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do I *have* to have a shower?

cco42cco42
in Baby Showers
One of my friends has offered to throw me a baby shower but I'm not comfortable with having one- mainly because this is my third baby. It is my first girl, but I didn't have a shower for my second child and I don't need one for this baby, either. Is it totally ungrateful of me to ask her to NOT throw me a shower? Or should I just go along with it and be happy about it? 
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Re: do I *have* to have a shower?

  • mollybloommollybloom member

    I would thank her for the offer, but opt against having a shower thrown for me. Explain that you are not comfortable with having a shower since it is your third child, but that she is a wonderful friend for offering.

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  • Sherbet LemonSherbet Lemon member
    It's not ungrateful at all.  I wouldn't want to have a shower after baby #1 either. 

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  • Jams1002Jams1002 member
    imagemollybloom:

    I would thank her for the offer, but opt against having a shower thrown for me. Explain that you are not comfortable with having a shower since it is your third child, but that she is a wonderful friend for offering.

    Yes 

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  • rhubarb123rhubarb123 member
    Just because someone gushes they want to throw you a shower doesn't mean you need to accept.  Just let her know you are uncomfortable with having a shower for your third LO...but appreciate the thought/offer.  Maybe she could help host a party after your LO is born "meet the baby party".  That might help her get over the disappointment.
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  • eav2ceav2c member

    imageSherbet Lemon:
    It's not ungrateful at all.  I wouldn't want to have a shower after baby #1 either. 

    Yep, this. 

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  • sesigssesigs member

    imageSherbet Lemon:
    It's not ungrateful at all.  I wouldn't want to have a shower after baby #1 either. 

    Totally agree!  

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  • DelBride2012DelBride2012 member
    I have declined the two friends who offered, and I am a FTM. The idea of a shower thrown for me makes me uncomfortable because I hate being the center of attention. I just told them both I would rather celebrate in some way after the baby comes.
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  • PattyandAlanPattyandAlan

    imagerhubarb123:
    Just because someone gushes they want to throw you a shower doesn't mean you need to accept.  Just let her know you are uncomfortable with having a shower for your third LO...but appreciate the thought/offer.  Maybe she could help host a party after your LO is born "meet the baby party".  That might help her get over the disappointment.

    I think this is a really great idea!

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  • Ladiebug710Ladiebug710 member
    If you aren't comfortable then let her know how you feel.  It is a really generous offer, but not necessary.  What I have been to for second and third time moms that I thought was cute was just a diaper sprinkle where the only gifts were diapers and wipes- mostly an excuse to get together and eat cake.

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  • cco42cco42
    imagePattyandAlan:

    imagerhubarb123:
    Just because someone gushes they want to throw you a shower doesn't mean you need to accept.  Just let her know you are uncomfortable with having a shower for your third LO...but appreciate the thought/offer.  Maybe she could help host a party after your LO is born "meet the baby party".  That might help her get over the disappointment.

    I think this is a really great idea!

     I like this idea, too. Then all of the attention is on the baby and not me, and she would still get to throw a little party (which she was really looking forward to). I'll have to think about this one. The sprinkle is a nice idea, too, I just know that most of my friends wanted to go shopping for girl clothes... so generous and sweet but so unnecessary!

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  • Ivana_StolichnayaIvana_Stolichnaya member
    I turned down 4 offers for my second baby.  People looked at me all confused.  My mom even said, "All babies need to be acknowledged" but I stuck to my guns.  Some people feel a shower is to welcome the mom into motherhood while others feel it's to welcome the baby.  I feel once you have a shower, then you don't need to be showered again for another baby.  I brought up a Sprinkle and nothing ever came out of it.  It didn't bother me at all.  I have a healthy happy baby boy, the fact that I didn't have a party before he was born doesn't bother me at all.
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