Last one for today: dreaming about activities for your kid(s)

jillianmb · July 2012

Growing up my siblings and I did not do very many extra-curricular activities. We went to a private school in another city and the bus ride was long (1.5 h) so it left little time for stuff like that. We also all were required to have a part time job after we turned 16, which meant even less time for extras.

I am happy with the way I was raised, but I also hope to expose my kids to more than I was exposed to. In particular I would like to expose our kids to either dance (ballet to start out with) or the arts (dramatic or visual) and I would love to see them follow through with one of those. I have no interest in any kind of sport though and where we live the "little league" atmosphere is very negative (lots of parents yelling), so DH and I have agreed not to offer that to our kids for the first few years.

What extras did you do growing up? What do you hope to expose your kids to?

baze2 · July 2012

We hope our child will be able learn a second language prior to when it is offered in the school system (high school..)We are hoping either spanish or german. So that he/she will become fluent in it.

Also we are not very "into the sports atmosphere and being a soccer mom"...we want our kids to be well rounded and not live or die for sports. Lets face it..only a very small percentage of kids are going to grow up to go pro in any sport..

hopefully our kids will learn an art too..piano or some other instrument. We are not musical but really hope that he or she can learn something that we don't know.

IRR · July 2012

I am going to respectfully disagree about not exposing kids to sports. It is a great way to learn team work, competition and taking directions. If a kid doesn't like sports that is a different story, but to purposefully keep them from it is like keep them from a form of education. DH and I are both musically challenged, but would love it if our child wanted to do something musical. Also, sports, arts and anything that will expose them to history whether it is museums, theatre or anything else. I think working at age 16 is also a good thing. It could just be babysitting or working at a daycamp, but to start a child with responsibilities other than school before college is also a great life lesson. Jillianmb, to respond here to another post, we are all for supporting our children in anyway they can but allowing them to "fail" once in awhile is also ok. This does tie into sports, where in some ways I think it is awful that all kids today get trophy's. The lesson in life that not everyone can win all the time is not a bad lesson to be had and will hopefully cause less disappointment to the child as an adult.

baze2 · July 2012

Irr, I guess I should be clear. I will expose my kids to sports. I just don't think that every kid should be "forced" to play every sport and be the best..parents pushing their kids to be the star of every sport etc. Living and dying for sports is just NMS...I will offer sports but will not be the one forcing my kids to play..does that make sense?

Like I said..well rounded is my goal..that includes some sports activities.

silliestbunny · July 2012

The idea of moderation comes to mind when I read your question.

I was very competitive volleyball player. As a family, we spent all of our weekends in volleyball-land. Lots of travelling and it was costly.

I will be thrilled not to go that route with my children. I don't want to spend every waking hour on the road or at an event. I would rather strike some moderation in extra curricular activities. I think family is the most important part of foster well-being and I don't want to compromise family time to have my children involved in lots of extra activities.

I expect they will try some dance and/or music as well as sports and a foreign language. If they are interested in any of it, we will likely pursue ONE of them.
I see too many families that bounce from practice to practice all childhood.

cogbot · July 2012

My hope is that my children are always involved in something. My family encouraged extra curricular activities. If we showed an interest, they did their best to give us the opportunity.

I am a band director and of course would love for my child to play an instrument. If they aren't interested thats ok too. Growing up I was involved in Girl Scouts, piano, band, I took dance from age 4 till I graduated from high school. I was also involved in my high school's speech team. I loved every moment of my activities.

My sister did not like the arts, so she participated in basketball, swimming, cross county, track and journalism.

My husband's family is very athletic. My step daughter cheered and rowed on the high school crew team. My stepson plays on his school basketball team and has been on a traveling team since he was 8. He also plays football, has ran track and played little league baseball. I also have a nephew that started on a Division 1 football team, and is currently an NFL free agent. (Basically an unemployed football player, but there is still hope he may get on a team.)

My point is that I'm sure our child will be involved. I enjoyed it growing up and I see the value of extra curricular activities. I will not force my child into any particular activity, but I will encourage them to find something that interests them. Once they find what they love, we will go above and beyond for them to learn and participate.

Dr.Loretta · July 2012

I don't plan things like this. We'll see what she's interested in. There's a fairly low-cost gymnastics place nearby that I want her to try out, but other than that I'm not looking at her doing anything for a while. Piano would be nice: we'll see. My brother and SIL have told their kids they can pick one sport to do, and that's it. They don't want to be driving all over town.

I did Girl Scouts for a whopping 2 months before I dropped out. I ran cross-country and track in HS. My parents said no job if we worked on getting good grades during the school year to (hopefully) end up with at least a partial scholarship.

Art Teacher · July 2012

I took gymnastics and ballet when I was little. In 7th grade or so I started ice skating. In HS I was involved in the arts/creative writing clubs.

We're thinking of enrolling DD in dance in the fall. I would have liked to do a swimming class this summer, but I don't think it's going to work out. Maybe later in the year. I wouldn't mind her trying t-ball but I think I'd want to wait untiil she's a bit older (she'll be 3 in Sept.)

jillianmb · July 2012

IRR:
I am going to respectfully disagree about not exposing kids to sports. It is a great way to learn team work, competition and taking directions. If a kid doesn't like sports that is a different story, but to purposefully keep them from it is like keep them from a form of education. DH and I are both musically challenged, but would love it if our child wanted to do something musical. Also, sports, arts and anything that will expose them to history whether it is museums, theatre or anything else. I think working at age 16 is also a good thing. It could just be babysitting or working at a daycamp, but to start a child with responsibilities other than school before college is also a great life lesson. Jillianmb, to respond here to another post, we are all for supporting our children in anyway they can but allowing them to "fail" once in awhile is also ok. This does tie into sports, where in some ways I think it is awful that all kids today get trophy's. The lesson in life that not everyone can win all the time is not a bad lesson to be had and will hopefully cause less disappointment to the child as an adult.

I agree that sports teach teamwork, but I don't think you have to be involved in sports to learn teamwork. There are other ways. That said, once our kids get older and they ask to be involved in a sport we will consider it. The only ones that will be an absolute no is football and hockey. I guess wrestling/boxing too. My SIL works in Alzheimer's research and the connection between concussions and Alzheimers is scary. Plus we are on the more pacifistic side of things, so in my mind violence should be reserved for last resorts, not entertainment.

All that to say- I get your point and probably should say more that we will not encourage sports than that we will prohibit them.

HopingforChange · July 2012

I am a Girl Scout leader, so I would love for my kids to try Scouting, but if it's not for them, it's not for them. I never did sports as a kid (I wasn't athletic and no one really encouraged me to play just for the sake of playing), and I felt that lack of training keenly in gym class and through my entire life, until I started running and got in touch with that competitive, athletic part of myself. I want to make sure my kids have the chance to play a sport and just try it. If they don't like it, that's fine, but I think they should at least get out there and give it a go. Sports are a huge part of American life and teach all sorts of great skills--perseverance, team work, respect for your body, etc... When I am running, I am SO much happier. I want my kids to have a chance to experience that feeling.

Courtneyluff · July 2012

I have so many things I would like for my kids to do! My husband played football, but he was also in Boy Scouts until his senior year of high school, in student council, Honor Roll, art club and band. I was in choir, theatre, band, art club, Honor Roll and SADD.

I never did all my activities in the same year, but he did! We hope our children are well-rounded and plan to just throw them in everything and see what sticks. Sports, music, art, advanced classes, clubs... Whatever!

It is so interesting to hear the different viewpoints on sports! I was never in sports and was terrible at them, but they are a huge part of my husband's life. He is 24 and still very close to a lot of the guys he played high school football with. I love the lifelong friendship it gave them.

DaisyZH · July 2012

I would love for my kids to have the option of pursuing whatever they feel passionate about. I think as my kids get older I'll be able to kind of help them figure out what they want to do. My DS is only 1 year old but seeing how active he is and what he likes to do I think I might try a little 2-year old gymnastics class next year because I think he'd like it.

My DH is a musician and teaches at a music school and I know he hopes our kids will learn piano, but if they actively don't want too he's certainly not going to push it.

As far as one activity though I really want them to do, I really really want them to be strong swimmers. I was on the swim team in school but my mom is terrified of the water and both she and my brother can't swim. I always worry about them so I want to make sure my kids at least are strong swimmers, but I don't care at all if they want to compete.

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