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Blended Families
Valeriam
member
evil for assignimg chores
Valeriam
member
The ongoing dispute between husband and I --
Me- kids should do chores (at least a couple of days a week) during summer vaca and on weekends during school time. By chores I mean dusting blinds, washing windows, sweeping, mopping, cleaning the bathroom- not all in one day but spread out. (SSt is 14yrs)
Husband- kids should enjoy summer. Will give a couple of chores and he'll do them by tomorow. And told his son I said he was an awful parent because he didn't beat him like a slave and made him do chores right then and there.
I hardly hardly think having your kid do chores is comparable to beating them nor do I feel it is harmful or detrimental to their future. Or am I wrong here? My SS has been used to everyone catering to his every need and want and now in our house- chores is soemthing everyone does including my 7 yr old who started when she was 5. But this kid has mowed the lawn 2x this year, washed windows 1x, dusted blinds maybe 5x and swept and mopped about the same. I hardly think this is slave status but husband just can't handle asking his poor son to lift a finger.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: evil for assignimg chores
I certainly don't think you're wrong at all.
My DH and I just discussed chores last night. We agreed that kids need to have responsibility in the homes they inhabit to become good stewards of the things they use and own. DH had employees under him at work who didn't know how to do things for themselves and ended up getting let from their jobs because "their mom always did that". So I think it would a disservice to his son not to give him some sort of responsibility to help out in his family unit. He's also a part of your family and should have the same expectations like every other family member. So the slave comment seems a bit over the top.
My 6 yr old SS has (age appropriate) chores. I definitely do not think you are out of line at all in expecting them to be done. Hell, my mom used my sister and I to do all the cleaning in the house by the time I was 13. I laugh at the not during school part. I don't think it's the end of the world to expect a 14 yr old to do a set portion of chores. My 2 yr old has chores. She cleans up the toys in the playroom every night before bed, puts her own bath toys away, and if she gets her hands on baby wipes my kitchen floor gets scrubbed (haha on the last one). I sincerely think that lax of parenting an expectations is what is ruining our future generations. Our teens today are entitled, lazy sh*t heads. And it's their parents fault.
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"Karma1969: If baking someone a birthday pie/cake is romantic, I must be a slut."
Kids need to do chores!
That's partially what's wrong in society today. We live in a townhouse and my boys are responsible for the whole downstairs. I don't say who has to do the dishes and who has to vacuum, just that it has to be done. Very diplomatically, they have assigned chores to themselves. My downstairs is always clean, summer vacation or school year, and my husband and I don't do any of it. I had chores growing up and because of this I am a productive member of society today. I don't feel that chores are a bad thing for kids. My kids are done in less than an hour a day. That's certainly not asking too much! It's their job to keep the downstairs clean and our job to pay the bills!
My SD is 9 and has a list of 5 chores she must do regularly (make her bed, put her laundry in the laundry basket, pick up all toys/books/clothes/shoes out of common areas, clear her dishes after a meal, and dust her room 1x week). And man did my MIL think I was the devil when DH and I instituted this policy.
But, you know what, my SD really enjoys having responsibilities. She'll tell me and DH "I made my bed today" and it gives us the opportunity to praise her.
We save bigger chores as opportunities for her to earn spending money. So if we're getting ready to go on vacation and she wants souvenier money she can clean windows, mop the bathroom/kitchen/her room, clean the cabinet faces in the kitchen ... etc... for a certain dollar amount.
Your H is doing his son a disservice. In 4 years he will be expecting independence, but he will be unable to take care of himself. And that is a cruel slap in the face.