Alone in the delivery room?

happy_un-bride · July 2012

I know this is still really early, but its something I have been thinknig (and mildly) worrying about... my DH will not be in the delivery room with me. I am ok with this, its the best for both of us, I'm sure. I do want him around the hospital.

But... should I have someone in the delivery room with me... I don't have anyone I really feel comfortable with to want in there with me; other than my mom, but I know my mom did not enjoy being in there for my sister's delivery of neice. Will I be alright being alone in the delivery room? I assume my DH and parents would be around to check on me before and after... Thoughts?

mentalmel · July 2012

why won't your H be in the room with you ??

sgb721 · July 2012

A friend or a cousin? Your going to want someone there with you.

00jennifer00 · July 2012

I labored by myself with #4, but I would have been really sad to not have him in the room with me when she was born. He just came in to catch her, so it was literally maybe 5 minutes. I don't think I'd have wanted to be alone with doctors and nurses for it. Maybe you'll luck out and get a really sweet nurse? Will he come in directly after?

5dogs · July 2012

Would hiring a doula be a possibility?

mentalmel · July 2012

5dogs:
Would hiring a doula be a possibility?

I was gonna say the same

magel050485 · July 2012

I was alone while laboring- my mom only came because I had a c-section and they wanted me to have someone in the OR with me. I prefered being alone over with my husband when I was pushing. I have a friend that will try to come down for the second child but if she doesn't make it I'm a-okay with doing it alone. I was really able to get into the zone and concentrate on what I needed to do.

SockMonkeySam · July 2012

I had my mom and DH in both my deliveries.. my mom was a huge support

watermellens · July 2012

Can I ask why DH won't be there?

I think you'll definitely want someone there. I'd hate to be going through it alone.

shandorfml2 · July 2012

I can't imagine going through it alone. I will have H and my Mom there

CloudBee · July 2012

I think spending money on a doula is a fantastic idea. You will form a relationship with them in advance, and they will be by your side.

I think they run a few hundred dollars? $300+?

00jennifer00 · July 2012

I've read also that if you can't afford a doula you might be able to get a doula in training for free.

happy_un-bride · July 2012

DH suffers anxiety in hospitals. He would most likely faint - he nearly did when we went to visit a friend of his. I don't want to worry about him, and he doesn't want to be there. So, it's fine.

Not interested in hiring a stranger, I'll keep thinking if I need someone, maybe just ask my mom to be around in case. I'm sure I'll be fine.

5dogs · July 2012

happy_un-bride:

DH suffers anxiety in hospitals. He would most likely faint - he nearly did when we went to visit a friend of his. I don't want to worry about him, and he doesn't want to be there. So, it's fine.

Not interested in hiring a stranger, I'll keep thinking if I need someone, maybe just ask my mom to be around in case. I'm sure I'll be fine.

A doula is more than just a stranger - they're a key support person. DH was there for nearly my entire hospital labor (22 hours) and I still wish I would have had someone who's sole job was to focus on helping me. DH was lost and didn't really know what was going on (also did not help he was passing a kidney stone at the same time!) and I would have killed to have someone else there to help me and be an advocate for my care especially since I wanted a med-free delivery.

https://www.dona.org/mothers/why_use_a_doula.php

jinnymb · July 2012

I would think especially for your first baby you would want someone there you know and trust. Just so many different scenarios can play out and you would want someone there to back you up and just for moral support.

Maybe a close friend or cousin? If your mom has been through it already, even if she didn't like it maybe she would be willing to do it again knowing DH won't be there.

aimeecasey · July 2012

mentalmel:
5dogs:
Would hiring a doula be a possibility?

I was gonna say the same

So was I. I would be so stressed being all alone. A doula would be a great advocate for you.

swelniak · July 2012

Maybe this is too obvious and you've already considered, but what about a home birth or a birth center? That way it wouldn't be a hospital.

Orange and Green · July 2012

My first husband was worthless in the delivery room both times. I didn't have meds and needed help focusing through the pain and relaxing. Hubby was nervous, worried for me, and forgot everything. He was more hindering than helpful. My new hubby, because of his training and field, SHOULD be able to be helpful but I still plan on having someone who's job it is to take care of me emotionally.

mentalmel · July 2012

swelniak:
Maybe this is too obvious and you've already considered, but what about a home birth or a birth center? That way it wouldn't be a hospital.

Good point

Want a personalized experience?

Alone in the delivery room?

Re: Alone in the delivery room?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards