Special Needs

New to the bump, child with Asperger's

Hello everyone,

My new husband and I are trying to conceive. It is a little anxiety causing for me... I am an over weight 35 year old. I have two darling daughters. A 14 year old and 12 year old. Naturally I love them dearly and tell everyone how they are the most perfect of children for me. (I had both girls in my 20s, first cycle with my first husband)

 

My 12 year old has asperger's. She was diagnosed at age 8. I also work with vulnerable adults and many of my clients are 18 to 20 year olds on the spectrum (all high functioning). I love my little Aspie, but it makes life very difficult sometimes when a situation occurs with her. I have to be honest and say that I have fears of having another special needs child. I know it would be ok and my daughter is very high functioning and has a great quality of life and I am always so proud of her (well proud of both my daughters, but for different reasons).

 

Anyway, I think I need a little reassurance that it will be ok to conceive again. 

Re: New to the bump, child with Asperger's

  • finsupfinsup member

    Nobody can predict the future.  You know that you are at an increased risk because you have 1 child on the spectrum.

    This question comes up from time to time here and on other spectrum related boards I visit.  Honestly - there is no one size fits all answer.  You have to go with what is right for you. 

     GL!

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  • Thank you :) and yes, I do know the risks. I will be so happy to have another child, no matter what. Fear is just a pesky thing that can lead to self-doubt. At least I am prepared this time!
  • DH and I had DS knowing there was a high possibility of an ASD. My DD (from a previous relationship) is 12 and has AS. The spectrum runs on my side of the family. We have PDD-NOS, Autism and AS on my side. We suspect spectrum qualities in DH's oldest nephew who is only diagnosed as ADHD but seems very Asperger's like to us. As well as my oldest stepson has many spectrum qualities but is not diagnosed due to disagreements between my DH and his ex. She thinks he is only ADHD and will not see the other issues as separate.

    That being said, I am always looking out for signs in DS. DD was not diagnosed until 7 but I saw a lot of her quirkyness and behavioral issue long before that. She is bright and hit all milestones ahead. DS is very much like DD in some ways. I hope he doesn't end up on the spectrum but if he does we are prepared. At this point, there is nothing much we can really do for him. He is pretty hyperlexic at this point.

    DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

  • Kids on the spectrum keep life interesting, eh? ;)

    I have a daughter (from my first marriage) who is on the spectrum and I am currently pregnant.  My husband and I both work with individuals who have severe autism.  To say that we are familiar with autism is something of an understatement. ;)  Obviously, we talked about the odds and risks of having another child with autism before we started trying.  For us, it became a non-entity.  We are prepared to have a child with autism.  If not, we are prepared to learn how to parent a neurotypical child. 

    Good luck with your decision.  

    Also, if you ever want to chat about the joys of having a pre-teen on the spectrum, feel free to message me.  :)

    Karyn

     

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