Support person for c/s. WWYD? clicky

juliane2004 · July 2012

I have had two c/s, and my husband was with me for both.

My mom has wanted to come in to the c/s as well, but the hospital only allows one person, and DH was that person for the first two kids.

Well, with this one, my mom has again said how much she would love to be in the c/s with me. DH says that's totally fine, he doesn't really care either way, he knows he'll see the baby a few minutes after she's born. For me, I think DH should be there, since it's HIS kid and it's our last kid.

But he doesn't really care about being in the room and my mom REALLY REALLY wants to.

I know that in the end, this is my decision, whether to have DH or my mom with me, but what would you do?

[Poll]

nealbl · July 2012

I would prefer my DH over anyone in the room.

I always find it strange when other people think they should be in the room. Your Mom knows that only one person can be in there so by saying she wants to be in there she knows that means your DH can't. I get that she is excited but I find that to be a little selfish.

I say go with your DH especially since it is your last. I would hate for him to regret it one day that he missed his last LO's birth and was there for the other two.

RayRay007 · July 2012

Agree with nealbl.

JaysonandKristin · July 2012

On top of what nealbl said, there are things that can go very wrong in the operating room -- with you or your LO.

Not to be Debbie Downer, but I've been there. If DH wasn't there, I'd have lost my sh!t even if he was just down the hallway. He just knows how to be exactly what I need him to be. My mom is wonderful, and when DH left with the baby to go to the Children's Hospital, she was the one I wanted to stay with me at my hospital. That doesn't change the fact that DH always needs to be by my side in the moment that I birth our kids.

And, I don't think you're "making" him be in the OR with you. I think he wants to be there, but is a great guy and understands that your mom also wants to be there.

I love my mom, but if she knew only one person could be in the OR and she suggested it be her, I'd laugh in her face and tell her she smoked her lunch. She knows where she stands in the pecking order when it comes to my kids.

tawillers · July 2012

Agreed with everyone above. I can't imagine my mom pushing her way in there like that. She'd never ask us to do that in a thousand years.

runnergirl79 · July 2012

Would it be stressful for you to have your mom there? Or, would your mom be as supportive as your husband? For me, it would come down to who would be the most supportive of the two. That's how I would decide. Also, do you want your mom there?

Personally, I have wanted my husband there always. He knows how to calm me down, and be supportive during that time.

glinters · July 2012

It's a moment between you and DH. I wouldn't mind sharing but not if it meant excluding him.

RayRay007 · July 2012

JaysonandKristin:

On top of what nealbl said, there are things that can go very wrong in the operating room -- with you or your LO.

Not to be Debbie Downer, but I've been there. If DH wasn't there, I'd have lost my sh!t even if he was just down the hallway. He just knows how to be exactly what I need him to be. My mom is wonderful, and when DH left with the baby to go to the Children's Hospital, she was the one I wanted to stay with me at my hospital. That doesn't change the fact that DH always needs to be by my side in the moment that I birth our kids.

Related to this, there may be decisions that need to be made on your behalf and usually it's your husband that has that authority.

Temp6313048411121614 · July 2012

With our first, I had a vaginal delivery and it was DH and both of our moms. With my c/s it was just DH. I couldn't imagine only 1 person being allowed and my mom thinking it should be her. She actually questioned me 10,000x during my 1st pg if I really wanted her in there because she wanted to make sure I hadn't changed my mind and wanted it to be just DH and I.

Soon2BMrsN · July 2012

Definitely DH. I think it's kind of selfish/rude of your mom to ask if she knows only one person is allowed to be in the O.R.

magdalina.h · July 2012

My mom wants to be in the OR during my c/s, but she knew that she couldn't because there is no way that MH wouldn't be in there.

akl0506 · July 2012

i'm a firm believer in the "if you weren't there for the creation (and you aren't a medical professional on staff at the hospital), you don't need to be in the delivery or operating room". it's nice that your mom wants to be there, but, honestly, this is your family with DH, not your mom. I would say that DH will be there and you will see your mom at such and such a time. Don't give it much more thought beyond that. If it's not up for discussion, its not up for discussion.

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