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Single Parents
septmom11
member
Stressed
septmom11
member
I live in a very HCOL area. My salary is not enough to do anything but i make too much to qualify for any single mother assistance from the government, I also have never recieved a child support payment. Stressing out. I feel like i am never gonig to get ahead and i am stuck. I want the best life for my child and myself but it is seeming impossible!!!
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Re: Stressed
I totally understand your situation...becasue I am in the same one. I am crossing my fingers that next week it will change, I have a CS hearing, so hoping for a bit of help. But even if I didn't get it, I will still make things work.
While I will say, we don't have much left at the end of the month, we are still pretty happy. I have found lots of "free" things for me and the LO to do and I have gotten very creative with my budget. I save so much money on groceries now, when I was married we spent (or better said, wasted) so much on food, but if you really shop and shop the right places, you can save a ton. I also have saved a lot on clothing for LO and myself, between end of season clearance, coupons, and thirft stores (especially for LO's stuff, most of it is still new looking because they don't wear it very long). Honestly, I have a TON less income now than when I was married, but far better off, becasue I spend wisely and the X spent like it was water - on himself.
One thing I have learned is to save a bit of money each pay...you will be surprised how fast even a little bit will add up. And if there is something big coming up, like a birthday, I start to save early, a little bit at a time, and stick to a budget.
You can do it, you will stress, always, but you can do it, and still "have the best life". One thing I have been reminded of is what life was like when I was a kid and that the simple things in life matter. Life isn't about brand names and fancy things, its about family and being a good person. I remind myself of that everyday and it really helps.
Completely understand!!! I Had to live with my parents again and now that I live with my fiance I still can't pay my half of the bills and I hate that!
Like you, I make too much to get help, but don't receive a dime of child support! I have to pay for daycare which is so expensive and my car payment. I have tried to refinance my car yet my credit sucks. I feel like I am stuck too until I can get my car paid off because I know I will never see a penny from my ExH.
I def know how you feel...sigh
That stress will come and go, you just have to figure out the best way to manage it. I know that isn't probably the answer you want to hear, but it's true. Honestly, I just take it one day at a time. Who knows where we might live in 5 years, or what job we might have, or what life might throw at us. Just take one day at a time.
My LO is only about a month older than your LO, and I think sometimes it seems like it is even more overwhelming when you have a baby...they seem to have so many more expenses (diapers, formula, etc, etc). Not to mention you pay the most for daycare. But I celebrate the little victories with that...she just turned one, so daycare is a little cheaper, no more formula...the little things help me relax a bit.
When I get all freaked out and think I am not the best mommy because I can't provide the what I think is the best to her, I take one look at my little girl and see her big smile and realize I am a good mommy and she is happy and healthy.