Embarassing water birth question

amandaeliz1109 · July 2012

We had our (required) waterbirth class at the hospital on Thursday and were told to bring a small fishnet for scooping out any "floating organic material" (their words). This is supposed to be the dad's (or support person there) responsibility.

I know that BM's happen during delivery. For some reason I can deal with it happening on the bed because I've heard the nurses get rid of it quickly.

But the thought of my DH using a net to fish my poop out of the water is just so mortifying and embarassing to me!

Any other waterbirther's hear about this from their hospital/birth center? Any 2nd timer's have advice/experience? I hope this doesn't sound ridiculous, I just cannot help stressing over this.

LiebeMama · July 2012

I didn't have a water birth, but when watching various child birth videos on youtube, you could see some of them doing this. I think "material" could be just about anything; meconium as well, maybe a mucus plug, etc.

iris427 · July 2012

By the time I was in the tub, I was so much in the labor zone that I didn't care about that kind of thing at all. The whole neighborhood could have paraded through the room, staring at me naked, and I would not have cared. Even if you don't have a water birth, your husband will probably see you poop some. Denial is a good approach I think.

StefandTodd · July 2012

Yeah...it happens. You won't care when the time comes. Even if you were on the bed, your H would likely see it, and he'd just see someone else wiping it away...but he'd still see it.

LollyBug18 · July 2012

I was at my friends' water birth and one point the midwife used one of those nets to scoop something up. I'm pretty sure it was poo but she was very quick and discreet about it, never said anything, got rid of it quickly, didn't wave it around for the whole room to see. Just scooped and then gone. I'm pretty sure my friend didn't even know it had happened. If it has to be YH to do, I would just be insistent that he be discreet about it and on the look out to take care of anything quickly. I do get what you're saying about it being YH that does it though, even if you poop on a hospital bed, it's probably going to be a nurse that takes care of it 99.9% of the time. Do they really insist that it be YH and no one else?

choppinbroccoli22 · July 2012

I hadn't thought about this! DH swears up and down that I didn't poop last time, but this does creep me out a little.. Although... Having caught DD's poop in my hand a few times while she took a bath, it couldn't possibly be any worse than that, and that wasn't actually that bad. I guess I really love that squirt.

frlcb · July 2012

I pooped, probably a lot, in my water birth. I know my midwife had the fishnet out quite a bit, and I simply didn't care. I can't imagine they make your dh do it, what if you had no one with you? That is so weird. Anyway, don't stress, it happens to most women and is so not a big deal.

zaramarie81 · July 2012

LollyBug18:
I was at my friends' water birth and one point the midwife used one of those nets to scoop something up. I'm pretty sure it was poo but she was very quick and discreet about it, never said anything, got rid of it quickly, didn't wave it around for the whole room to see. Just scooped and then gone. I'm pretty sure my friend didn't even know it had happened. If it has to be YH to do, I would just be insistent that he be discreet about it and on the look out to take care of anything quickly. I do get what you're saying about it being YH that does it though, even if you poop on a hospital bed, it's probably going to be a nurse that takes care of it 99.9% of the time. Do they really insist that it be YH and no one else?

This is where I am getting hung up too. Yes, with birth a lot of "stuff" can come out and not every husband is going to have the presence of mind to deal with that. So I am surprised they are suggesting it be him (and hoping that the nurses or a midwife are an optio n?) My Dh is probably going to be struggling to keep it together for most of our l&d (he's a great man, don't get me wrong, but trust me, we NEED our doula lol). I can't even fathom him having "net for poo" duty!

katiej23 · July 2012

Oh gosh! I'm with you - I'm okay with the idea of pooping in labor and I know it's normal etc., but I'd reeeeeally rather it not be my husband actually scooping it. It's one thing for him to know it happens, but - that pushes my (liberal) comfort zone with him!

vintagejjane · July 2012

I was too focused on pushing DD out to even care about what else was going on. I did push a little poop out, but it was very little and that was that. They scooped it out right away and my husband barely noticed.

Tash13 · July 2012

Honestly, when you're in the heat of the moment you don't even care. I didn't have a water birth last time but I have no idea if I pooped or not. My H has cleaned up my bodily functions in the past, between birth, stomach flus, etc. Maybe it's just the dynamic of our relationship but my husband would do it and never mention it again. If your husband won't clean up your feces, who will?

[Deleted User] · July 2012

It's true that you probably won't care in the moment, but it seems a little strange to me that they would make your husband do it. Is that common?

Jcrab · July 2012

Maybe ask for clarification, like would it be DH's responsibility if you were laboring in the tub a long time and the nurse wasn't even in the room? It makes sense your nurse wouldn't be able to run into the room every few minutes to scoop poo if needed but if she was already there I imagine they would. It almost seems like a scare tactic to deter you from a water birth. FWIW, I did most of my pushing on the toilet and there was no poop in the tub but a few chunks of bloody mucus.

barnwife · July 2012

A. was a home water birth. I didn't poop during either delivery. Had I done so, either the midwife, her assistant, or DH would have scooped it out (or cleaned/wiped it up with J.). Honestly we didn't talk about who would do it ahead of time. But any of them would have if necessary.

I honestly wouldn't have cared in the moment (and still wouldn't) who the job fell to.

I would ask if a nurse does it if s/he is in the room. I get that in a hospital there may not always be someone right there so DH might be called upon to scoop things. But if a nurse is there, why don't they do it?

wifeofadam · July 2012

It happened more than once to me while I was in the tub with #3. I had one tiny second where I started to get embarassed and then the pain hit me again and I realized that I didn't care what they were scooping out of the tub so long as my 20 hours of labor with a posterior baby were about to end.

You won't care. Honestly. I've had a BM with all three of my babies and it's just part of it.

InfinityDreamer · July 2012

I am not worried about DH seeing me have a BM. I am however worried that I might poo while he is in the birthing tub with me if we decide to use it instead of just me alone in our bath.

I expressed this concern to DH and he said "Well yeah that's gross, but if I have to sit in anyone's poop soup I'd want it to be yours." Romantic, right?

I didn't have any BM at all during my last two labors, so I'm just hoping I'll get lucky again.

julyjennifer · July 2012

InfinityDreamer:
I expressed this concern to DH and he said "Well yeah that's gross, but if I have to sit in anyone's poop soup I'd want it to be yours." Romantic, right?

This made me laugh.

My son was born in the water, and by the time I got in the tub I had already been off and on the toilet so my body had already cleaned itself out. So, maybe you won't have to worry.

mAnYaSha · July 2012

O darn, I have not thought about this. With DS#1 it was my biggest fear and I was told by everyone that I did not do it. My midwife did not mention anything about poop scoop when we talked about her bringing the birth pool to the house. May be I will borrow my cat's. LOL

mAnYaSha · July 2012

choppinbroccoli22:
I hadn't thought about this! DH swears up and down that I didn't poop last time, but this does creep me out a little.. Although... Having caught DD's poop in my hand a few times while she took a bath, it couldn't possibly be any worse than that, and that wasn't actually that bad. I guess I really love that squirt.

LOL. I actually talked about this with DH this weekend. Imagine reading your post before you had kids.

kelizabeth073 · July 2012

I'm with you on this one. I don't care how open I am with my husband, and regardless of how much I love him, I have my boundaries. In my opinion, it should be what makes you comfortable. If him doing that doesn't make you comfortable, then he should be doing what you want him to do. Whether I'm in the zone or not, I'd tell anyone who suggested this arrangement that they're out of their minds if they think that's how this is going to go down. Also, maybe it's just me, but you'd think most people would want their husband up by their head holding their hand, helping them stay calm, etc. If my husband was actually able to be there, that's what I'd want him doing.

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