birthdays kind of suck, huh?

lrichmond86 · July 2012

Today is my birthday. I don't want to celebrate it. I don't want to acknowledge it. I feel like it doesn't matter at all if my son isn't here with me. What do I have to celebrate? I would have given up the rest of my birthdays if it meant my son could have had even just one. When I got up this morning, I already had 3 birthday text messages and my fb wall was overflowing with birthday greetings, far more than years past. I'm sure people think that they're being nice given everything that's happened to us this year, but I wish they would all just ignore me today. My mother is making us go over for dinner. I told her no presents or cake, but I'm sure she will anyway. Just one more sucky milestone in the life of a loss mom...

Mrs Nice · July 2012

I know what you mean. My bday was only 4 days after I lost Ian. I hate my bday now. My parents have always been ones to make a big deal of bdays, and now they can't understand that I just want to be left alone.

Try to have a nice day. Do something that makes you feel good. Have a relaxing bath, go for a walk, read a book... Get drunk...

Hugs to you today!

jbranden12 · July 2012

Yes, they do. Mine was yesterday. I felt guilty for being sad when people were trying to be nice. When people ask what I want to do or where I want to eat or anything I WANT, I have no answer. It's been like this since we lost Patricia, but when it's your "special day" the pressure is on. But I don't want anything except what I can't have. *hugs* to you today. We all know it's not how you imagined it.

tuscanbride2007 · July 2012

((Huge hugs to you today))

My birthday is next weekend and my MIL thought it would be a great idea for the entire family to spend it at the beach where my BIL and SIL live. Not only do I get to be around a bunch of family on a day that I do not want to celebrate, but I also get to be around my pregnant SIL. Really trying to get my mind right for it.

themarquis0 · July 2012

Yeah, I'm with you. Most years, I get rediculously excited about getting a bit of 'birthday money' from my mom/mom-in-law to buy video games or whatever (yeah, I'm basically like 8 years old mentally). After we lost Alice, I totally forgot my birthday was coming up and suddenly had the thought 'oh, I guess I'll get some birthday money' and then realized that I don't give a *** because the only thing I want for my birthday is Alice.

Then all my co-workers kept trying to cheer me up and force me to be happy/excited about my birthday. It was really sweet -- they took me out to lunch and everything. But I kept thinking 'who the f*** cares?' Awesome -- now I'm one year older and no closer to starting a family.

pottermommy · July 2012

Yup, they do.

My birthday is 4 days before Kamryn's angelversary. I hate it. I hate to celebrate.

pottermommy · July 2012

tuscanbride2007:

((Huge hugs to you today))

My birthday is next weekend and my MIL thought it would be a great idea for the entire family to spend it at the beach where my BIL and SIL live. Not only do I get to be around a bunch of family on a day that I do not want to celebrate, but I also get to be around my pregnant SIL. Really trying to get my mind right for it.

Well wasn't that right peachy of them. I wish people would ask what we thought before planning.

tuscanbride2007 · July 2012

pottermommy:
tuscanbride2007:

((Huge hugs to you today))

My birthday is next weekend and my MIL thought it would be a great idea for the entire family to spend it at the beach where my BIL and SIL live. Not only do I get to be around a bunch of family on a day that I do not want to celebrate, but I also get to be around my pregnant SIL. Really trying to get my mind right for it.

Well wasn't that right peachy of them. I wish people would ask what we thought before planning.

Yes! My MIL (who I truly love dearly) even said to me a couple of weeks ago (because I was talking about how DD #1 is going to handle seeing SIL pregnant and if she is going to ask questions) " I wonder how you are going to handle it." Hmmm, maybe this thought should have gone through your mind when planning it?

cherrycobbler · July 2012

I agree. I just didn't care about my birthday and it was 7 months after our loss. I didn't want to go out, I didn't want gifts, I didn't want a special dinner, just my boy. (It was even my birthday wish-I thought if just this one time a wish could come true I wasn't going to waste it). I hope you are able to have an ok birthday today. (hugs)

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birthdays kind of suck, huh?

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