2+ moms, baby bonding

WildcatPrincess · July 2012

So you feel like you bonded sooner with one child vs the other? If you have more than 2 how did you feel with each different kid? I have kind of the opposite feelings from what people always say. DD was SUCH a hard baby, we hardly ever slept and she cried more often than not. I always felt guilty because I feel like I didn't really enjoy her until around the 9 month mark.

With DS it has been totally different. He's so laid back and happy. While DD was napping today DS and I were snuggled on the couch and he was talking and laughing and just being adorable and I feel bad because I feel like I like him SO much more than I did DD at this age. The girl didn't give us a giggle until she was 7 months old! And I'm sure the sleep deprivation didn't help. I still had that infatuated "wow this is my baby" feeling, but I don't know. Just two very different experiences.

FusionLMT · July 2012

ditto here, just opposite genders! I am glad I had the "difficult" baby first. If I had had DD first, I wouldn't know WTF was going on. I thought screaming all the time and being up all night for 5 months was the norm. So thankful she is an easy baby! Luckily DS is a super cute and (mostly) happy toddler now. Really hoping DD stays so chill.

jkfranklin · July 2012

I thought DS was easy, but I didn't know what easy was! DD is way better than DS and he wasn't bad at all.

I do feel a bit more bonded with DD just because she likes being held more than DS did. She likes being rocked to sleep while DS liked being bounced to sleep in the bouncy seat. She also is more generous with her smiles than DS was.

katesy21 · July 2012

I had my easy baby first so I feel the opposite of you ladies. DD2 refuses to go to sleep before 11pm and fights her sleep so hard. She isn't content doing anything for any length of time. DD1 was the easiest baby, happy and content in any situation, she didn't have to be put to sleep and was STTN by 2 months. I know I will miss DD2 being little but right now I can't wait for her to grow out of this crappy phase. She is just so difficult to please and so needy so I don't feel the same way about her right now that I did with DD1. I love her but I definitely don't have the same bond yet.

starbound6 · July 2012

Oh yeah, totally - same as you. I've bonded so much faster with the baby.. I'm not stressing and fussing and FTM-ing all over the place. He's an easier baby too, I'm sure for that reason in addition to genetics! I didn't enjoy DS1 nearly as much/enough, unfortunately.

JFH2010 · July 2012

I love the phrase "FTM-ing all over the place." Must use that.

I just hope to god almighty this is my difficult one. If by some cruel cosmic joke I get a second who makes Kai seems easy, I will abandon ship. I should say, he's a great baby most of the time, but sleep is not even on his radar.

MsNessa · July 2012

WildcatPrincess:
So you feel like you bonded sooner with one child vs the other? If you have more than 2 how did you feel with each different kid? I have kind of the opposite feelings from what people always say. DD was SUCH a hard baby, we hardly ever slept and she cried more often than not. I always felt guilty because I feel like I didn't really enjoy her until around the 9 month mark.
With DS it has been totally different. He's so laid back and happy. While DD was napping today DS and I were snuggled on the couch and he was talking and laughing and just being adorable and I feel bad because I feel like I like him SO much more than I did DD at this age. The girl didn't give us a giggle until she was 7 months old! And I'm sure the sleep deprivation didn't help. I still had that infatuated "wow this is my baby" feeling, but I don't know. Just two very different experiences.

Ohhhhhh yes. Definitely. I didn't like DD1 for a long time. I loved her, but didn't really like her. With DD2 I liked her right away. She's way more laid back and easy to like.

It makes me sad that almost all of my time is spent with both LO's and I can't just lay on the bed and nurse and cuddle with DD2. Maybe once DD2 is bigger and I don't have to worry as much about her getting hurt things will be better. Having the three of us close together almost never works well.

Aimes78 · July 2012

I think I bonded with them both pretty quickly, but it's just different, as pp said I miss the one on one time with DS2, but I love him all the more due to the fact that he is so laid back. DS1 was not a sleeper, and I was in a sleep deprived haze for a year but I didn't know any different. I was definitely more obsessive over DS1 but simple because I was scared & tired - maybe it was just an extreme case of "FTM-ing all over the place"!!

Monicagail1 · July 2012

I feel the same as you! DD1 cried a lot, and wasn't easy to soothe. I loved her, but it wasn't until she was at least 4 months old that I really started to "like" her.

DD2 has been the opposite. She's a total mama's girl, naps beautifully, and overall has been tons easier right from the start.

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