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Parenting
ILs & Bfing: WWYD? Clicky poll
So my in-laws were just here for 8 DAYS!!! They live 7 hours away, and they hadn't met Ryan yet, so I guess it's understandable, but man that was a long, hard visit. It was made more difficult by the fact that FIL is extremely uncomfortable with breastfeeding. Like, he would leave the room every.single.time I fed the baby. So, for most of the week, I fed Ryan in the bedroom. Unfortunately, that meant that I felt really isolated for most of the day, like I was trapped in the room by myself. But still, everytime I nursed in the living room, FIL would run off. They will be coming back at the end of the summer for Ryan's christening, and I don't know how to best deal with the situation.
[Poll]
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Re: ILs & Bfing: WWYD? Clicky poll
Ok. Who gets the shanking? lol
She's feeding her child, not changing a tampon. No need to leave the family room.
Nurse whenever and wherever you want
just make sure hubs trims his coke nail.
Nurse where ever you want. Maybe throw a light blankey over though.
I know it makes my brother really uncomfortable when I nurse, so I try to nurse with a cover or move my chair so he can't see my bewbs.
But if he's uncomfortable thats not really my issue. He is able bodied and usually gets up and does something else while I feed Tiny.
I use a cover when I change my tampon in the family room.
I would probably use a blanket to get her latched on, then ditch it. I did the two shirts thing - one to pull down, one to pull up.
FIL needs to chill out.
That's not shank-worthy. You're doing it for yourself. Darn, I was kinda excited to shank someone. Oh well.
LOL
However, if I was Ok with NIP then I'd pick option 2. I am almost thinking he's leaving to give you privacy. Did he ask you to leave? If not, that is HIS choice to leave. I know my dad would leave & I wouldn't give it a second thought.
I agree with this. My own father was like this. Always left the room, even with a cover. He never made a fuss about it and said more than a few times how good BFing was- but it made him uncomfortable. I never left the room, I would just announce "Oh time to eat" and he would leave. He's a loner anyway so he didn't mind.
I don't think it's right to actually say to FIL "Get over it" but I don't think YOU should isolate yourself. He can go in the other room.
Francesca Pearl is here! Josephine Hope is almost 3!
I'm willing to bet MIL complained that she hardly got to see the baby...
Francesca Pearl is here! Josephine Hope is almost 3!
He never actually complained, but it was obvious that he was uncomfortable. We would all be sitting around, chatting, and then as soon as I'd pick Ryan up and start to nurse FIL would get up and leave the room. It was really awkward. I always use a cover, blanket, or two shirts, but I felt bad making him uncomfortable so I just did most of my feeding in the bedroom. But after 8 days, I started to feel stir-crazy. I just wanted to be around people, having conversation. I really don't want to go through that again when they come back for the Christening.
But as PP said, it's not like I'm changing a tampon...lol. Maybe FIL just needs to get with the times.
My BFP Chart
Lol! I wouldn't be surprised...
ETA - if he isn't complaining, it's not so much a matter of needing to "get with the times." He's not telling you not to do it, he's leaving without complaint so you can BF without issue. Some people are just that way.
I voted 2, because it sounds like op is fine nip. Personally, I go to another room, because I'm still awkward about it. I know I can nurse wherever I want, but I want the extra privacy.
My house, my rules. My child, my rules. Alec still BF's, and I'll be damned if someone is making me feel uncomfortable with my decision to continue to do so...while in my own house to boot!
I'd be hammering my FIL with BF information and flooding his inbox with information. But I'm obnoxious like that.
I apparently need a shanking. I clicked number one. I nurse in public, in front of my mom, my dad, and mil, but for whatever reason nursing in front of FIL gives me the heebie jeebies. I always took/take DS up to his or my room in private, but I also like a little break from the company.
I would be shanked....b/c it would be so wierd for me to nurse in front of my fil. Gives me goosebumps thinking about it ha ha.............He's prob just oldschool.
but then again before kids....when i saw anyone nip, it made me uncomfortable. I didn't really understand. But that was years ago!
No, no, no.
you don't get shanked if YOU are uncomfortable and leave.
If you don't care and relocate in your own home, then I shank. lol
In my house, i would nurse anywhere i wanted. in someone elses house, it would depend on how comfortable everyone is. for example, at my parents and best friends house, i would nurse right were everyone was. at my ILs , i would go into the next room
Personally, I didn't nurse in front of people that weren't my friends or my family. I just wasn't comfortable nursing in front of SO's father.
However, if you are comfortable nursing in front of FIL, I say nurse wherever the heck you want. He can deal with it or leave.
This kinda reminds me about having to watch football with my Grandfather when I wanted to watch cartoons. When we were at his house we had to watch football because it was his house and when he was at our house we had to watch football because he was a guest. LOL!
So, those of you who think that OP should nurse in private because she shouldn't make a house guest uncomfortable, do you think she should be able to be the comfortable one in another person's home? Or is it just up to the OP to make sure everyone but her is comfortable.
I nurse wherever and whenever my LO is hungry. I did use a cover at first, but that usually ended up being less discreet because DD would rip it off, so I just practiced not showing myself off. I also think that in order to normalize BFing we have to act like it is no big deal and just nurse when baby is hungry just like you would with a bottle fed baby. I hate that women are ostracized for the way they choose to feed their children. You shouldn't ever have to hide.
If he's fine with just leaving, I would stay wherever you are comfortable. It may be awkward at first, but I think it will be less awkward over time. And maybe now and then you can go to another room and give yourself and LO a break, as well as FIL.
I don't think there's any need to say anything to FIL either way, as long as he's not saying anything to you about it. If he confronts you and *asks* you to leave the room, I would stand up to him.
This is all based on an 8-day visit, btw. I might be more accommodating of FIL's discomfort if he were only there for a day or two.