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December 2010 Moms
star1123
member
You can even just lie to me...
star1123
member
I know I've posted before about being a total lunatic thinking my son constantly shows autistic red flags. Literally NOBODY thinks so...at all. And lots of people have spent time with him that have extensive knowledge of toddler behavior, where literally the only experience I have is with my son. And I do suffer from anxiety - we are currently selling our home and buying a new home, so I am under a ridiculous amount of stress. Oh, and we are having Aiden evaluated on Friday just in hopes of me calming down a bit. He scored "above average" in social skills on the Ages and Stages Developmental Assessment at his 18 month visit, and his pedi kind of looked at me a little weird when I even suggested Autism,
ANYWAY - my son seriously has done every red flag for some period of time, and I swear it's like God laughing at me or something. He did a spinning thing for a week where he spun in circles, he did this weird hand thing for a week..just all sorts of things for a week and then stops.
But now he learned how to take a bread plate, turn it upside down and spins it. WTF! Why does this crap keep happening? Do seriously all toddlers go through these phases? My mom thought I was a nut job when he started doing it at dinner last night and said he clearly just learned how to do it, and that was it. He did it for maybe a minute, and I took away the plate and that was that. It wasn't a big deal, but I of course thing - OMG Autism!
So, just lie to me and tell me your toddler does this to.
Excuse me while I go and take an anti-anxiety pill!
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Re: You can even just lie to me...
Allow me.
But really, its okay to have awareness and concern, but when it starts seriously interfering with you enjoying time with your son, its not a good thing.
If it makes you feel any better, every toddler I've ever met likes to do weird things like spin in circles, stack things, line things up, make weird noises, etc. They are exploring their bodies and the things they can do and also learning about preferences and developing habits.
For instance, C needs his feet uncovered when he sleeps. He puts his cars into a neat little caravan line. He loves to stack Mega Blocks, but also likes to put them on his finger and spin them. He also just started spinning in circles and thinks its hysterical. All while being a perfectly normal and well adjusted kid.
Try your best to stay on the side of aware and concerned instead of worrying to death. If it really begins to consume you, it may not hurt to talk to your doctor about that anxiety. I've battled anxiety for years now and it is probably the worst feeling in the world. Enjoy your son - don't worry about him.
Ginny DX 21-Hydroxylase Deficiency Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
Charlie DX Specific Antibody Deficiency & ASD
Haha..thanks for the chill pill!
I am in therapy, and on a serious note - it does suck. I've always been higher on the anxiety level, but this is my all time low. I think just recently I have even seen how different my son is with other people, and it scares the hell out of me how much I see he clearly picks up on my anxiety. My son is legitimately a bit delayed in speaking, but the pedi thinks he's still in the normal range, and didn't even refer us to EI and said she thought it was unneccessary. My therapist even mentioned this study where some kids don't learn to talk because their parents are pushing them so much. It makes me cringe to think I'm doing that to my son.
Sigh..but, I am doing anything and everything I can do to get myself better. It's been a tough time with moving stuff and some other minor things that have built up. I have an amazing husband, and I know I will get better soon.
It's good to hear that other toddlers do similar things on occasion!
He does show us things, but not a ton. He definitely gives us things all the time - mostly books to read and other toys. He points to things he wants, and points to identify things in books, makes eye contact and is super affectionate.
He was on the later side of normal to clap, wave or point. He still isn't a big waver. He loves waving to random people when we take walks, which is kind of sad because most of the time these people don't see him waving and don't wave back! Lol! He will copy gestures, but doesn't always wave back to us if we wave hi or goodbye. It's sometimes like he's bound and determined to NOT do what we ask when we ask. He's more likely to copy a "fun" gesture like sticking his tongue out when we do it or blowing raspberries if we start.
Remember that post we had about how our kids are weird? Among other things, the toddlers on our board:
-wore mittens all the time
-carried around a pair of pants as a lovey
-put all toys in a plastic purse and hoarded it all day
-snuck socks behind their crib in order to save all of them (that would be mine)
Anyone else, can you remind me of the adorably weird things our kids are/were doing?
Anyway, I worry too about autism, especially because he was late to clap, wave and talk. But now things are working out, so you really need to enjoy!
Ahaha I forgot how adorably quirky our kids are.
Ginny DX 21-Hydroxylase Deficiency Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia
Charlie DX Specific Antibody Deficiency & ASD
On the weirdness note, my 3.5 yr old spends a large portion of the day making "gates". With shoelaces from his lacing cards. He makes them alllll over the living room, obsessively. However, he wants us to play with him and pay tolls to go through his gates, so I don't think autism, just a Freaking weirdo. I love it!
My kid loves to spin in circles, flails around everywhere, and does weird ass things all the time. He turns his cup upside down and balances other things on top of it. I think mine seems intelligent because of these things. Completely normal toddler behavior. When I filled out the autism screening at the pedi and it asked if he "wandered aimlessly", I said, "Don't all toddlers wander aimlessly?" The nurse laughed and was like, "Yeah, but you know, like for extended periods of time, or, you know what we mean!" I did know what she meant, but I also have a degree in early childhood and elementary education! I could see that screening tool causing undue stress for some parents! The idea behind the screenings is that you continously see these behaviors or patterns of behaviors over an extended period of time and usually they will have huge social and developmental gaps. One thing here and there that stops is not generally "austism"; kids are just super weird 98% of the time. I get to go back to a first grade classroom in a few weeks and I guarantee there will be at least one perfectly normal child who does something like sit under their desk and bark at me for at least a week. Kids.are.weird.
If your pedi and all your friends with early childhood experience say nothing is wrong, and you have self-proclaimed anxiety, I really think maybe you just need some time to relax. Get out, have a drink, take that pill. Maybe some counseling? Sometimes mama intution is right on and sometimes we just worry a lot about our babies for no reason. I hope his evaluation calms you down and lets you quit worrying so much.
I haven't met him, but I have to say YOUR CHILD IS FINE.
Out of curiosity, what are "all of the red flags" for autism so I can know more specifically about whether or not my son has done them?
Here's what I can say --
DS used to play with vehicles by just spinning the wheels (not driving them), which is supposedly an autistic thing to do. But now he drives them everywhere.
DS spins in circles sometimes, or walks in circles.
DS has done weird things with his hands -- even weird gestures near the face -- before. This wasn't just a phase because he does it every now and again for the past 8+ mo.
DS did something like the bread plate story you told with his play tea set. i.e., he was not using the plates properly.
So...my son has done all of those things. And there is zero evidence he is autistic. Very social, friendly, happy, hitting milestones on mark, etc.
Honestly if your son has scored "above average" on a social skills test, he is fine.
I think everything you have said is normal, weird toddler behavior. However, it getting him evaluated will ease your mind, then do it.
Lol..some of those things make me laugh!
Aiden does some of that too - when playing outside he will sometimes go back to the side door to see his reflection in the mirror and march super fast in place and laugh at himself doing it.
Everyone told me that all toddlers are weird, and I guess I just thought maybe people were trying to make me feel better. It's good to hear other stories!
I feel out of breath just reading your post - I can imagine you hyperventilating as you type!
I am not an expert in autism, but I think OSC put things very well.
My DS spins & yells, "SPINNN!" when he does it, lol. He lines up sippy cups on the coffee table & does other weird stuff.
I've never heard of the spinning a plate thing, so I can't comment on that.
Here are the 14 markers for autism:
The 14 Signs Of Autism
May avoid eye contact
May prefer to be alone
Echos words or phrases
Difficulty interacting with others
Spins objects or self
Insistence on sameness
Inappropriate attachements to objects
Inappropriate laughing or giggling
May not want cuddling
Difficulty in expressing needs; may use gestures
Inappropriate response or no response to sound
No real fear of dangers
Apparent insensitivity to pain
Sustained unusual or repetitive play' uneven physical or verbal skills
My son was diagnosed with PDD-NOS on the autism spectrum in April and has had about 7 of these consistently.
OP if you ever want to talk, feel free to PM me. There are so many well-meaning friends/mamas/people that will say "your son is fine" but if you are concerned, get it checked out. It's your job as a mama to advocate for your son. But if/when the experts tell you that he's fine, try to stop worrying.
My little man at 0-1-2
haha yeah, mine is OCD about crumbs or anything dirtying his hands. And freaked out about a puddle on our patio. Now he can say, "mess", so he points to his mess & yells "mess!" repeatedly. He is also OCD about shutting off lights, the a/c & the tv when we leave the house or even his room to go downstairs, etc.