April 2012 Moms

Sh*t parents say ...

Since having kids, sometimes I hear things coming out of my mouth ... combinations of words that should never go together. Have any of you (or your SO) had to say weird things since becoming parents? My highlights:

Sometime last year, my husband called me at work and said: "Please talk your daughter out of sticking barrettes in her vagina."

Me, to my husband this week, after we had to get a urine sample from the baby: "Did you put the pee in the fridge?"

 

Re: Sh*t parents say ...

  • "Oh look, there's poop in my hair."
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  • All I have so far is, "That booty smells like hot garbage" but shes only 12 weeks old.
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  • "We don't put poop hands in our mouth!"
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  • imageButterbrot:

    Since having kids, sometimes I hear things coming out of my mouth ... combinations of words that should never go together. Have any of you (or your SO) had to say weird things since becoming parents? My highlights:

    Sometime last year, my husband called me at work and said: "Please talk your daughter out of sticking barrettes in her vagina."

    Me, to my husband this week, after we had to get a urine sample from the baby: "Did you put the pee in the fridge?"


     

    oh, I LOLed from that. The fact that I am now almost okay with being covered in spitup and not always being able to shower everyday. I tell myself, well, I did yesterday, so I'm fine today.
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  • oh gosh, I really need to write them down when they come up. Definitely a lot about playing with your penis.
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  • ToraniTorani member
    To my toddler: "Finish your dinner or no bath."  Who would have though a bath was a reward?
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  • Just from this week alone. 

    "Kalvin, don't eat the mulch." "Rocks are not for eating." and a personally favorite, "Joey's food is for Joey not for Kalvin".  Oh there's "Stop playing with the dog's water." and "Kalvin, Joey was eating his dinner. You can't grab him by the collar and pull him away from his food. He's going to eat you and I'm gonna tell you I told you so."

     

    Sorry no paragraphs, bumping from my phone.
    I once had a picture until the trolls showed up.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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    TTC #1 7/08 PCOS dx 8/28/04 Met 1000 mg and Clomid cycles 1-4 1/6/09-5/2/09 BFN
    Clomid 100mg 6/4/09=O'd=BFP on 6/29/09! Beta@14DPO 70.8 Beta@16DPO 152. EDD 3/7/10.
    First u/s on 7/13/09 @6w0d heard and saw heartbeat 102 bpm.
    K M #1 arrived via c/s 3/1/10 10 lbs, 22 inches long at 39 weeks.

    Surprise expecting #2. Med-free BFP on 8/1/11! Beta@15DPO 58.2 Beta@17DPO 198.3 Beta@23DPO 2338. EDD 4/9/12
    K M #2 arrived via c/s 3/19/12 9 lbs 2 oz, 21 inches long at 37 weeks.
    "If we weren't all crazy we would go insane."
  • Since we are thisclose to potty training I can only imagine I will be saying: "We don't paint on your sister with poop. Poop is not for painting."

     

    Sorry no paragraphs, bumping from my phone.
    I once had a picture until the trolls showed up.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    TTC #1 7/08 PCOS dx 8/28/04 Met 1000 mg and Clomid cycles 1-4 1/6/09-5/2/09 BFN
    Clomid 100mg 6/4/09=O'd=BFP on 6/29/09! Beta@14DPO 70.8 Beta@16DPO 152. EDD 3/7/10.
    First u/s on 7/13/09 @6w0d heard and saw heartbeat 102 bpm.
    K M #1 arrived via c/s 3/1/10 10 lbs, 22 inches long at 39 weeks.

    Surprise expecting #2. Med-free BFP on 8/1/11! Beta@15DPO 58.2 Beta@17DPO 198.3 Beta@23DPO 2338. EDD 4/9/12
    K M #2 arrived via c/s 3/19/12 9 lbs 2 oz, 21 inches long at 37 weeks.
    "If we weren't all crazy we would go insane."
  • "don't put chicken nuggets in your pocket" said to my stepson when he was 8.
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  • In the last week I've had to say "let's only wear our own underwear" and "please keep your face to yourself"
    Married 7.9.05
    DD1 9.24.06
    DS 7.1.08
    twins due 9.7.11 lost twin A at
    DD2 4.7.12
  • Today DH said "She's got poop in her goods"
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