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January 2012 Moms
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Again with MIL and the flucking baptism

SmittyPantsSmittyPants member
in January 2012 Moms

I posted about this before. My MIL wants to have a baptism for my DD. It's a very open church, and if I had to attend a church, I'd probably choose this one. However, I'm an atheist and have no plans whatsoever to start bringing my DD to a church. I thought the matter was put to rest, but today on the phone she mentioned that she purchased a gift for Maeve for her baptism. WTF?! So now I feel like I would be a total biotch if I didn't just go ahead and let her splash some water on the kid's head. 

DH is no help with this. I'd like him to talk to his mom, but I'm feeling like, for the sake of familial peace, I would be better off just sucking it up.

The thing that pisses me off most about this is if I were Jewish or Muslim or had remained a Catholic, I doubt she would be pushing the issue. Why is my being an atheist not worthy of the same respect? 

Blerg. Just needing to vent a bit.  

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Re: Again with MIL and the flucking baptism

  • aboynamedbarryaboynamedbarry member
    that's really annoying :/
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  • phillyfan929phillyfan929 member
    I'm sorry. If you feel strong enough about this don't let her bully you into it! Draw the line now with MIL so this doesn't go on.
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  • theladyjesstheladyjess member

    imagephillyfan929:
    I'm sorry. If you feel strong enough about this don't let her bully you into it! Draw the line now with MIL so this doesn't go on.

    THIS!

     

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  • namara5532namara5532 member
    I'm sorry your MIL is still being like this.  You need to have DH have a talk with her explaining that you don't plan to baptize.  Don't let her pressure you into doing anything with your child you aren't comfortable with.  You're the mama, so you get to make the rules.  As a pagan with Christian relatives, I can understand the pressure to do religious things to 'keep the peace'.  If you want to raise your child atheist, don't let anyone pressure you into doing religious customs you're not comfortable with.
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  • Sascha3Sascha3 member

    I am agnostic. 

    My in laws religion baptizes as adults so not worried about that but not looking forward to the church issue.

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  • SmittyPantsSmittyPants member
    Yeah, I think you're all right. She's coming over tonight to watch the baby before my DH gets home from work so I can go to my book club. I think I'll have a chat with her then, and try to explain my position in as nice a way as possible. I'll keep you posted ladies. Thanks
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  • jodywelshjodywelsh
    I would tell her it is a decision you want your child to make when he/she is older and capable of making it for themselves. Like PP said, some churches want you to wait until you can make that decision for yourself.
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  • eklangereklanger member

    imagelilnightmusic:
    This might be more of a UO but you could always have her baptized out of respect to your ILs.  We had our baby blessed in the mormon church out of respect- it didn't mean anything to me but it was really special to them.  For someone who doesn't subscribe to religion what is baptism more than a little sprinkle of water?

    For me, baptism is an expression of your intent, as a parent, to raise your child in that religion so I don't feel right doing it even to appease MIL.  obs it isn't binding, but why do it if it's just a gesture. 

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  • footnotegirlfootnotegirl member

    A simple "That's very nice of you, but we are not baptizing our daughter." No need to be confrontational, just be calm but consistent.

    I am very lucky that my MiL is an atheist. My own mom would probably like to have our LO baptized, but we made our feelings on that clear when we told her we were pregnant and she understood, and has not pushed it at all.

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