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Gentle Discipline with a strong-willed child

RandiDeeAnnRandiDeeAnn
in Attachment Parenting
**Sorry for formatting, iPad. So, unfortunately we were late to the gentle disciple method. DD1 is seriously strong-willed. She is 2.5. I've had discipline problems with her since she was able to defy me. I'm not proud of it, but the yelling and punishments that weren't working have to stop. She doesn't listen or mind. I was at church last night and prayed for some help with her. Well, one of my friends pinned an article about strong-willed children. It really resonated more than anything else I've read about gentle discipline. So that was a long intro to say that things went GREAT today with her, but I'm having a little trouble with teaching about natural consequences v. punishments. I can't come up with something for everything. For example, we just moved her back into our bed (with the new baby in the house it works better for her), but she wouldn't actually go to sleep tonight. What do you do when there isn't something to say xyz will happen if we don't do abc? It was easy to get her to come in from playing outside, usualy WW3, when she understood a storm was coming. But what about when I just need her to, or she just needs to?
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Re: Gentle Discipline with a strong-willed child

  • nfrtnynfrtny member
    Could you maybe tell her "if you don't go to sleep when mommy asks you to, then you're not going to be allowed to sleep in our bed"? 
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  • pixieprincsspixieprincss member

    Here are two idea that can help you. It takes awhile to get into the habit...

    Setting expectations:
    DD, now is the time to get out your very last wiggles, In one minute, it is time to start laying still.

    DD, it is time to come inside in three minutes, Pick the last think you want to do....ok one minute left,...

    Offering livable options (to you)
    It is time to lay down and be still. Would you like to do that in our bed or in your own bed? A non-answer or continuing to wiggle means you decide for her and explain that her actions have made the choice for her.

    We need to go inside soon. You have enough time for three big pushes on the swing or to fill up one more bucket in the sandbox. Which do you want to do?

    There is so much more (like creating a yes enviornment, understanding what natural consquences even are, figuring how to be positive without being over-permissive, utilizing empathy, etc.), but luckily others have said it better (and with more experience) than me...here is a great website I came across recently: https://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/discipline

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  • RandiDeeAnnRandiDeeAnn
    imagepixieprincss:

    Here are two idea that can help you. It takes awhile to get into the habit...

    Setting expectations:
    DD, now is the time to get out your very last wiggles, In one minute, it is time to start laying still.

    DD, it is time to come inside in three minutes, Pick the last think you want to do....ok one minute left,...

    Offering livable options (to you)
    It is time to lay down and be still. Would you like to do that in our bed or in your own bed? A non-answer or continuing to wiggle means you decide for her and explain that her actions have made the choice for her.

    We need to go inside soon. You have enough time for three big pushes on the swing or to fill up one more bucket in the sandbox. Which do you want to do?

    There is so much more (like creating a yes enviornment, understanding what natural consquences even are, figuring how to be positive without being over-permissive, utilizing empathy, etc.), but luckily others have said it better (and with more experience) than me...here is a great website I came across recently: https://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/discipline

    That is the site where I found the first article! I did tell her she had to sleep one of the places, but used way too many words. I think she was just over-stimulated. It was only the second day of our bedtime routine with baby sister, and I think she was distracted by the baby's grunts and wiggles from the crib. I told her I had to go potty and I would like her to be trying to go to sleep when I get back. She was out by the time I got back.
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  • tokenhosertokenhoser member

    https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Your-Spirited-Child-Rev/dp/0060739665/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1341931022&sr=8-1&keywords=raising+your+spirited+child

    I haven't read that yet, but I've heard good things. I bet it would be useful.

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  • WildcatPrincessWildcatPrincess member
    imagetokenhoser:

    https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Your-Spirited-Child-Rev/dp/0060739665/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1341931022&sr=8-1&keywords=raising+your+spirited+child

    I haven't read that yet, but I've heard good things. I bet it would be useful.

    Someone at group was reading this and said it worked great for her 2nd child. I'm beginning to think I would benefit as well, DD is only interested in doing what she wants to do.

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  • lilleslilles member
    The book Raising your spirited Child that pp mentioned worked wonders for us.
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