only ate half of a pint of B&J's last night so I count that as a win. I do better when I am busy. If I have Ky it is easy to stay busy. Last night I kept making thins for me to do just so I did not have time to sit and think. I am not sleeping really unless you count finally passing out after 2 AM, usually in front of the tv or with my tablet on netflix in bed. It is finally catching up with me sinc eI am up around 6:45 for work everyday...This weekend will be hard since I will not have Ky all day on Sunday and I have nothing to do.
That was a lot but I guess I needed to get it all out lol. Thanks for thinking of me!
seriously - you are amazing .... i would be a mess. WOW every other night that is so awesome that you did that and can work it out
Thanks for sharing !
our Blog -http://dosbabies.wordpress.com/
This.
I've been thinking about you guys all week it seems like. I must say, you're a much stronger person than I am. I wouldn't even know how to begin everything you've already accomplished if this was to happen to J and I. We always said that if something happens to us we'll always be civil for the sake of our child(ren) and would never live to far apart from each other so we can share custody much more than normal divorces allow.
I mean she says she is upset by it all but how she has been acting around me has been unemotional. Does that mean she is sleeping okay and not crying when she is alone...I have no idea. Usually she is the less emotional person but panics in tough situations. This is why I was the calmest person in the world and finshed packing my bag, took everything to the car, and got towels to sit on when my water broke while she ran around looking for pants. I tend to make the plans and put them in acton when things get tough but I cry easily. I will get the job done but when it comes down to the nitty gritty I get my feelings hurt easily. So while I had no problem typing up all of our agreements I sobbed while signing them. She just signed and kept a straight face. SO that really is not an answer because form what I ahve seen she is pretty detached but tha tis kind of her way when she doesn't want you to see her hurting. I am probably one of the few people that has actually seen her break down and cry.