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if your 3.5 y/o is potty trained...

snowflakemomsnowflakemom member
in Pre-School and Daycare

Do you still regularly ask/tell them to go potty or do they consistently either go on their own or tell you when they have to go?

I am getting frustrated with DD#2 because she will do great if she is near me - either I can see her start to wiggle and I'll suggest a quick potty break or else she will just tell me she has to go and run in to her potty - no big deal. However, lately if she is either outside playing or playing downstairs with DD#1 (or by herself) - they get really engrossed in what their doing and she will not go (even though there is a bathroom downstairs and she has no other problems using it). Do I just need to be more vigilant about checking in with her when she has to go? I guess the answer would be yes. I guess I'm mainly wondering how good your 3.5 y/o is at initiating the potty break vs. being told it's time for one.

Our other issue is that she refuses to go poop on the potty. What I don't get is that when she first really started getting the hang of PTing, she did poop a few times on the potty but now she does a great job of going pee but every day (or every other day - depending on when she goes) she poops in her underwear. I'm getting so tired of changing poopy underwear. I know she knows how to go on the potty, and when I ask her why she goes in her underwear she has no reason and then tells me she will poop on the potty next time (which she never does). I have tried completely ignoring the issue - not saying anything and just cleaning it up with a simple "remember poop goes in the potty, not our underwear" to bribing, etc. and nothing works. Also, when she poops she will pretty much sit or walk around with it in her underwear and it doesn't really bother her - she doesn't come tell me that she has gone or anything.

 Any advice?

ETA: Sorry that go so long! I also wanted to add that in September she will be starting preschool (it is 2.5hrs in the morning) and I'm getting concerned that she'll still be pooping in her pants at that point and they must be fully trained in order to enroll.

Mom to DD#1 December '06, DD#2 Feb '09 and DS March '12
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Re: if your 3.5 y/o is potty trained...

  • the_jackpotthe_jackpot member
    My son will wait until the last second if he is playing. I just remind him if I think it has been a long time. As for pooping, is there a general time when she poops? If so, I would mention it to her in that time frame. Just keep encouraging her and try not to get too discouraged as she is still so young. 
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  • septemberdreamsseptemberdreams

    My DS is 5 and I still make him go sometimes.  But definitely for the first year +, I always reminded him or had him go at specific times.

    My DS pooped in his underwear twice.  Both times I made him clean it up and putting the poop in the potty and rinse out the underwear (although I did throw the underwear away after he "cleaned) it) and himself.  We did have tears and resistance but he eventually did it.  I told him it was just easier to go in the potty.  He didn't have any fear of it and we didn't have any problems after that.

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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    My DD is great and always has been, my BFFs DD is 4.5 and has issues, all kids are different. 
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • KathrynMDKathrynMD member

    its about 50/50 at our house - with her remembering and me reminding her.  I rarely tell her she "has" to go, but I will say "you should probably go potty so you don't have an accident and have to change underpants/dress, etc." or "remember when you had an accident yesterday/last week, etc."  If we are somewhere out and about and we'll be far from a bathroom, I'll say "we're going to be far from a bathroom, so you need to tell me as soon as you need to go so we don't have an accident."

    Whe she does have an accident, she's embarrassed on her own, so I don't make a big deal about it, but I don't help much either.

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  • mrsseguinmrsseguin member
    I don't ask DS if he needs to go anymore, he will go on his own.  The only time I tell him to go is before we leave the house to go somewhere.  If he is playing outside, he'll hold it for a lot longer and when he does go, it's a lot.  He will eventually stop what he's doing and go pee, he's never had an accident while he was awake.
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  • TeamK07TeamK07 member

    DS generally goes on his own. I will prompt him before we leave the house to try or if I notice some of his pee signals.

    I would try having your LO help you clean up her underwear. So she takes some responsibility and sees if she had just used the potty then she wouldn't have to take all this extra time cleaning up. Also, what about doing a special underwear shopping trip with her and let her pick out what she wants. Then talk it up how she is going to keep them clean ....

     Just a thought! Good luck! 

    DS 3.7.09
    mm/c 5.3.10 at 10 weeks
    DD 4.1.11
    mm/c 9.25.12 at 11 weeks
    c/p 3.20.13
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  • ilovemygirlsilovemygirls member

    First of all, remember she's only 3.5- it's a pretty new thing for her!  Some kids need reminding- but I learned to *never* ask "Do you need to go potty?"  Because they will almost always say no.  I would say "It's time to go potty".  My youngest PT'd (pretty much on her own) right around the time she turned 2, but she had periodic accidents well into her 4th year.  My oldest PT'd at 2.5 & maybe had 2 accidents ever.  btw at preschool they have regular potty breaks- it will be totally fine.  

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  • kpips20kpips20 member

    DS never (and I really mean never) tells me when he has to go. If left on his own, he's perfectly happy to wet himself and keep playing. So I've just gotten into the habit and having him go at specific times throughout the day (before every meal, before we leave the house or play outside, and I ask as soon as we get into a store). That being said, when asked if he's potty trained and always say no, b/c as far as I'm concerned if he can't tell me when he has to go at least some of the time, he's not trained. The only success we've had is with poop. He always poops at the same time every day and so I usually make him sit on the potty then and he'll go. He'll also tell me if he has to poop. It's the pee that's our issue.

    As for preschool, I'm sure they have several potty breaks throughout the class, just make sure that they're making her go during that time. DS will ALWAYS answer no when asked if he has to go so I told his teachers to just tell him it's potty time and that he has to go. I also bring him to the potty as soon as I drop him off.

    HTH. Potty training by far has been the most frustrating part of parenthood so far. I'd seriously pay someone a lot of money to do it for me!

     
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  • meldoo2002meldoo2002 member
    The boys have been potty trained for about a year now.  I tell them to go sometimes... if they are doing the dance and it's been hours since they've gone.  That is typically around dinner and it's been since before nap.. around 12 that they've last gone.  Otherwise they go on their own.  They never have accidents even if they are doing the potty dance it's just that I hate them hurting their bladder by holding it longer.  

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