s/o weaning: sex related - weirdness about breasts?

[Deleted User] · July 2012

Tilly has been on just formula for about a month now. After I decided not to fight her to nurse anymore, I kept up our morning in-bed nursing session because she would still take it. That stopped after about a month when she would no longer concentrate even in her half-awake stupor.

So it's been a month since I've breastfed, but I'm still weird about H touching my nipples. It just isn't sexy to me anymore. Boob play used to be a big part of our sex life, and I always loved it. Now, even when he touches my breast over my clothes, it feels strange when he grazes my nipple. I pretty much always wear a bra now when we have sex. H is a breast man so I know it must bum him out. We've talked about it, but nothing has changed for me.

Because I weaned from only one session a day, I didn't really do anything to wean except stop nursing. My supply had already adjusted to the one session, and I didn't have any engorgement. The other day I tried to hand express just to see if anything would come out, and I got a few drops, so I guess I haven't dried up completely yet. Maybe this is contributing to my feelings?

Is this just a normal part of getting back to our regular sex life? Is anyone else feeling this way?

If you weaned a while ago, did you have these feelings? Did they go away?

kmart1tm · July 2012

I'm still BFing, but I'm really curious as to others' responses, because I've been having some anxiety over this as well. To clarify, I'm having anxiety that I will never want H to touch my boobs/nipples again once I do wean. When I think about him touching them, I feel the opposite of turned on. Sad

DoctorWorm222 · July 2012

It's gotten a little better for me. It becoming more tolerable, though I can't say I find it sexy.

Ms.Jade · July 2012

I was so sure I was going to feel this way. My breasts are a really big (ha ha) part of our sex life. There was some discussion about this on first tri and despite the stupidity and condescension that usually marked such discussions on that board I learned a valuable lesson. One of the women posted that her hands do lots of different things. Sometimes they are comforting her baby, and sometimes they are um, comforting her husband. They are still her hands, but she uses them from different things. With that in mind I made sure that we included some touching in that area from the beginning - even when I was still nursing. At first it was weird, but now things feel normal.

Shannon526 · July 2012

I still BF, and DH still plays around with my boobs during sex/etc. Like Ms. Jade said, once we were able to have sex, we made sure that DH included my boobs into the foreplay so it wouldn't be wierd after so many months. With that being said, I think I'm pretty good at disassociating (is that the right word?) between using my boobs during sex with DH and using my boobs to feed L... again, how Ms. Jade said, we use our hands for different things all the time :-)

Also, maybe I should save this for tomorrow's FFFC, but I think DH likes that I can "squirt" milk ... I guess I have a crazy H or something.. but hey, he makes me feel comfortable about the fact that milk may be dripping from my nipples while we are having sex Embarrassed

[Deleted User] · July 2012

We didn't avoid my boobs all together during sex, but I did ask him not pay too much attention to my nipples because leaking during sex turned me off. What's funny is that I seem to be even a little more nipple averse now than I was when I was nursing. I know intellectually that I can be a mother and a sex doll (lol), but I have this strange visceral reaction to it. =/

I wonder if I'm regaining some sensitivity and maybe that has a little to do with it, too.

cantalopes24 · July 2012

BFing has not changed boob play for us. I don't leak during sex so it doesn't bother me. The sensation of BFing doesn't remind me of the sensation of MH and I've never really associated the two. I like what PP said about her hands.

ababymaybe · July 2012

I'm still BFing and honestly most days I feel just plain touched out in general. Poor H. I just want to be left alone.

thetheisens · July 2012

cantalopes24:
BFing has not changed boob play for us. I don't leak during sex so it doesn't bother me. The sensation of BFing doesn't remind me of the sensation of MH and I've never really associated the two. I like what PP said about her hands.

Same for me. It doesn't bother me, it's two separate things for me.

KrisM86 · July 2012

thetheisens:
cantalopes24:
BFing has not changed boob play for us. I don't leak during sex so it doesn't bother me. The sensation of BFing doesn't remind me of the sensation of MH and I've never really associated the two. I like what PP said about her hands.
Same for me. It doesn't bother me, it's two separate things for me.

Ditto. The first few times we had sex after having DD, boob play was a little weird for me, but once I got over the initial weirdness it was fine.

memo9 · July 2012

I haven't weaned, but I feel like I may never want DH to touch my boobs again. Which makes him want them more... I hate how they look and I'm terrified of what they may look like when I do wean.

pearblossom · July 2012

It isn't quite weird, but it does absolutely nothing for me. It makes me so sad because boob play used to be my everything. I'm hoping it is just a sensitivity thing.

hunnybunny614 · July 2012

cantalopes24:
BFing has not changed boob play for us. I don't leak during sex so it doesn't bother me. The sensation of BFing doesn't remind me of the sensation of MH and I've never really associated the two. I like what PP said about her hands.

This for me too. Though I've been feeling self conscious because they aren't as full as they used to feel. DH doesn't notice.

preggersin2011 · July 2012

A little late to the party-

I use to work with all men. I overhead a conversation once about beast milk. I had to join in on this conversation because it was way before I had a child and was curious. 9 out of 10 men had tried BM and the odd man out didn't have any children. Over half of the men that had tried BM was during sex and the others was by mistake. One guy confused it with the regular milk and put it in his coffee. I didn't ask how that managed to happen.

Way before LO's father and I fooled around again after L&D he asked if he could try my milk. I looked at him like he was crazy! Then I remembered that conversation I overhead a few years back. Anyways, I got over the BFing LO and nipple leaking issues probably the first time we had sex. I sat up and I leaked all over myself and the sheets and he went and grabbed LO & said "hook up her don't let it go to waste". It was funny but also true. Normal nipple play resumed the next time we had intercourse and I never thought about leaking BM again during sex. After I stopped BFing LO I asked him a question about nipples and my milk and his reply was " you still squirt in my mouth and its been over a month"... men think they are soo funny.

[Deleted User] · July 2012

Oh, that preggers!

pearblossom · July 2012

preggersin2011:
A little late to the party-
I use to work with all men. I overhead a conversation once about beast milk. I had to join in on this conversation because it was way before I had a child and was curious. 9 out of 10 men had tried BM and the odd man out didn't have any children. Over half of the men that had tried BM was during sex and the others was by mistake. One guy confused it with the regular milk and put it in his coffee. I didn't ask how that managed to happen.
Way before LO's father and I fooled around again after L&D he asked if he could try my milk. I looked at him like he was crazy! Then I remembered that conversation I overhead a few years back. Anyways, I got over the BFing LO and nipple leaking issues probably the first time we had sex. I sat up and I leaked all over myself and the sheets and he went and grabbed LO & said "hook up her don't let it go to waste". It was funny but also true. Normal nipple play resumed the next time we had intercourse and I never thought about leaking BM again during sex. After I stopped BFing LO I asked him a question about nipples and my milk and his reply was " you still squirt in my mouth and its been over a month"... men think they are soo funny.

LOLWUT

EloiseWeenieSkipperdee · July 2012

I haven't read the responses, but I'm a boobs off type of gal when nursing.

I remember with my son it took a couple months of going BF free before the boobs were open again. My husband gave my boobs space until I told him it was ok, it was NBD. I had a harder time with my 1st because I didn't realize how sick I would get of being touched (just physical touch, not boob touch) and I just wanted alone time. With my 2nd, I knew what to expect, so I was prepared for holding someone all day long.

It'll probably take me a couple months again once I wean Amelia. It takes me a little bit to change gears. Apparently my boobs can't multitask.

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s/o weaning: sex related - weirdness about breasts?

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