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Looking on the Brightside

FyreFlyeRushFyreFlyeRush member
in Single Parents

I'm trying not to get my hopes up or relax too much, but he's told mutual friend's that's he's only after visitation, Tues, Thurs & EOW. Well, the EOW weekend isn't happening. Not overnight, not if I can help it. But after he's 6mos, I have no issues with him taking LO for a couple of hours on those days. I'm even looking forward to some me time. Right now, I get about 30 minutes a day.

I was thinking: Tues and Thurs 2hrs each, EO Sat and Sun 3hrs each at my home until 6mos, and then he can take him for the same after that. Overnights I'll pushback until he's done nursing or 3, whichever is later. He really needs to see what LO is like in his Witching Hour... From about 6-9... Because, I think he needs to be able to turn him over WHEN he panics. And, he will. His witching hour is HARD to deal with every night.

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Re: Looking on the Brightside

  • FyreFlyeRushFyreFlyeRush member

    Not my pace. State's pace. Short frequent visits at the moms until 6mos. Overnights at 3, weekends beginning at 4, summer at 5.

    But, since there's no standard, a judge could order the standard possesion order at anytime.  Most don't. The general accepted is what I'm asking for.

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  • supermansmommysupermansmommy
    I I think that sounds good, especially since your LO is so young. Once STBX realized I wasn't trying to screw him on visitation and was basically asking for a six month transition plan working up to a state standard 1 weeknight and EOW (with overnights) schedule he got onboard.
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  • FyreFlyeRushFyreFlyeRush member
    He's also made some rather ignorant and hurtful remarks about SIDS. He believed it isn't real. That it can only happen to bad parents. That it's 100% preventable. The implication was my sister killed her son. SIDS changes you. You never get over it. I'm far more cautious with H than with J. I don't like letting out of my sight. I've woken during his apnea events. Scared the @$$@!$&) out of me to find him not breathing. I touched him, and he started again. If I hadn't, would he have stirred on his own? We'll never know, and I frankly don't WANT to know. I don't trust his father to be that sensitive to his baby. Men are not mothers. We are biologically built to be in tune with our children. At 6mos, the risk drops to nil. If he truly cares about what's best for H, and not what he feels he's entitled to, then he'll agree with me on this. If not, odds are high a judge will. 
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