am I creating a bad habit?

Jenny952 · July 2012

DD goes to bed just fine. She's tired and we have a good bedtime routine - jammies, book, nurse and swaddle. Most nights she's very drowsy and falls asleep right away. The problem is that every night she wakes up screaming after 30 minutes. If I pick her up and rock her for a minute, she'll fall back to sleep and will stay asleep until her middle-of-the-night feeding (usually around 3-4am). If I let her cry for a minute or just rub her tummy and shhh her, she'll fall back to sleep but will usually wake up again a few more times (usually 30 minute intervals).

So, am I creating a bad habit by picking her up and rocking her back to sleep? CIO is not for me, so I'm looking for other ways to soothe her. And what is the deal with the 30 minutes? Does anyone have any advice?

gina2433 · July 2012

I wouldn't think so but I'm with you when it comes to CIO. I don't like it all that much and or do it. Maybe you should sooth her while she's in the crib instead of picking her up? That's what I do.

sap05e · July 2012

How long has she been doing that? We went through about a week of that recently.. no clue what it was. She's not doing it anymore, thank god. I tried "sleep training" one night per pedi's recommendation (I actually took her in to make sure she didnt have an ear infection) and she would never stop screaming so I gave in and went back to picking her up and rocking.

You know your child better than anyone else so it is hard for me to tell you what you should do. Personally, I would continue to go and comfort/rock/pick up my LO. Seems like the easiest thing for both of you.

jb2rn · July 2012

I would do it, I don't see it as a "bad habit", unless it's all night long and disruptive to your sleep.

BUT, maybe I shouldn't be giving sleep advice..for the past month my son will go to sleep fine, and wake like your dd, but he does it all.night.long, unless he gets my boob in his mouth! uggggh

gracefulruby33 · July 2012

We did CIO when sleep training DD. I know that she knows how to fall asleep on her own and I know she isn't hungry when she wakes up (which isn't often). She has been waking up once in a blue moon a few hours after I put her down, when we go to sleep around 10 or so and once she woke up at 1am a few nights ago, which hasn't happened in a really long time. I know that she just wants me to hold her, so I have been picking her up and rocking her for a few minutes. I don't think that it is creating a bad habit by doing this. Frankly, I am happy to do it because she rarely wants me to hold her during the day because she'd rather be moving around! :-) I would just keep doing what you're doing and know that there's an end to the phase. GL!

valerieanne9015 · July 2012

DD did this for almost a month! I could have set my watch by her waking up 45 min after bed. The only thing that worked was holding her and she was instantly out. I don't think you're creating a bad habit, DD stopped waking up a couple weeks ago and is now a good sleeper until her first feeding. Hopefully, your DD will follow suit and stop waking up soon!

RedCamaro · July 2012

Depends on your definition of "bad habit". I wouldn't be bound by a time frame, but by age. If LO was older I would try not to continue this habit. If this is a new thing, I would keep doing what makes LO happy since it doesn't really interrupt your lifestyle much. DS did this same thing for 2-3 weeks and he just grew out of it one day. Like you, with it going on so long I was worried that he was starting to think this was part of his routine. I say if LO's happy, and you're happy, just ride it out.

smilelari · July 2012

At this age sleep changes constantly. A lot of it has to do with maturity. I wouldn't be surprised if the 30 minute wake up disappeared in a couple weeks without changing anything about what you're doing.

Does going in to soothe her back to sleep after 30 minutes bother you? If so, I would work to change it. If not I would leave it be.

Considering that you said "very drowsy" if you want to change it, the first thing I would try is a slightly earlier bed time (if you've read any of my posts on sleep, you know that I tend to suspect that the root of most sleep problems is an overtired baby and/or too late of a bed time). You might also experiment with some white noise or music (we have a fan running right outside DD's door and the noise from that seems to help).

I tend to do more rocking, cuddling etc than a lot of people are comfortable with at this age, but I would probably just keep holding her (asleep) until she hit that 30 minute mark and woke up and then put her down after she fell asleep again.

Jenny952 · July 2012

smilelari:

At this age sleep changes constantly. A lot of it has to do with maturity. I wouldn't be surprised if the 30 minute wake up disappeared in a couple weeks without changing anything about what you're doing.

Does going in to soothe her back to sleep after 30 minutes bother you? If so, I would work to change it. If not I would leave it be.

Considering that you said "very drowsy" if you want to change it, the first thing I would try is a slightly earlier bed time (if you've read any of my posts on sleep, you know that I tend to suspect that the root of most sleep problems is an overtired baby and/or too late of a bed time). You might also experiment with some white noise or music (we have a fan running right outside DD's door and the noise from that seems to help).

I tend to do more rocking, cuddling etc than a lot of people are comfortable with at this age, but I would probably just keep holding her (asleep) until she hit that 30 minute mark and woke up and then put her down after she fell asleep again.

No, going in after 30 minutes does not bother me. She goes to bed between 6:30-7 and I don't think an earlier bedtime would matter. She almost always wakes up at 30 minutes no matter what time she goes down. I'm more worried that going in, picking her up and rocking her is going to create a bad habit and that she won't learn to fall back asleep on her own. This is a pretty new thing, just within the last 2-3 weeks where she can't make it more than 30 minutes. If I pick her up, she'll go back down for the night. If I just ssh her and pat her tummy, she may wake up a few more times until settling in for the night.

smilelari · July 2012

Jenny952:
smilelari:

At this age sleep changes constantly. A lot of it has to do with maturity. I wouldn't be surprised if the 30 minute wake up disappeared in a couple weeks without changing anything about what you're doing.

Does going in to soothe her back to sleep after 30 minutes bother you? If so, I would work to change it. If not I would leave it be.

Considering that you said "very drowsy" if you want to change it, the first thing I would try is a slightly earlier bed time (if you've read any of my posts on sleep, you know that I tend to suspect that the root of most sleep problems is an overtired baby and/or too late of a bed time). You might also experiment with some white noise or music (we have a fan running right outside DD's door and the noise from that seems to help).

I tend to do more rocking, cuddling etc than a lot of people are comfortable with at this age, but I would probably just keep holding her (asleep) until she hit that 30 minute mark and woke up and then put her down after she fell asleep again.

No, going in after 30 minutes does not bother me. She goes to bed between 6:30-7 and I don't think an earlier bedtime would matter. She almost always wakes up at 30 minutes no matter what time she goes down. I'm more worried that going in, picking her up and rocking her is going to create a bad habit and that she won't learn to fall back asleep on her own. This is a pretty new thing, just within the last 2-3 weeks where she can't make it more than 30 minutes. If I pick her up, she'll go back down for the night. If I just ssh her and pat her tummy, she may wake up a few more times until settling in for the night.

I wouldn't worry about it. This all sounds very normal and like something she'll outgrow.

All I can offer is my own experience, but FWIW, I rocked my son to sleep every night for the first 14 months of his life and went to him and gave him a bottle every time he woke. At 2.5, we do bath, read him books, lay him down and walk away and he doesn't call out for us until about 6:15 in the morning. Based on what I've read, the vast majority of kids will eventually be able to fall asleep all by themselves even with these "bad habits", so unless it bothers you I wouldn't worry about it at all

Nwlywed07 · July 2012

DS used to do this too. In our experience we were putting him down too early. (Not enough time between the end of his last nap and bed time) Once we pushed back his bed time by about 30 minutes we haven't had anymore issues. We use that extra 30 minutes to unwind (all 3 of us) and just relax in our bed after we get our jammies on. He will then sleep until 3-4 am before waking up for a quick feeding.

RedCamaro · July 2012

Jenny952:
smilelari:

At this age sleep changes constantly. A lot of it has to do with maturity. I wouldn't be surprised if the 30 minute wake up disappeared in a couple weeks without changing anything about what you're doing.

Does going in to soothe her back to sleep after 30 minutes bother you? If so, I would work to change it. If not I would leave it be.

Considering that you said "very drowsy" if you want to change it, the first thing I would try is a slightly earlier bed time (if you've read any of my posts on sleep, you know that I tend to suspect that the root of most sleep problems is an overtired baby and/or too late of a bed time). You might also experiment with some white noise or music (we have a fan running right outside DD's door and the noise from that seems to help).

I tend to do more rocking, cuddling etc than a lot of people are comfortable with at this age, but I would probably just keep holding her (asleep) until she hit that 30 minute mark and woke up and then put her down after she fell asleep again.

No, going in after 30 minutes does not bother me. She goes to bed between 6:30-7 and I don't think an earlier bedtime would matter. She almost always wakes up at 30 minutes no matter what time she goes down. I'm more worried that going in, picking her up and rocking her is going to create a bad habit and that she won't learn to fall back asleep on her own. This is a pretty new thing, just within the last 2-3 weeks where she can't make it more than 30 minutes. If I pick her up, she'll go back down for the night. If I just ssh her and pat her tummy, she may wake up a few more times until settling in for the night.

I've done that too. It began as a mistake because I was reading while nursing, and stayed too long. But I found that worked.

OP, do you BF? If so, also try nursing both sides before putting LO down. Even if she's asleep, she still might take a few more ounces to get her past that 30 minute mark. (My LO would still wake up after 2 hours though.)

brighteyes2123 · July 2012

my LO does that too, it's like he thinks he is going down for a nap... not a nini! but usually he is fine until his feed, around the same time as your DD. right now I don't see it as a bad habit, I think they just need reassurance we're still there or something. not really sure, good luck to you!

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