Post-Op Appointment

buckeyebaby814 · July 2012

I met with my RE today to go over my surgery results from two weeks ago. As he told my husband, things went really well, but the ectopic was so small that he had to inject dye into my tubes to locate it since it wasn't bulging out of my tube like last time.

He also told me the same thing he told my husband- he recommends IVF as our safest route to parenthood. He said he's not against us trying again on our own, or even with treatments (lovenox, follistim, trigger, TI) if we chose. He said we would be on high alert if I did get pregnant again for another ectopic of course. He also said if I had another ectopic we would need to remove the affected tube.

The way I'm feeling right now, is I am willing to risk losing a tube- or both. I know this may sound bizarre, but when thinking about it we have two options. 1) Try on our own and possibly lose a tube or 2) Do not try on our own, save like hell to finance IVF and we won't even use my tubes. I figure it's not like I'll be 'saving my tubes for later', it'll either work or it won't, KWIM?

So much to digest and just feeling so hopeless and heartbroken right now. I never in a million years pictured this would be my life. We can't even consider trying again until the end of September due to the mtx shot so we have time to decide.

MandaS08 · July 2012

I understand being faced with that choice. And it sucks.

Take some time to heal and think about things-I know how I feel one day might not be the way I feel a month laster.

One way to look at it is if you try on your own and it happens again-you will know the tube absolutely has to come out-and it won't be a choice anymore. You just have to decide if you heart can handle another loss.

mikeANDjen448 · July 2012

I'm so sorry sweetie! I totally get your logic..... Hopefully time will give you the answer that is best for you.... (((hugs)))

buckeyebaby814 · July 2012

MandaS08:
I understand being faced with that choice. And it sucks.

Take some time to heal and think about things-I know how I feel one day might not be the way I feel a month laster.

One way to look at it is if you try on your own and it happens again-you will know the tube absolutely has to come out-and it won't be a choice anymore. You just have to decide if you heart can handle another loss.

I'm not quite sure where my brain is these days... I was only thinking tube loss- not all that went along with another ectopic. I just feel so overwhelmed right now. It's not like our RE is waiting on pins and needles to hear our decision, I don't know why I put this type of pressure on myself.

delino · July 2012

Well...your logic is EXACTLY what we are thinking. Except that my doctor will treat me with MTX unless that fails. So, you and I can be "let's hope and pray our tubes work" buddies. Sorry if it sounds like I'm making light of the situation...I know it's a horrible place that I wish neither of us were in. I can have ectopic after and ectopic and insurance will pay, but they wont pay for one f**** cycle of IVF. Anyway, I know you have your wait period from the MTX which can be daunting in itself. I'm here for you.

buckeyebaby814 · July 2012

delino:
Well...your logic is EXACTLY what we are thinking. Except that my doctor will treat me with MTX unless that fails. So, you and I can be "let's hope and pray our tubes work" buddies. Sorry if it sounds like I'm making light of the situation...I know it's a horrible place that I wish neither of us were in. I can have ectopic after and ectopic and insurance will pay, but they wont pay for one f**** cycle of IVF. Anyway, I know you have your wait period from the MTX which can be daunting in itself. I'm here for you.

It doesn't sound like you're making light at all. Isn't it so effed up that insurance will pay for meds/ surgery to fix ectopics, but not IVF?! Ughhhhh. I hate that either of us are even having to consider these choices!

[Deleted User] · July 2012

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VikingQueen · July 2012

((hugs))

Laurakat81 · July 2012

I think I'd probably feel exactly the same way about the tubes as you do. And I hate that you're feeling so hopeless and hurt. It's just not fair that you're dealing with this. Take your time to decide what is best for you. Sending tons of prayers your way! ((((HUGE HUGS))))

mundayem · July 2012

siggy

I'm so sorry you have to deal with this at all hon. Take some time to process before you make any decisions. Huge big squishy hugs

CashewsMommy · July 2012

Oh hun. I am so sorry for all that you're going through. What a hard decision for you guys, I know whatever choices you make, it'll be worth it!

KGS2003 · July 2012

I wish none of us had to be faced with these hard choices. I wish you peace in whatever you choose. (((Hugs)))

jenn0021 · July 2012

MrsErinH:

It sounds like you have a difficult choice to make...I'm sure it will help to have some time to think about things. I'm so sorry that this has been such a long and difficult road for you...I hope that in the coming weeks and months you will feel more hopeful. It sounds like you have a great doctor, and I'm sure that you will get your rainbow baby someday. ((((hugs))))

This.

I'm so sorry BEB. I hate that this is your life and I wish I could make it better for you.

buckeyebaby814 · July 2012

jenek0213:
PetraStonegirl:
I'm so sorry. Take your time to decide. The proper solution will present itself once you have time to let go and process all that has happened to you. (((HUGS)))
Petra is very wise woman ^^^^
I will offer my *hugs* hun... I'm sorry you have to make this choice.
You may talk to your insurance... once I showed mine how much money they were pouring into miscarriage after miscarriage - they covered my IVF procedure.
*HUGS*

Interesting... did your medical clearly state 'IUI/IVF not covered'? Because mine does. Just my two surgeries alone have cost near $30,000... not to mention the $1000s they've paid for b/w, testing, medications and treatments. I do know all meds for IVF (unless I'm on a protocol that I've not googled) are covered... however, if they're in conjunction with IVF I'm not sure if they'll still cover it.

I also need to find out if there's complications from IVF (OHSS, another loss, another surgery) if they will cover that too since it would be related to IVF. It clearly states any complications related to weight loss surgery is not covered, but does not say anything about complications of IVF, so I'm hopeful.

I just need to call my REs financial consultant. Part of me wants to right now and the other part of me is terrified to hear nothing is covered.

buckeyebaby814 · July 2012

jenek0213:
buckeyebaby814:
jenek0213:
PetraStonegirl:
I'm so sorry. Take your time to decide. The proper solution will present itself once you have time to let go and process all that has happened to you. (((HUGS)))
Petra is very wise woman ^^^^
I will offer my *hugs* hun... I'm sorry you have to make this choice.
You may talk to your insurance... once I showed mine how much money they were pouring into miscarriage after miscarriage - they covered my IVF procedure.
*HUGS*
Interesting... did your medical clearly state 'IUI/IVF not covered'? Because mine does. Just my two surgeries alone have cost near $30,000... not to mention the $1000s they've paid for b/w, testing, medications and treatments. I do know all meds for IVF (unless I'm on a protocol that I've not googled) are covered... however, if they're in conjunction with IVF I'm not sure if they'll still cover it.
I also need to find out if there's complications from IVF (OHSS, another loss, another surgery) if they will cover that too since it would be related to IVF. It clearly states any complications related to weight loss surgery is not covered, but does not say anything about complications of IVF, so I'm hopeful.
I just need to call my REs financial consultant. Part of me wants to right now and the other part of me is terrified to hear nothing is covered.
IVF was not a covered benefit except "by appeal". Basically - had to make a case for IVF. I was denied 3 times and just kept appealing and fighting until I found someone with a heart at the benefits bureau. Even then - they had a administrative review of my case and eventually gave me the benefits.
I totaled the cost of all my pregnancies that led no where... I also included research on how multiple D&Cs can lead to an incompetent cervix which can jeopardize future successful pregnancies and that repeated D&Cs could also increase risk of Asherman's syndrome. I have the research to back those up with statistics - if you ever need!
I also talked about therapy and mental health bills increasing with the depression and anxiety related to repeat miscarriages.
Basically - I showed my insurance company how it was going to cost them a HELLUVA lot more money to NOT do IVF....
I'd ask your insurance about an appeals or special circumstances process where you could fight to get IVF covered?

Good luck sweetie! Don't stop fighting! It will be worth it!

I am not sure if I could get my insurance company to go for this but it is absolutely worth fighting for! I will likely be asking for the research you've done if this is the route we take. Thank you!

luvmyducks · July 2012

((hugs)) That is a lot to think about. But I for sure get your reasoning on wanting to try again before IVF.

Gregermis · July 2012

((((hugs))))

psychmajormom · July 2012

I'm so sorry you and DH are being faced with a tough choice. I pray yall can figure out what's best for yall. ((((huge hugs))))

Rawr08 · July 2012

That must be a hard choice to make. I totally get where you are coming from though. I hope the next fews months will help you & DH make the choice that is right for you.

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