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November 2012 Moms
Baby shower tackiness question...
This question may have been asked before, so sorry if it has. I am just curious about how you all feel about asking for books instead of cards at the baby shower. Do you think it's tacky, or gift grabby? The people throwing my shower have asked me if I would like to do it, and I don't really know how I feel about it. They also asked if I would like to do a diaper raffle, and I flat out said no to that. Opinions are appreciated. TIA.
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Re: Baby shower tackiness question...
I would say no, but you could tell the organizers to let everyone know you want to start a library for your peanut and invitees can keep it in mind when they are shopping for your gift.
That said, I know some people that get a book instead of a card. Also, these days a nice card can run $5 and a kids board book can be less than $8, so it's a bit of a trade-off if you sub the book for the card.
Note: I am speaking cdn pricing here.
We did a books-only shower (rather than registering for gifts). We asked everyone to bring their two favorite books (and asked that they buy them at Borders to make any duplicate returns easy). It was great fun to see what everyone brought! I thought we'd get a million 'Goodnight Moon's' and such from my childhood, but a ton of the guests had young kids of their own and had found new favorites that we just love. Even though we got a ton (no one stuck to the two-book request) I still remember who most of the books were from.
But to answer your question, no, I would not ask for a gift in addition to books.
12/1/11 BFP, missed m/c diagnosed @ 9w2d
BFP #1 9/25/2011 | EDD 6/1/2012 | M/C 10/26/2011 at 8w6d
BFP #2 3/13/2012 | EDD 11/23/2012
9DPO hcg: 45; Prog: 41 | 14DPO hcg: 694 | 17DPO hcg: 2733 | 28DPO hcg: 53,006
First u/s 4/13 showed a beating heart! Second u/s 5/2 showed a HB of 163! Let's GROW, baby!
He's here! Kellen born 11/16/12 - 8 lbs 8 oz 22 inches long via scheduled c-section (breech baby, gestational diabetes mama)
I went to a baby shower for a friend where they asked for books instead of cards, and I didn't think it was tacky, but I'm probably in the minority (and not saying I'd want that for my own shower). The people throwing the shower had a rhyming message that they put on the invitation that asked us to bring our favorite childhood book instead, and she did end up with a few duplicates. We didn't put a message in the book because we wanted her to be able to return it, so we ended up buying a card anyway lol.
It's funny you asked this because my shower hostesses just asked me the same question the other day. I was leaning toward no for the same reasons (I feel funny asking people to bring additional gifts). My other concern was about duplicates, since the one girl got like 4 Goodnight Moons and if they're signed inside you can't return them.
The past 3 or 4 showers I've been to all did the "bring a book in lieu of a card" thing so I think it's pretty common, at least in my area, and people kind of expect it. But still, something about it rubs me the wrong way.
I'm not a fan of the diaper raffle, so I definitely said no about that.
What's a diaper raffle or a wishing well? Haven't heard of them before.
Have you heard about the money tree? I went to a shower for the wife of a friend of my husband's. (I was kind of mad I had to go because I barely knew her and knew no one else there.) They had taken a branch from a tree and spray painted it white and mounted it to a board. Below it there was a little bowl of rubber bands and guests were asked to tie cash to the tree. This was in addition to bringing gifts. I was really shocked. I saw it upon walking in and just ignored it. The MTB's step mom was going around asking people if they'd seen it and to "bless this growing family". It was awkward and quite frankly, rude.
Diaper raffle - there's a little card in the invite that asks everyone to bring diapers. For every box you bring, your name is entered into a raffle for prizes.
Wishing well - at a bridal shower, guests are asked to bring a small item (think spatula, egg timer, dish towel etc). usually you don't wrap it or anything, and it's put either in a basket or something that actually resembles a wishing well.
Diaper raffle- well what kind of prizes are we talking? A candle? No, Thanks. Diamonds? I'll get a box or two!
Wishing well- That strikes me as weird.
Diaper raffle- well what kind of prizes are we talking? A candle? No, Thanks. Diamonds? I'll get a box or two!
Wishing well- That strikes me as weird.
I personally loved it. I hate spending $5 on a card that is going to get tossed. I bought a book that I loved for the shower I went to and no one had it before. I didn't write in the book in case it was a duplicate. I just added a tag of paper with it to say it was from me.
IMO, it's not tacky at all.
I think requesting that guests buy you a book instead of a card is tacky/gift grabby, b/c you are specifically telling them what to purchase. They should not feel at all obligated.
In regards to the diaper raffle, I actually don't find it tacky. This may be because I have never been to a baby shower that did not include a diaper raffle. That being said, I think the wording is important. I was recently invited to a shower, and the invitation TELLS you to bring diapers in addition to your gift. I think it's better if you make it totally optional to the person you are inviting, something like- "We will be having a diaper raffle. If you would like to enter, please bring a pack of diapers." I have seen this and it never makes me feel obligated to participate. I also don't feel left out or guilty if I choose not to bring diapers in addition to my gift. I feel it is an appropriate way to mention that diapers would be MUCH appreciated, and the raffle seems like a cute way to do it.
To me, the entire point of a shower is to throw a party for someone you know and invite others to come "shower" her with gifts. That's the only kind of shower I have seen, anyway. So it's kind of a given that people are going to purchase things. Because of that, I also don't find it tacky for the person throwing the shower to specify on the invitation where the mom-to-be is registered. Otherwise we have to go figure it out-- just tell me! Anyway, that's just my opinion.
Whenever I talk to someone who went to a shower that asked for books instead of cards raves about it and think its the cutest thing. Cards cost about $4 and I never buy them so I would personally rather buy a book than a card.
Also, if your not hosting you are not the one asking so I don't think it is too "gift-grabby". It's the hostess asking them to bring books instead of cards... not you.
Here are 2 cool invites I saw on Pintrest.
To some degree, a SHOWER is telling people how to spend their money or what to spend it on.
BFP #1 9/25/2011 | EDD 6/1/2012 | M/C 10/26/2011 at 8w6d
BFP #2 3/13/2012 | EDD 11/23/2012
9DPO hcg: 45; Prog: 41 | 14DPO hcg: 694 | 17DPO hcg: 2733 | 28DPO hcg: 53,006
First u/s 4/13 showed a beating heart! Second u/s 5/2 showed a HB of 163! Let's GROW, baby!
He's here! Kellen born 11/16/12 - 8 lbs 8 oz 22 inches long via scheduled c-section (breech baby, gestational diabetes mama)
When I was pg with my DS, I had two very intimate showers (20 ppl/each) with close family members who all know that I love to read. We asked that they purchase a book for DS's library (not instead of a card nor did we expect another gift but most did anyway) - we had labels made up for each person to write a message to DS (which was included with the invitation).
Everyone participated and thought it was a great idea (4 years ago). I only received 1 duplicate book (Goodnight Moon).
GL!
Geez. You ladies who are getting so worked up over being told how to spend your money. DON'T DO IT! Bring a card if you're so offended. No one's twisting your arm. How is it different than including those little cards where the mom to be is registered? That's basically saying "This is what I want you to buy". It's not law, it's a suggestion.
Frankly, I'd rather spend money on a book which will actually get some use instead of an overpriced piece of cardboard with a schmultzy message that's going to get tossed away.
::Shugs shoulders::
I don't see the problem with it. It was done (along with a diaper raffle- GASP!1!!1!) at my shower, and it was a lovely surprise as I did not plan my shower and had NO idea this was being done. We love all the books, and we only had 1 duplicate (but in different sizes) no big deal.
We appreciate the books and the messages in them- DD will never meet some of these family members due to either distance or the fact that they have passed, and its nice to have something more than a diaper genie, wipe warmer, or some teething ring to remember them by. I would have for sure thrown a card with a simple signature away, but these books will be kept and I will pass them down to her when she grows up and has children of her own.
To each their own, I don't have an issue with it.
Consider this my UO a day early.
Big sister meeting little brother for the first time-
<a href="http://s326.photobucket.com/albums/k409/YellowMiles/?action=view
I'm with you, Milesc. This wasn't done for me personally, but I think it's a great idea and I always think books make excellent gifts.
To speak to the rest of it, I honestly think baby showers are gift grabby, hands down. Really, what is the real reason to throw a shower?!?! We all know the answer. But frankly, most women LOVE buying baby gifts for a friend or relative. Love it. In the end, people will buy (or not buy) whatever they like. If they think your book request is tacky, they either won't buy you a book or won't go to your shower. And so life goes on.
Those invitations are darling! This other lady needs to take it easy and relax when discussing baby showers! Wowser! My friend hosted a shower like this for me and everyone loved it! I got one duplicate and was able to return it no problem!!
Thanks but nobody 'round these parts is debating baby shower tackiness anymore. This post is nearly 9 months old.
Another one! This board has been like when a new construction crew digs up an area and finds ancient bones and ruins.
It's also still tacky, nine months later. We've moved on to more important matters, like the four weddings, BLW, whether Harry is hotter than Liam, sleep training, and how Nov12 has the cutest babies ever.