Today would have been 25 weeks...

sloannmark · July 2012

Will I always keep track of these weeks/dates? I swear, every Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday mean something to me regarding our loss. Will there ever be a Tuesday that is just a Tuesday? I remember when I was pregnant I couldn't wait to jump on the Bump to see my ticker...

I have been keeping anything we'd been given for the boys (onsies, etc.) in our spareroom closet. I went in there over the weekend and just stared. I felt anxious, sad and oddly afraid to touch anything. I finally picked up the Dr. Suess onsies we were given that said "thing 1" and "thing 2." I didn't cry but I just held it for a while and then put it back and quickly shut the closet.

Oh, and still not speaking to my parents! It's been about a month.

Bayberry12 · July 2012

I know exactly what you mean, Thursday and Saturday are the days that stand out to me. I kind of force myself to not keep track of weeks and dates. I know it's been about 3 months since I lost Stella, and I could easily look at my siggy to be reminded, but I try not to.

Sometimes it can help to look at their things, and think about them (even though you already think about them ALL THE TIME). Keeping special things is important. Hopefully some day those things will give you peace.

I'm sorry things are still bad with your parents.

dandywarhol · July 2012

What hurts even more is when the day no longer jumps out. Sylvie's day was Friday and about up until her EDD I kept track of those Fridays but after awhile life started to get back in the way and Friday would come and go and I wouldn't recognize the significance of Friday. Then I would get sad and guilty for not remembering.

I kept most of Sylvie's things out until her EDD. I think on her EDD I packed up most of the stuff but it is still in our spare room. I can't stand the thought of just putting it in the garage or basement.

These losses really have a way of f-king with one's mind.

I'm sorry about things with your folks.

Roxycc55 · July 2012

I would have been 20 weeks Saturday, I keep track of it constantly. I keep track of every date that has anything to do with it. I feel exactly what you are saying on this. My days are Saturday, Monday, and Wednesday. And I think of the things connected every single one of those three days. Plus like every day honestly, but with time this will probably lessen. I'm thinking once you get past the due date, maybe? I'm sorry.

jbranden12 · July 2012

Before Patricia's due date, I was very aware how pregnant I should have been by the week. After, I didn't really think about it until she was meant to be one month. But she was born on March 30 and due May 30, so on the 30th of each month it is easy to calculate how long she has been gone and how old she should be.

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