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Adoption
choice of adoption
I have always felt strongly about adopting. I feel as though its the best option for me. Its just hard to convince my husband. I think he feels its weird to raise someone else's child. I know he wants one of "his own" but I've always felt that there are so many kids that need homes that are waiting. I don't want to adopt a baby either, I want to raise a child that's already like 5, 6 or 7. Twins would be fantastic. But the whole adoption thing is very confusing to me also. I don't want to be naive but do you have a say in which child you adopt?
and my favorite movie quote from Martian child :
" I don't want to bring another kid into this world. But how do you argue against loving one that's already here"
This discussion has been closed.
Re: choice of adoption
First off, hello, and welcome.
Yes, you totally can have a say into what type of adoption you are open to, and if you are adopting an older child, you can set forth what kinds of situations you'd be open to. My husband and I chose to adopt without trying to conceive because we wanted to share our blessings with a child that needed a family. We adopted our oldest son from Peru when he was 7 years old in 2010. We went back this past Spring to adopt our second son, who is 5.
I highly recommend you both do some reading. Learn about the adoption process and about the different types of adoptions. They are all very different, and adopting an older child will have very unique challenges. There are some great books in the FAQs, but I highly recommend Parenting the Hurt Child and Wounded Children, Healing Homes: How Traumatized Children Impact Adoptive and Foster Families if you are seriously considering adopting an older child.
If you have any specific questions, just ask! Also, many of us are hanging out on https://pandce.****/index.cgi?board=adoption, so check us out there.
I would recommend the website adoptuskids.org - it has information on adopting children from the U.S. foster care system and it can give you some basic information on the process. There is a photolisting that shows you some of the waiting children. I don't have any personal experience with adoption from foster care, it is just something I have been looking into as we do our research into adoption.
As far as your husband it is important to be on the same page, I think the more education that you can both get, the better. Sometimes there are a lot of misconceptions about adoption and your husband may feel more comfortable with the process if he has more information.
I also suggest the FAQs on this board, especially the positive adoption language section, it can really make a huge difference and it also helps to educate others when you are talking about adoption. Good luck!!