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Attachment Parenting
SandiaPinaMama
member
BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
BFP#3 "Pineapple" born 4/2013
BFP#4 "Grapefruit" EDD 3/29/16
Struggling emotionally with Extended BF (long)
SandiaPinaMama
member
LO is 15 1/2 months. We still nurse at night before bed, although not very long. I don't hear many swallows. He eats tons and tons of food, and drinks WCM during the day. He has STTN since around 9 months or so.
Some pertinent factoids:
1) DH and I are TTC #2, 2) I had pre-e severely enough that we ended up inducing at 36 weeks with DS, 3) I still am 12 lbs from my pre-baby weight, which was a bit overweight to begin with.
When I went to see my MW to have my IUD removed, we talked about the risk of pre-e occurring again in my 2nd pregnancy. After reminding me that all pregnancies are different, she told me that at any little sign of my BP going up, I would be seeing the specialists nearby and likely on bedrest, possibly as early as 20 weeks. She also said that weight could play a role in all of this, and that if I conceived without dropping any weight, she would only want me to gain 10 lbs or so during my entire pg. Eesh. She also agreed with me that my body is still holding onto the weight because of that last nursing session. She did not advise me to wean, only advised me that if I didn't lose any weight, then it would likely impact my next pg. FYI, I already eat very healthfully, and I've just run 2 half-marathons, and meet with a trainer weekly. I'm pretty healthy.
Part of me is so ready to wean, but part of me is sad. I wish LO would just self-wean, but I know that is unlikely right now. Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me? I don't want to hang onto one feeding if later it will put me or LO #2 in jeopardy, but I don't be done either. Although, I often wish I didn't have to nurse at night.... Ugh.
ETA: That was long. Here's a cookie.
BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
BFP#3 "Pineapple" born 4/2013
BFP#4 "Grapefruit" EDD 3/29/16
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Struggling emotionally with Extended BF (long)
A similar question has come up at LLL meetings. There isn't a right or wrong answer, but here is kind of how the line of conversation went...What if you wean and the weight doesn't come off? You and she can suspect that, but there is no way of really knowing. What if you wean and still get pre-e or don't get PG right away? Will you regret changing the nursing relationship with the child you already have for a potential child that may take months or years to concieve? What if you get PG and the calories that nursing burns + PG actually helps you to lose weight early in the PG or gain more slowly? (That was been the case with me). Have you gotten a second or third medical opinion on addressing the pre-e from someone unrelated to her practice? You don't need to answer any of those here, but hopefully processing through them will make your best option now clear. If you do decide to continue nursing, remember that you can always change your mind later. It isn't a forever choice. GL! These decisions are tough,
More Green For Less Green
DS2 - Oct 2010 (my VBAC baby!)
IMHO, it sounds like there are two issues here: trying to lose weight for health reasons and struggling with feelings about weaning.
It is absolutely possible to lose weight while BFing. I am very healthy in general. I teach a group fitness class at the gym. BUT my diet wasn't as good as it should have been until recently and that's when I started to make real progress with weight loss. Personally, I'm doing Weight Watchers because I'm the type of person that needs guidelines and accountability. They have a great program that takes BFing and exercise into account.
As for the nursing itself, you have to follow your heart on that one. If you want to keep the nighttime sessions, I think you can make it work. But if you feel like it's time to wean, then that's up to you. BFing is a two-way street and if you are ready to wean, I don't think you should feel guilty about it. There will be other ways to bond with your LO.
GL with everything!
PS- Thanks for the cookie! Lol
Well, since you asked for advice, here's what I think, take it or leave it.
You can lose the weight without weaning. Maintaining a normal weight has less to do with exercise, although sure it's good for you, and more to do with amount and type of calories you're putting in. Whole grains, veggies, high quality fats. And less of them. I think it's great you're training, but ultimately most people lose/maintain a healthy weight by adjusting their diet. I see tons of people on the bike trail every day on their road bicycles go whizzing past me who are carrying around an extra 25 lbs.
good luck.
On the weight, I reread your OP and you mentioned you were +12lbs before PG the first time. That suggests to me that you will need more work than weaning (if that is a factor) to get your weight down. My only thought to add to the conversation there would be to look at measuring body fat versus weight. If you carry a lot of muscle and exercise/run, your weight may not be the best indicator of your body fat levels.
On weaning, my 15 m/o is so far from weaning that I may be BFing him forever. My advice, don't let anyone on either side tell you what to think. I did notice you said, "Although, I often wish I didn't have to nurse at night.... Ugh." That said to me that you want to wrap it up, but you feel guilty.
GL!
Not to scare you, but I gained 15 lbs when I weaned & have always been on the thin side. Ari had only been nursing once per day for about 2 months & was actually taking in milk. I'm thinking since your LO isn't really drinking much, just mostly comfort nursing, weaning may not affect your weight, but obviously I'm pulling this opinion out of my arse.
I had pregnancy hypertension (not full blown pre-e) with Ari, & my BP has been incredibly low this time. I'm also on track to put on half the weight I did last time. YMMV, but the old adage "every pregnancy is different" is really true.
DH has always had a hard time keeping his weight down even with crap tons of exercise, trying several different diets, portion control, etc. The only thing that's worked for him is going almost entirely vegan. He has an animal product (we're talking cheese, meat, anything that is from an animal) no more than 2x per week. He dropped 25 lbs in like, 2 months. He's working out less due to crazy work hours, but is maintaining a very healthy weight. His cholesterol also dropped 100 points. No joke. I rec this book all the time, but either read the China Study or just watch Forks over Knives if you're really short on time. As is usually the case, the book is way better than the movie. We're true believers here.
Thank you all for such considerate responses! I so appreciate that I can come here and get help sorting out all of my feelings. I'm not sure what I'll do, but I'm leaning toward weaning. It's true that I'm beginning to feel like that last session is more of a chore than a privilege.
WM, thanks for the rec on the book. My DH became a vegan in March, and has lost 25 lbs himself. Maybe that's where I'm headed. I am just having a hard time figuring out what to make for dinner....
RG, thanks. Actually, your recent posts on the topic have been very comforting to me. We had such an amazingly difficult time to establish BFing, it just feels really scary to stop, even though tonight he only swallowed one time.... I'm sure it will all work out. GL on your LP.
BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
BFP#3 "Pineapple" born 4/2013
BFP#4 "Grapefruit" EDD 3/29/16
This last bit should be the reason to wean, not the loosing weight part. I weaned DD at 23 months and immediately gained 7 pounds within a month. I have had to seriously change my diet to slowly lose this weight and I have about 15 pounds to get down to my pre-pregnancy weight (although I am not technically overweight so I am fine about things going slow).
Listen to your emotions about BFing, and don't get too many other issues into it. You should be able to feel good about it afterwards too. Congrats on the half-marathons and good luck TTC!
PBI, but I tried to look for you posts RG. TB search is terrible. Mind telling me where else you are posting? I'm trying to decide if I should wean DD so I can get KU. I feel so guilty, but I don't have the luxury of waiting too long (I'll be 40 in September). It would be nice to read your feelings on the subject. Thank you.
Hope she doesn't mind, but I can answer that. Head over to the TTGP board and go back through looking for the TTC and BFing weekly check-ins. They are usually on Sunday. That's where RG was posting about her decision.
Lilies, thanks, I'll google that.
An update on what I decided: I realized after reading your answers that I just wasn't enjoying it anymore. I decided I would just try putting him to bed without nursing last night, resolving that if he so much as peeped, I would run in and nurse. Yeah, he just went to sleep. So, that solves that.
As for the weight, I know that I'll need to be extra cautious in the next few weeks, but truly, I eat quite healthfully. There is nothing about my diet that I or my MW feel the need to change, so I'm not going to. As a PP mentioned, whenever I've been training in the past, my weight has typically gone up a smidge. I'm done training for this season (I'll switch to other forms of exercise, and maybe run some 5ks), so I expect that will help too.
Thanks to everyone for your help and feedback. I don't have any sort of outlet like this IRL, so you all are invaluable to me.
BFP#1 "Watermelon" born 3/2011
BFP#2 "Pumpkin" 7/14/12 ~ EDD 3/23/13 ~ Natural M/C 8/3/12 @ 7 weeks
BFP#3 "Pineapple" born 4/2013
BFP#4 "Grapefruit" EDD 3/29/16