S/o car insurance (vent)

karleegirl · July 2012

Ds called and asked if it was ok to sell his truck (89 model). Bd bought it and I cover it on insurance so it's in my name. (Ds works odd jobs for gas money and extras.) I said sure as long as you'll have another vehicle by the time school starts. He informed me his dad was going to give him his truck, I'd just need to pay the insurance on it. It's probably worth 20k at least. Ummmm no. I can't even imagine the cost of insurance on that vehicle fOr a 17 yr old. My insurance is already high because I have an accident on there that was my fault. So when I said no ds said " you can just use MY child support, after all it is for me". Bd was in the background saying he didn't know how I never had money since I'm a nurse and he's just a lowly city employee. I just told him I don't have to justify my budget to him or his father but i would not be putting insurance on the new truck. bd should have talked to me before putting ideas in the kid's head. ( sorry for lack of formatting, on my phone).

CFjo2010 · July 2012

Wow. If my child were to ever say "you can use MY child support because it's for me", I'd lose it. I would probably write up a bill for their share of the rent/mortgage, utilities, groceries, clothes I purchased, extra curricular activities, and health insurance and tell them they owe ME. Then I'd tell that 17 year old to get his @ss a job pronto. I cannot believe he talked to you that way, and that BD allowed him to say that to you.

twister22 · July 2012

jobalchak:
Wow. If my child were to ever say "you can use MY child support because it's for me", I'd lose it. I would probably write up a bill for their share of the rent/mortgage, utilities, groceries, clothes I purchased, extra curricular activities, and health insurance and tell them they owe ME. Then I'd tell that 17 year old to get his @ss a job pronto. I cannot believe he talked to you that way, and that BD allowed him to say that to you.

This.

karatechrissy · July 2012

Um, my mom would have put my head through a wall if I ever spoke to her like that. He may be 17, but he needs his a$s whopped. I'd totally make a monthly bill of 'his share' and subtract the CS from it and have it due by the end of the month. I paid rent and all my own stuff once I had a job at 16 1/2. He needs a reality check, quickly.

tlcondon · July 2012

My SKs know once they start driving (which SS just turned 16), that insurance is their responsibility if they want to drive. Now, we did get lucky with SS. DH used to run a wrecker service and we had one vehicle that was towed and never picked up. Its a 2000 Dodge Dakota, so after all the paperwork was done and everything went through the courts, we were able to keep the vehicle. It is not in the best shape, it runs ok, the body is what has it dents and dings, but, hey, for a 16 year old. its just fine. But, SS knows, he is going to have to maintain the insurance on it. He is going to be listed as a secondary driver, cause that will be cheaper, but he is going to have to pay that if he wants to drive it. That has been the agreement all along. Now we dont get CS, from BM, cause SD lives with her and SS lives with us, so everything equals out, but it will be the same with SD, when she starts driving (she is 14).

xmaryrickx · July 2012

Can you pay the same amount you have been paying and DS pay the difference?

It might not be as bad as you think as far as cost increase goes. The newer truck will have a lot of safety features the old car doesn't have. Also, who pays to fix the old car if it dies? You? BD? DS? That could get expensive quickly. I would at least look into it. And yes, what he said is out of line, but he is a selfish teenager who understands you get money for HIM, but he isn't mentally capable enough to realize that money goes towards food, shelter, clothing and other necessities. I would be livid, but try to cut him a break on that one.

karleegirl · July 2012

This is the reason I didn't really want him living with bd this summer. Those were his father's words.(I heard him in the background). My kid is polite and respectful at my house( mam sir etc). I told him he was being disrespectful and hE immediately apologized ( begrudgingly but he did). His dad and sm discuss financial issues with him (salary, mortgage). I don't think that's any of his business.

karleegirl · July 2012

xmaryrickx:
Can you pay the same amount you have been paying and DS pay the difference?

It might not be as bad as you think as far as cost increase goes. The newer truck will have a lot of safety features the old car doesn't have. Also, who pays to fix the old car if it dies? You? BD? DS? That could get expensive quickly. I would at least look into it. And yes, what he said is out of line, but he is a selfish teenager who understands you get money for HIM, but he isn't mentally capable enough to realize that money goes towards food, shelter, clothing and other necessities. I would be livid, but try to cut him a break on that one.

That is a good point. I could continue to pay the same amount. I'm sure his dad would fix the vehicle as he's a mechanic. ** to those that said he should have a job. We don't make him have a job during the school year because he takes honors and college classes. He does 3 hours of homework/study every night. He mows lawns/ does odd jobs on weekends and in the summer. His first priority is school. He needs a vehicle for school because of afterschool activities (honor society and student government). He also occasionally helps with drop off/ pick up of his little brother.

CFjo2010 · July 2012

karleegirl:
xmaryrickx:
Can you pay the same amount you have been paying and DS pay the difference?

It might not be as bad as you think as far as cost increase goes. The newer truck will have a lot of safety features the old car doesn't have. Also, who pays to fix the old car if it dies? You? BD? DS? That could get expensive quickly. I would at least look into it. And yes, what he said is out of line, but he is a selfish teenager who understands you get money for HIM, but he isn't mentally capable enough to realize that money goes towards food, shelter, clothing and other necessities. I would be livid, but try to cut him a break on that one.
That is a good point. I could continue to pay the same amount. I'm sure his dad would fix the vehicle as he's a mechanic. ** to those that said he should have a job. We don't make him have a job during the school year because he takes honors and college classes. He does 3 hours of homework/study every night. He mows lawns/ does odd jobs on weekends and in the summer. His first priority is school. He needs a vehicle for school because of afterschool activities (honor society and student government). He also occasionally helps with drop off/ pick up of his little brother.

I only meant to tell him to get a job due to his disrespectful comment towards you. I know there are a lot of High School kids with tons of activities and it's practically impossible to find decent hours to work. Your son sounds like a really good kid. That comment just really floored me.

lily_721 · July 2012

Wow! I think your XH is filling his head that you have more than enough money for whatever it is that your DS wants. BM used to do this frequently with my boys.

"Its great that BD offered to give you a new truck! Especially since he knows the cost of insurance and obviously this would be part of the gift too! Great job, BD!!!" Of course this is dripping with cheerful sarcasm (all said in front of BD or to BD). I have done this a few times with BM and she eventually stopped.

No one should ever give a gift that has a cost to someone else without discussing it first.

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