A slight twist on the pregnant/bridesmaid dress question

JenniatONU · July 2012

I will be just over 2 months PP when I will be a bridesmaid.

We are ordering dresses this week. Help?! I was thinking of just ordering a dress 2 sizes to big, and then having it altered. I feel like no matter what it's a stab in the dark.

:For those of you who remember, I was invited to a 'Engagement Party' thrown by the bride this weekend. I'm driving 6 hrs to attend. She is now upset that I'm not staying the entire weekend, because she wants me to go with the girls to get my dress. I told her I will not be there until after noon on the day of the party (that starts at 7pm) and staying that night only.

I told her that I have no clue what size I will be, so it's sort of a moot point anyways for me to be there. She's throwing a bride-zilla fit now, telling me I MUST GET MEASURED! Um. What part of I will have just given birth 8 weeks earlier do you not get?!? And wants me to leave in middle of the night/early morning to get to her house by 9am. Um, yeah, not happening.

(I also find this hilarious coming from the chick who showed up for my wedding literally right as it was supposed to begin, because she was too busy doing shots in her hotel room instead of helping get the last minute things ready. lol)

kellmoria · July 2012

"I'm sorry, but I'm pregnant and I need to sleep. I will see you when I get to town after noon the day of the party."

Khrysty289 · July 2012

I have 0 firsthand experience but it really seems to be a shot in the dark. Some people are back to pre-pregnancy weight at 2 weeks pp, and some aren't there yet until a year or two out. I think two sizes up is a fair guess, though. A good seamstress would be able to take it in for you (as long as the dress isn't super complicated) and I can't imagine you'll be bigger than that.

ETA: She's a crazy clueless bridezilla if she thinks you're hauling your pregnant butt out of bed that early just so you can be there early. I'd tell her no and leave it at that.

JenniatONU · July 2012

Oh, no worries, I flat out told her I'm not coming.

NoeliaV · July 2012

Sheesh. That all sounds like such a pain.

How big are you now (at about 5 months, right?)? I've heard that you'll leave the hospital looking about 6 months, so going 2 sizes up sounds like too much to me.

CMor1 · July 2012

when I had to go get measured for my bridesmaid dress for my brother's wedding in October, the salesperson said that they could alter a dress down two sizes...any more than that and the look of the style might be changed. I think that ordering 2 sizes up is the way to go for you.

AliceMM · July 2012

I know everyone is totally different but here is my experience. I am normally a size 4/6- but I went to a wedding two months after my son was born and wore a stretchy jersey dress in an 8. (honestly the main thing was I was still breastfeeding and my boobs were HUGE). I had to go and pump twice during the wedding too just to release as they got pretty painful. So make sure that there is lots of room in the bust!

JenniatONU · July 2012

NoeliaV:
Sheesh. That all sounds like such a pain.

How big are you now (at about 5 months, right?)? I've heard that you'll leave the hospital looking about 6 months, so going 2 sizes up sounds like too much to me.

I'm only 4 months. lol. I'm showing, but I could squeeze into my pre-pregnancy jeans if I needed to. lol.

As someone on the FB group mentioned, not all sizes are "True" to your real size. David's bridal was for me, but I want to make sure I have too much material vs. too little.

Besides, either way I'd be paying the extra 300bucks for the "plus size" version.

MrsLaLaBug · July 2012

Jenni I have the same issue - idk if we already talked about it or not... but I will be a 3 months PP bridesmaid for my best friend.

Recently I had this same talk with her and asked her what she wanted me to do, and she said I could wear a different dress if I really wanted to(which of course I do NOT!! lol) I told her I would measure myself now and possibly even add a couple inches to be safe so that I could have some definite "room" in the dress when it gets here. I just feel like it's always going to be wayyy easier to take a dress in than let it out, kwim? She was sorta nervous about that, "well what if you lose the baby weight and then some??" HAHAHA sweet child, she is. I told her if that did happen I would prob be a freak of nature, but that I didn't care if they had to take like a bajillion inches in. Still better than the alternative.

It's just really hard to try and guess, but I think you can't really go wrong with ordering a couple sizes up or giving yourself extra inches added onto what your measurements already are. It's a sticky situation b/c we just never know what our bodies will do. You could also maybe ask a local bridal salon where you live what do they normally do in that situation - I'm sure it's an instance that happens alot so hopefully they might have some kind of advice. HTH. And for what it's worth - you are perfectly in the right for not leaving your house at dark-thirty just to appease her. ANYbody can measure you, it doesn't have to be that specific place where she is going!

ShellShockedMama · July 2012

and the reason you havent told this moron to eat a d?ck and die is why?

at 2 months pp I was huge. my belly still looked pregnant. by 4 I was down significantly but not 2 months. I was about four sizes up from my normal size, but that's street clothes I don't know how dress sizes work.

tell her there's no point in measuring and you rrefuse to waste your time.

cassoppea · July 2012

This girl sounds like a peach! I remember this story and I think it's VERY nice of you to drive 6 hours to her engagement party. Personally I would get the dress altered as close as possible to the wedding. Order it 2 sizes bigger than normal, find a good tailor in your area and ask how long they need to alter a dress. If she can't understand this then she's crazy. I would just do what you need to do or worst case, back out of being a bridesmaid if she's going to give you that hard of a time.

Another thing to consider: If you do plan on BFing, you may want to ask if they can somehow alter the straps so you can unbutton them and make it easier to nurse/pump. I was a bridesmaid when my daughter was 3 months old and had a strapless dress - I had to take the entire dress off to nurse her, which I had to do 2-3 times while in the dress. Not a pretty site.

mama2many · July 2012

sigh - I can't stand anyone who thinks that their event, no matter what it is, dictates everyone else's response. You invite, you let people know your hope/plan, and they are responsible for their own ability/willingness to participate. grr.

As far as the dress, Are you showing yet? Cause you might be pretty close at 8pp to what you are now. I'd maybe get a dress that is a bit loose now - you may very well be able to take it in then.

JenniatONU · July 2012

ShellShockedMama:
and the reason you havent told this moron to eat a d?ck and die is why?
at 2 months pp I was huge. my belly still looked pregnant. by 4 I was down significantly but not 2 months. I was about four sizes up from my normal size, but that's street clothes I don't know how dress sizes work.
tell her there's no point in measuring and you rrefuse to waste your time.

1. I'm not sure why. lol.

2. I have told her there is no point, it will be a shot in the dark no matter what. She literally doesn't understand what I'm saying.

"I'm just saying that no matter what, my size is going to be a guess, a shot in the dark. I'm going to order up, and get a size x and get it altered later."

"All the girls must stop in and get measured this weekend. It takes 4 months to get your dress. We can't wait for you to get measured. "

robyn2201 · July 2012

I think 2 sizes up would be a good idea. I remember going shopping about a month PP and I was about 2 sizes up from before I got pregnant. Like someone else mentioned that part that really changed for myself was my chest. I went up 2 bra sizes. One while pregnant and then another once my milk came in.

NoeliaV · July 2012

JenniatONU:
I'm only 4 months. lol. I'm showing, but I could squeeze into my pre-pregnancy jeans if I needed to. lol.
As someone on the FB group mentioned, not all sizes are "True" to your real size. David's bridal was for me, but I want to make sure I have too much material vs. too little.
Besides, either way I'd be paying the extra 300bucks for the "plus size" version.

Gotcha. I do know that taking a dress in by too many sizes can be just as difficult as letting a dress out, kwim? When I was wedding dress shopping, I remember girls buying off CL or ebay too many sizes big and then being upset that they couldn't be taken in properly. Ugh.

I still think this sounds like too much of a pain, lol!

Maybe ask to talk with the alterations people about what they would advise?

ShellShockedMama · July 2012

JenniatONU:
ShellShockedMama:
and the reason you havent told this moron to eat a d?ck and die is why?
at 2 months pp I was huge. my belly still looked pregnant. by 4 I was down significantly but not 2 months. I was about four sizes up from my normal size, but that's street clothes I don't know how dress sizes work.
tell her there's no point in measuring and you rrefuse to waste your time.
1. I'm not sure why. lol.
2. I have told her there is no point, it will be a shot in the dark no matter what. She literally doesn't understand what I'm saying.
"I'm just saying that no matter what, my size is going to be a guess, a shot in the dark. I'm going to order up, and get a size x and get it altered later."
"All the girls must stop in and get measured this weekend. It takes 4 months to get your dress. We can't wait for you to get measured. "

here is the reply I've prepared for you:

"don't be an obtuse buffoon. I am pregnant. there is a baby living in my uterus. because there is a baby there, I am unable to be measured. if you can't accept this, I'll gladly save my hard earned $300, not buy the hideous dress you've surely picked out and attend as a guest.

ps: eat a di?k."

there. done.

JenniatONU · July 2012

ShellShockedMama:
JenniatONU:
ShellShockedMama:
and the reason you havent told this moron to eat a d?ck and die is why?
at 2 months pp I was huge. my belly still looked pregnant. by 4 I was down significantly but not 2 months. I was about four sizes up from my normal size, but that's street clothes I don't know how dress sizes work.
tell her there's no point in measuring and you rrefuse to waste your time.
1. I'm not sure why. lol.
2. I have told her there is no point, it will be a shot in the dark no matter what. She literally doesn't understand what I'm saying.
"I'm just saying that no matter what, my size is going to be a guess, a shot in the dark. I'm going to order up, and get a size x and get it altered later."
"All the girls must stop in and get measured this weekend. It takes 4 months to get your dress. We can't wait for you to get measured. "
here is the reply I've prepared for you:
"don't be an obtuse buffoon. I am pregnant. there is a baby living in my uterus. because there is a baby there, I am unable to be measured. if you can't accept this, I'll gladly save my hard earned $300, not buy the hideous dress you've surely picked out and attend as a guest.
ps: eat a di?k."

there. done.

Yes

All I can say is: This wedding sure as hell better NOT be dry!

NoeliaV · July 2012

ShellShockedMama:

here is the reply I've prepared for you:
"don't be an obtuse buffoon. I am pregnant. there is a baby living in my uterus. because there is a baby there, I am unable to be measured. if you can't accept this, I'll gladly save my hard earned $300, not buy the hideous dress you've surely picked out and attend as a guest.
ps: eat a di?k."
there. done.

egingras · July 2012

JenniatONU:

NoeliaV:
Sheesh. That all sounds like such a pain.

How big are you now (at about 5 months, right?)? I've heard that you'll leave the hospital looking about 6 months, so going 2 sizes up sounds like too much to me.

I'm only 4 months. lol. I'm showing, but I could squeeze into my pre-pregnancy jeans if I needed to. lol.

As someone on the FB group mentioned, not all sizes are "True" to your real size. David's bridal was for me, but I want to make sure I have too much material vs. too little.

Besides, either way I'd be paying the extra 300bucks for the "plus size" version.

Are the dresses from David's? If so there is no reason for you to go to a fitting with the group, period.

And I like Shell's response best.

JessParmesan79 · July 2012

What company are they ordering from? Is there anyway to delay your order or have it on record that you might need to exchange later (if they have a small window for exchanges)

If not, I would order two sizes up. It's much easier to have a dress altered down, rather than made bigger.

I am currently going through a similar problem. Ordered a JCrew bridesmaid dress for SIL's wedding in Feb, 2 months before BFP. Wedding is in August. I tried it on last week and it's too tight. Still zips, but WAY too tight. JCrew's exchange policy is 60 days. Luckily, the bridal part of JCrew seems more flexible, so I was able to exchange it for two sizes bigger. I figure I'll have it taken in a bit if needed. But what a PITA!

Good luck!

jen.vaughn81 · July 2012

I am in my brothers wedding in October which by then i will be about 7 months. So i have NO idea what I'll look like as this is my first pregnancy.

I am very lucky though that the Bride has said we can buy whatever dress we want, just in a certain color. I'm actually going today to get it ordered, and I am going to pick one of their "maternity" friendly dresses like a jersey or something.

From the way this girls sounds, probably not, but is she flexible on the style???

JenniatONU · July 2012

jen.vaughn81:
I am in my brothers wedding in October which by then i will be about 7 months. So i have NO idea what I'll look like as this is my first pregnancy.
I am very lucky though that the Bride has said we can buy whatever dress we want, just in a certain color. I'm actually going today to get it ordered, and I am going to pick one of their "maternity" friendly dresses like a jersey or something.
From the way this girls sounds, probably not, but is she flexible on the style???

Nope. She already told us she knows what dress we're all wearing. She won't tell us though, until we're at the store. Confused

And to whomever asked, yes, it's from DB.

NoeliaV · July 2012

JenniatONU:
. She already told us she knows what dress we're all wearing. She won't tell us though, until we're at the store.

I hereby officially request:
1) a picture of the dress, and
2) videotaped reaction of the reveal posted here.

It sounds like she's picked out something that will be universally horrendous. Awesome.

Save yourself while you still can, lol.

MrsLaLaBug · July 2012

JenniatONU:
[
Nope. She already told us she knows what dress we're all wearing. She won't tell us though, until we're at the store.

oh, LAWD. You were right, def a Bridezilla.

abuninmyoven · July 2012

JenniatONU:
jen.vaughn81:
I am in my brothers wedding in October which by then i will be about 7 months. So i have NO idea what I'll look like as this is my first pregnancy.
I am very lucky though that the Bride has said we can buy whatever dress we want, just in a certain color. I'm actually going today to get it ordered, and I am going to pick one of their "maternity" friendly dresses like a jersey or something.
From the way this girls sounds, probably not, but is she flexible on the style???
Nope. She already told us she knows what dress we're all wearing. She won't tell us though, until we're at the store.
And to whomever asked, yes, it's from DB.

I was going to ask if it was from DB - for my wedding the bm's dresses came from there, and they made a huge stink about making sure everyone was measured in plenty of time for them to be ordered and terrified me about the dresses not coming in on time because it was "peak season" (I got married at the end of May)....it didn't take more than 3 weeks for anyone's dress to come in. I'm not even sure it was that long. There's no reason for her to get bent out of shape about doing it 4 months prior, IMO and experience.

And ditto to the comments about her attitude, sheesh. Hope it works out one way or another.

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