November 2012 Moms

Who will be there for LO's birth?

Originally, I only wanted my midwife and my husband.  We considered a doula, but have tabled the idea for a bit.  My sister has expressed her desire to be there for the birth, which I have no issues with.  Yesterday at our midwife's office, my husband said that he'd like to have my MIL there for the birth also.  Her and I have a great relationship, and she is very nurturing and mothering to me (my own mom died 5 years ago).  I think I'd like her to be there, if she wants to be.  

Who will be there for your LO's birth?  Are you adamant about certain people being there or not being there?  I'm curious where everyone else's heads are with this...

Re: Who will be there for LO's birth?

  • I am going to only have my husband in the room initially. I am not going to mention anything about it to my mother or MIL unless they ask. I told my husband, if during labor I feel like I would like my mom, or MIL to come help comfort me, then I will ask. I just don't want to have to kick anyone out, so I am going to wait and see how I feel when the time comes. 
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  • With our first I had DH and my mom.  I did not want my MIL there because she is the type of person that has to have the focus of attention on her at all times and DH gets run over by her.  As it turned out I laboured for 12hrs and just when we were starting to push my MIL (who works at the hospital I delvered at) decided it would be a good time to pop in and see how things were going.  I was NOT impressed.  That will NOT happen this time around.  I may have to have a c/s this time and that would be perfect because then it would definitely be just me and DH.
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  • My husband, my mother, and my mother in law. My sister in law wants to be in there but I'm not sure how many people the hospital will allow. I think at that time I am not going to care who is in there or not so it is pointless to be adamant about my list. Opera could be in there if she wants! As long as this girl gets out of me nice and quick I'll be happy. 

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  • My husband and mom will be allowed into the delivery room, and my dad and whoever else can wait in the waiting room.  DH jokes that it's a good thing my mom will be there so  that she can catch him when he passes out during the birth. 
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  • mopsiemopsie member
    Our hospital only allows two people - the father and one other person (if wanted).  Those two people can't switch out at all throughout the labor process.  Last time it was DH and my sister, and it'll probably be the same this time around.
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  • It will be just DH and I and our birth team.  I am very quiet when I labor and prefer there to be minimal noise so I can ignore it.  My parents were present at the hospital for the last 6-7 hours or so of my labor with DD1.  They were so bored and my dad would take calls from his office still trying to be productive.  It really annoyed me, but I understood.  They did have to leave during the actual delivery though.  They have the pleasure of watching DD1 during this birth, so it will be just us.

    I think you just need to be very comfortable with whomever you choose to have present.  Labor is an intense experience and it's important to know yourself and your boundaries.  My MIL is loud and cries a lot; she would not be a good person to have present during this time.



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  • CTA7CTA7 member

    imagebenoitfan:
    As it turned out I laboured for 12hrs and just when we were starting to push my MIL (who works at the hospital I delvered at) decided it would be a good time to pop in and see how things were going.  I was NOT impressed. 

    Surprise I would have killed someone (many people?) if it happened to me.  Totally unbelievable.  

    With DD it was DH and the doctor/nurses.  This time around we may get a doula as well, but I have no interest in having friends/family watch me push out a baby.

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  • DH my mom pushed her way into my last c section then wanted nothing to do with DD....don't ask long story....
  • I will have DH in there for sure, and possible my mom and sister I haven't decided yet. My MIL is probably the last person I would want to have in there and will probably have a fit, but there is no way she will be allowed in until after the baby is born.
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  • DH and that's it (other than teh Dr. and nurses)...very adamant about that!

    Mom and MIL will be in the family waiting room and just like last time they are not to be sitting in the waiting room until I go to the labour and delivery side to stay. At my hospital, if you are able to/want to they have you walk loops around the halls and it goes by the family waiting aera. I didn't want to see anyone other than DH during the whole labour process.

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  • Just my SO, dr, nurses...

    My mom, sister, SO's parents and sister, and maybe my grandparents will probably be in the waiting room.

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  • It will most likely be my SO, my mother, and his mother. I don't have any boundary issues with any of them. They'll all be at the side of me though! SO included unless he really wants to look but I doubt it.

    I was in the room for the birth of 3/4 of my moms kids. The only one I wasn't in there for was for my oldest brother, since I was 3 at the time. Also I get the feeling that while I'm in labor I'm going to want my mommy!

     
                                                             | R 11/22/12  |  L 03/14/14 |
  • tngrl3tngrl3 member
    Besides doctor and nurses, just my BF. no one else! I could not handle having my mom in there at all and while I am incredibly close to my dad it would just be weird to have him there. My sisters that live close don't do IVs, blood, guts, etc. so I wouldn't ask them to be present. There is a good chance we may not tell anyone I'm even headed to the hospital. I hate being the center of attention. I'm ok with people visiting after just not during or right after. 
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  • Just DH and our doula.  I'm not letting my DH call anyone until after baby is born and only when I'm good and ready to see people.
                                                                                              BFP #1 3/2/12, T born 11/7/12
                                                                                                 BFP #2  7/2/14, CP 7/6/14
                                 BFP #3 8/28/14, MMC 10/2/14 @ 9wks - misoprostol 10/6/14, D&C 11/3/14 for retained tissue
                                       BFP #4 12/25/14, EDD 9/7/15 - please stick baby, you are so loved and wanted!!!!!                                                                                           
                                                                                                                                                   
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  • I am hoping my husband, but it's not a sure thing.

    My mom and my in-laws plan to come to town and be at the hospital (not delivery room). I would rather the in-laws didn't, but DH is insisting I not try to veto it. 

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  • Me, DH, Doc, and X# of nurses. While my ass is hanging out, exactly 0 other people are welcome in the room. I will be happy for others to be involved by helping to watch my toddler and if they want to stake out the waiting room, that's fine with me. My MIL is great and had 5 kids, so I'll happily talk to her about the experience beforehand, but not welcome in the room. Don't think my step-mom would really feel the need to be in there for the actual birth, even if I offered. I don't think I would even have my mom in there, if she were still alive. Don't know if my aunt would want to (we are close since my mom's death), but I'm sure she knows me well enough to know that is NMS.
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  • Our LO will be the first neice/nephew, grandchild, great-grandchild... etc so EVERYONE wants to be there!
    My MIL and sister have both espressed interest in wanting to be in the delivery room but it'll be only me, DH and any drs and nurses!
    (DH doesnt even want to be there! Well, he want to.. but hates pain (especially seeing me in pain!), needles, blood, etc! lol Hospitals make him feel sick!)
    Anyone else is free to stay in the waiting room if they wish but we probably won't even call anyone til we know LO is on her way for sure..

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  • With DS1 it was DH, the doctor and the nurses.  My mom was in there up until I started pushing (she wanted it to be only DH and I).  My ILs were at the hospital waiting the whole day, but are quite reserved so they didn't come back until A was born.

    This time it will be DH and I.  We are debating on whether or not we want A to come to the hospital at all.  Either way, my ILs will be watching A. 

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  • For DD, I had DH, my Mom and my Dad (he stayed to the side!) and I am so glad they were all there. 

    For this baby, DH is deployed so it will definitely be my Mom while my Dad and Brother watch DD.  I will be about 8 hours from my MIL but told her if she gets there in time she is welcome to be there too. 

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  • Just my boyfriend and the delivery team. Already told my family that too, they understand. Unless I go into labor when we have his daughter (due on a Thursday, and that Friday is his weekend) and we need someone to come to our house to watch her, we probaby won't even call them until he's born. I don't want everyone sitting around a waiting room for who-knows-how-long, whether they are fine with it or not, it seems like a waste of time. We will want some time with just us and the baby right after anyway - so if we call right away, then their drive time to the hospital is a perfect amount of time.
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  • As I like to say, only the person who put the baby in, and the person who is taking the baby out (plus a nurse or whatever).  LOL.  That's during the actual delivery part...  Before that stage, I may allow our parents to say hi, but I will reserve the right to boot them out on their asses.

    Me: 32 DH: 32
    Married: 05/31/2008
    DS: 11/06/2012 at 38w 1d
    M/C: 06/11/2015
    DD: 06/14/2016 at 37w 3d
  • Just my hubby and the doc and whoever the doc needs with him. 
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  • wawa84wawa84 member

    LO's dad of course and probably my mom.  That is how it was for DS, so I imagine it would go the same.  Our hospital has a 2 person max rule during labor and delivery.  With DS my family took turns to come in and see me for a few minutes each before I pushed.  When it came time to check me everyone pretty much would leave the room.  My mom used to be a labor and delivery nurse, so I found it very comforting to have her in the room.  She could answer my questions and read the printouts from the monitors.  I knew she would have my back if the nurses and/or doctor did anything questionable....and she did. I liked having her there for that.

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  • ansi29ansi29 member
    My husband, doula and midwives + nurses.  Everyone else can stay in the waiting room during active labor. Heck, I would stay in the waiting room during active labor if I could. 
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  • Our families live in Texas, so it will just be H our LO and the drs. 
    oa1
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  • kbl13kbl13 member
    Just DH (and Dr/nurses). I was very upfront with my family and his from the beginning and have made it very clear that that's all I want, but they are already complaining and I know that feelings are hurt.
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  • Just my DH and my sister (if she can be in town) and maybe my mom. I don't want my MIL anywhere near the hospital before I give birth. She lives a few hours away and I'm considering asking DH to wait to even tell her anything is happening until after I deliver so I don't have to deal with her intruding on our first few hours. She is the type that would come in and take the baby from whoever was holding him and not give him back. 
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  • I'm thinking DH and my EX SIL lol she usually keeps me calm but sometimes does talk alot. But I know I could yell NO TALKING and she wouldn't care a bit. I think my mom and sisters would just get on my nerves more than be helpful. I'm really afraid DH will get on my nerves because we don't mesh well When I'm stressed (ok its all me but still) lol
  • My fiance will be in the room and the rest of the family will probably be in the waiting area. Thats my guess :)
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  • Papa Bear will be there (of course), my mother, and my sister.

    Since I'm planning on birthing at a birthing center, there's no reason to keep them away, especially since these three people are the ONLY ones I really care about sharing this experience with (to be frank), since these are the only people that will be in contact with him on a daily basis

    Anyone else who wants to see him can wait until Christmas, or come over to see him.

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