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Parenting
MrsCodeMonkey
member
Just said good bye Sept. 19th (MMC at 12 weeks)
Tell me a corny joke
MrsCodeMonkey
member
in Parenting
DH is gone to a baseball game. I'm watching Master Chef on Hulu. I need more entertainment or else I'm going to go raid the pantry. So tell me a corny joke if you know one. Here is mine:
I was on a roll once. I got butter on my knees.
Just said good bye Sept. 19th (MMC at 12 weeks) This discussion has been closed.
Re: Tell me a corny joke
::Said in a British accent::
Where does the king keep his armies?
In his sleevies!!
Why don't snakes have balls...
They can't dance.
No one gets that one for hours... (think Cinderella)
What's a pirates favorite letter?
You would think it was R, but it's really C!
Now you're just somebody that I used to Gogh.
ded
Online Photo Editor
:deader than dead. amazing:
A butcher is six feet tall. What does he weigh?
Candy
A man walks into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder. The bartender says "that's a nice lizard. What's his name!". The man replies "tiny. Because he's my newt.".
There are three types of people in this world: those who are good at math and those who are not good at math.
Sadly, I have many more.
There are 10 types of people in this world:
Those who understand binary and those who don't.
What do you call a cow that just had a baby?
Decalfinated.
I say, "Did you hear about that actress who committed suicide? Reece... something like that. Reece-- I can't remember her last name."
You say, "Witherspoon!!?!"
I say, "No! With her knife!"
My dad tells that all the time.
What's brown and sticky?
{A stick}
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
{Right where you left him.}
What did one wall say to another wall??
Meet you in the corner.
Two men walked into a bar. You'da figured the second one one woulda ducked.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying on the floor?
Matt
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on the wall?
Art
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a hole?
Doug
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating in a pool?
Bob
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging out on stage?
Mike
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?
Russell
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that has a hangover?
Ralph
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on a toilet?
John
What's brown & rhymes with Snoop?
Dr. Dre (updated/current answer substitute: Wiz Khalifa)
Why shouldn't you have phone sex?
You could get hearing AIDS
What are you when you're running to the bathroom?
You're a Russian
What did the fish say when it swam into the cement wall?
Dam.
(That is like my favourite silly joke of all time lol)
What was the celery arrested for?
Stalking!!!
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Cuz he was dead!
Tripped over the monkey(s).
Not exactly a joke, but here:
How do you put an elephant into the refrigerator?
You open the door, put him inside, and shut the door.
BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
BFP#3 "Pineapple" born 4/2013
BFP#4 "Grapefruit" EDD 3/29/16
How do you put a giraffe into the refrigerator?
You open the door, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and shut the door. You're the one that put the elephant in there just a moment ago; you really should remember that....
BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
BFP#3 "Pineapple" born 4/2013
BFP#4 "Grapefruit" EDD 3/29/16
The Lion King calls an Animal Convention. All the animals show up except one. Who doesn't come?
The giraffe! He's still in the refrigerator.
BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
BFP#3 "Pineapple" born 4/2013
BFP#4 "Grapefruit" EDD 3/29/16
You have to cross a river known to be filled with alligators. How to get across?
You swim. The alligators are all at the Animal Convention, remember?
BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
BFP#3 "Pineapple" born 4/2013
BFP#4 "Grapefruit" EDD 3/29/16