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Adoption
Adoption party / baby shower ideas!
A couple that is very close to me & my husband are going through the adoption process. They might have children in their home as early as August!
I don't know anyone else who is adopted or has adopted but you ladies seem really awesome, so I hope you can answer my question.
I really REALLY want to throw a "shower" for my friends! They have NO kid stuff, clothes, toys, etc. and I thought it would be fun to throw a "welcome to parenthood" thing 
Here's my question:
1. Is this weird?
2. I'm assuming that it would have to be without the kids there as it might be too stressful for them to meet a lot of people at once. Is that true or would it be rude to leave them out?
3. Just some advice would be great. Have you done this or been to one...do you have any ideas or webpages I should look up?
Can't wait to hear what you all think!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Adoption party / baby shower ideas!
1. No
2. It depends. You can time it so that it's after they come and settle in for a while. Or you can do it beforehand if they have a specific age range they're looking at
3. I can only speak to ours. We adopted a newborn, and we had it when she was 7 weeks old. It was like a typical shower, just with a baby already there. I think in your case you have one of 2 options: 1) throw a shower before they have kids in their home, and focus on basics and gender-neutral stuff; or 2) have a party later in the process that's less shower-y and more of a party with gifts/attention on the kids vs the parents.
No, it is not weird at all. It is totally appropriate. In fact, I applaud you for doing this. As someone who is adopting an older child, I appreciate that you are doing this for your friends. A lot of people have made rude comments about having a shower for an 11-year old. As it sounds the situation is for your friends, this is also our first child.
If they are not infants, I would not include the children. It can be overwhelming for them and may feel like they are on display.
It is so sweet of you to want to do this for your friend!
If I were your friend I would probably want a shower before the kids arrive, but you should ask your friend what she prefers. She may already have everything she needs, but if not (or even if she has) she may register for a few things (if she's getting a baby/younger child(ren)) that she needs or wants, so the guests of the shower will have an idea of what will be most useful to her family.
It sounds like they will be adopting siblings who are older kids. I don't know how much older or the gender yet.
I'm just really excited to start planning this but I think I'll just have to wait and see until I get more information.
Thanks for commenting and reassuring me that this is a good idea
I'll let you know how it goes, probably not for a couple months.
Echoing others...No, not weird! I threw a shower for a friend after they received the specific referral (International Adoption).
We had two showers (one where I grew up and one where we live), both after we brought our newborn son home. I didn't want a shower until afterwards. They were both like other baby showers attended with the added bonus ;-) of everyone getting to meet our son. He was 6 weeks and 2 months at each event.
So nice of you to do this for them!
not weird :-) we're adopting a 20 month old little boy from Korea, who should be here in August or early september.
even though he's not a "baby"-baby, he still needs a lot of stuff- stroller, bedding, booster seat for the kitchen table, car seats, toddler plates, bowls, etc....
our credit card was doing triple reward points in May, and we were excited to get started- so we bought most of the stuff ourselves while we could get the extra rewards. so we already have pretty much all of the necessities.
BUT my mom and my sister still want to throw us a "shower"- as a toddler, he'll need toys to play with and more clothes... but i think it'll be more of a celebration/welcome to parenthood thing than anything. Since we're not sure when we'll be going, and my sister is going on vacation soon for 10 days- my mom kind of decided to wait until after he's here. Once we have the date that we're going, she'll start planning the party. I may or may not bring him when we have it. You're right that it can be really overwhelming for older kids to meet a lot of people at once. so i'll play it by ear and see how he's doing at that point.
This isn't weird at all! And I think it is awesome that you would like to host one!
We had two showers in preparation for becoming foster parents. That gave us the clothes and the rest of the basics so that we were set when we welcomed children into our home.
If you aren't set on it being a surprise, I would just talk to the couple and see what they would like as far as the details go! I'm sure they will be excited about your generousity!
As far as themes....If she happens to like super heros, you can do a "Superman was adopted too" theme.
2. Ask your friends what they would like to do. They may not know right now what will work. We're adopting a toddler or preschooler internationally and if anyone offers to a host a party, we'll request a party before we leave, because life will be crazy for a few months after we get home, and less predictable.
A co-worker adopted a six-year-old from foster care and we threw a shower for her. Her husband brought their son over to say hello, but they didn't stay long.
Son #2 - October '11
Son #3 - Hoping to adopt from China some time in 2014!
Our adoption journey: Talkin' 'Bout the Next Generation