Been having a hard time

meganfauer · July 2012

Hello ladies,

I know I don't post as much anymore, but I promise that I visit to see how all of you are doing. I have been having a real hard time recently. We are still just "trying on our own" and hoping to do another IUI or IVF in the near future. But this unknown is beginning to kill me. We have a phone appt July 18th with CCRM and want to see what they recommend. I try and do the reverse psychology on myself and "try to focus on what I have and not on what I don't" but its getting old. My 23 year old little sister put it so politely the other day "i just want you to get over it and be happy, I want the old Megan back" I almost slapped her. She obviously cannot relate and does not get it.

Also My DH and I have been bickering so badly lately and about the stupidest things. I am trying very hard to lose some of this weight (20lbs) I have gained over the past 2 years and it is frustrating too. Just don't feel as confident as I once did. I just feel all around down and overwhelmed and I know that my DH, who is a poor communicator, is too.

Thank you for listening I guess I just needed to vent and get it out. Sometimes it all begins to be too much. I "pretend" that I am good and feel fine and then i will have a breakdown and right now is one of those times. I hate infertility, HATE HATE HATE.

Hope that all of you are doing well,

Megan

reb259 · July 2012

meganfauer:
Hello ladies,
I know I don't post as much anymore, but I promise that I visit to see how all of you are doing. I have been having a real hard time recently. We are still just "trying on our own" and hoping to do another IUI or IVF in the near future. But this unknown is beginning to kill me. We have a phone appt July 18th with CCRM and want to see what they recommend. I try and do the reverse psychology on myself and "try to focus on what I have and not on what I don't" but its getting old. My 23 year old little sister put it so politely the other day "i just want you to get over it and be happy, I want the old Megan back" I almost slapped her. She obviously cannot relate and does not get it.
Also My DH and I have been bickering so badly lately and about the stupidest things. I am trying very hard to lose some of this weight (20lbs) I have gained over the past 2 years and it is frustrating too. Just don't feel as confident as I once did. I just feel all around down and overwhelmed and I know that my DH, who is a poor communicator, is too.
Thank you for listening I guess I just needed to vent and get it out. Sometimes it all begins to be too much. I "pretend" that I am good and feel fine and then i will have a breakdown and right now is one of those times. I hate infertility, HATE HATE HATE.
Hope that all of you are doing well,
Megan

i am sorry...i have been feeling the same. It is hard and takes so much. I hope your call on the 18th goes well.

Mrs.McIrish · July 2012

I know how you feel. This just sucks and you can only escape the sadness for so long. It seeps back in every time. I hope CCRM can change things up for you. Hugs.

mtlaurel · July 2012

I'm sorry you've been having a hard time. I also feel a general, but pervasive loss of confidence, and hate how that carries over into every part of my life. I hope that your CCRM appointment brings a little positive spark your way.

Edwina.McDunnough · July 2012

mtlaurel:
I'm sorry you've been having a hard time. I also feel a general, but pervasive loss of confidence, and hate how that carries over into every part of my life. I hope that your CCRM appointment brings a little positive spark your way.

Right out of my mouth. I'm so sad that so many of us are feeling this way. Huge hugs and hoping for an enlightening consult with CCRM.

rockpaperlove · July 2012

I know these feelings all too, unfortunately, well. I wish you brighter days ahead sweetie. Best of luck with your phone consult too. I have my consult with Schoolcraft at CCRM in mid-August. Maybe we can compare notes? Hugs.

illinigal · July 2012

Hugs. I'm sorry you are feeling down. Ive been feeling sad lately too since our IVF is being pushed back. I just went to my first Resolve meeting last night and I'm hoping to start going regularly. I hope your CCRM consult goes well and you and your Dh can get on a path you are happy with.

meganfauer · July 2012

Thank you ladies for all of your support. Coming here to vent honestly is nice since you truly are the ONLY people that can truly understand.

I do look forward to my appt with CCRM and I hope that he helps to shed some light on what to do and when. And yes I could love to share notes!!!

MBfromBMC · July 2012

(((hugs)))

I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way and I hope that CCRM can turn things around for you.

Aegis2005 · July 2012

I'm so sorry that you've been struggling. (((hugs)))

emca · July 2012

I am so, so sorry that you are feeling this way. I am feeling some very similar things. I hope your consult goes well. I also have a consult with Dr. Schoolcraft in August. Maybe we can all compare notes!

lovemygs · July 2012

I've been thinking of you, hon. I hope CCRM sheds some new light on the situation and brings you some answers/hope/peace. Email me anytime.

(((hugs)))

LaLe09 · July 2012

I'm really sorry you are having a hard time right now. I can relate to alot of what you are saying. And it all sucks.

Hope your appt with CCRM goes well.

mm29 · July 2012

I'm sorry you are having a hard time right now. I have my fingers crossed your appt with ccrm goes well. (((Huge hugs)))

Denae'sTTC · July 2012

I'm sorry hun....hang in there..and always remember we are here for you....I hate hate hate IF as well....but we are soldiers when it comes to this and in war we do whatever we need to.....sorry I just watched Army Wives! Hugggssss

AmCheri · July 2012

Big hugs. You're definitely not alone. I hope CC.RM can give you some helpful guidance. Good luck!

Delta04 · July 2012

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I totally understand - I wish it didn't have to be so hard. I really hope your consult can provide a new insight and plan.