perhaps irrational about clothing and weight

Mrs.Teddy · July 2012

I'm not looking for attention, and I totally agree with this weeks UO about people's weight expectations etc. I've had two babies and I'm pushing 30, things change. I don't want to be a size 2 but I'm pretty depressed that the size 18 shorts I bought today are too tight.

I'm not trying to come off as AWish honestly, I'm having a bad night and have no one IRL who can relate. I'm the fattest I've over been not pregnant. I can deal with that (in a way). But the thing is the clothing.

We leave for Disney Wednesday and I have NOTHING that fits me pants wise. We went to Kohls today and I thought I found something. Get home with 3 pairs of bermuda shorts and they all give me an awful muffin top. I'm taking them back.

DH is really frusturated with me. He says he loves me and I know he does, I just hate myself right now, and I'm in tears. I'm going to have to go out tomorrow alone wiht both kids and try and find some shorts or something. I think I'll get one or two paors of yoga type pants for daytime at the park. But I feel like some of the resturants warrant something a bit nicer. Ugh I'm so frusturated right now.

If anyone read this thank you for listening to me.

erniebufflo · July 2012

I'm sorry you're feeling down on yourself! My one thought is: what about dresses? I'm kind of a Disney hoor (been 14 times), and I wear jersey dresses at the parks. Nice and breezy for the Florida weather, and there's no worry about muffin top, and you're basically wearing a dress made of tee-shirt, so you'll be comfy. Much cooler than yoga pants, and you'll still look more "dressed." Old Navy and Target often have them for pretty cheap.

MsNessa · July 2012

Mrs.Teddy:
I've had two babies and I'm pushing 30, things change.

I'm right there with you on this. I'm finding it much harder to lose the weight than I expected. I looked at an old photo of myself the other day and thought, "I can't believe I felt fat back then, I looked great!" I know my LO's are worth it, but it's still tough. I know I'd feel better if I had clothes that fit right and I feel comfortable in, but so far I just haven't had the chance to go shopping by myself.

gwennec · July 2012

You are not alone. I feel the same way. I think there is something about having the 2nd kid and the weight just not coming off. And I am now 37, so it seems even harder now that I am nearing freaking 40! We went out to dinner last night and NOTHING fit. I literally had to wear a maternity dress that was stretchy fabric. It is so depressing. It has been so hot here and I don't have any shorts that fit and all my t shirts are so tight and make me feel even fatter.

I am too at the biggest I have been not pregnant. I had always been pretty fit too, going to the gym 5 times a week and eating pretty healthy most of the time. Even after having DD1, I was pretty much back to my pre preg weight within the first month, maybe 5 pounds over, but no big deal. I was back in my pre pregnancy clothes definitely. Of course I was also in the best shape of my life before getting pregnant and worked out a ton up until the 8th month. Fast forward to pregnancy #2 where I started heavier, was definitely not working out, had just moved, so had lots of stress and was basically eating crap food all the time. Now I am at least 20-25 pounds over where I need to be and even then I probably could stand to loose more.

DH feels the same way and we had a huge discussion today about eating better and signing up and going to the gym. We looked at everyone's schedules and put up when we would each workout on the calendar. I am feeling more optimistic and hopeful about getting there and taking the first step in feeling better. I know it is going to take some time, but I need to at least get control over this and take a step in the right direction. I am not going to continue at this weight any longer.

Go out tomorrow and find some clothes that are comfortable and don't worry about the size. Get a pair of black pants with an elastic waist that are more free flowing, dressy, but comfortable. You can easily dress them up or down as appropriate. Enjoy your family vacation and start taking steps now to get control over this. It is never too late to make a change.

starbound6 · July 2012

Ditto PPs with 2 kids.. it's much harder this time imo. I'm also the heaviest I've ever been and I'm sure my metabolism has slowed. Along with BFing making me hungrier, it's a no-win situation! Dresses are great for the summer.. though hard to BF in? I feel ya:(

jesbeth · July 2012

I agree with Ernie. I've been living in dresses so far this summer, and I plan on getting some new ones. My pre-pregnancy dresses are pretty loose in the tummy and boob regions and I've had no problem nursing in them. I just throw on some cheap cotton shorts underneath.

Mrs.Teddy · July 2012

Thanks ladies. I'm hoping I find a few things that make me feel a bit better tomorrow.

I thought about dresses as an option and may look for a few, I'm just a bit nervous about nursing in them. I will be nursing where ever we are. I usually do the double top thing but I think its going to be too hot to layer anyways so perhaps a dress with a top that I could pull down or something. I hope my kids aren't wild and I can find a few things.

erniebufflo · July 2012

Maybe also some shorter dresses over capri-length leggings to help with the nursing issue?

ETA: also, those fold-over jersey skirts. I have one from Old Navy but have also seen them at Target. Then you could wear them with whatever tops you'd otherwise wear with shorts, they're nursing friendly, and the waistband of the skirt will be super comfy and not dig in to the soft postpartum belly and create a muffin top.

mrs+harlow · July 2012

You aren't alone. I currently weigh more than I ever have in my life and getting dressed in the morning is ridiculous. I've also been getting comments about my weight from others, which has made matters worse. I have 20 lbs. to go and it is annoying as hell. I've been living in dresses as PP mentioned. Target has some cute cotton jersey dresses that I got towards the end of pregnancy that I think NIP would sort of work in...and they make me feel not as huge as putting on a pair of shorts.

starbound6 · July 2012

erniebufflo:
ETA: also, those fold-over jersey skirts. I have one from Old Navy but have also seen them at Target. Then you could wear them with whatever tops you'd otherwise wear with shorts, they're nursing friendly, and the waistband of the skirt will be super comfy and not dig in to the soft postpartum belly and create a muffin top.

Yes this is a great idea.. those fold-over skirts are great. I have several for the summer. And LOL@ not dig into the soft postpartum belly!! (don't forget soft postpartum thighs too.. urgh)

Eilis123 · July 2012

I've been wearing a wardrobe of long jersey dresses. I especially love strapless maxi dresses that are empire waist - I feel sexy, feminine, motherly, and the chub is covered. Luckily dresses - especially long dresses - are in style right now.

I think shorts and jeans can be brutal on a female figure, at any size, but especially when you are feeling a little fluffy.

I'm having a really hard time with the body changes - I was a size 0 pre preg, I had a great figure that I loved, and now it's all soft and chubby and my whole shape has changed.

But I just had a baby. That is a great, feminine accomplishment. I keep trying to remind myself that the beauty I have as a mother is different - not less - than the beauty I had as a bride or a single girl. It's going to be a little more voluptuous and as long as I am healthy, that is OK.

raynes · July 2012

I can commiserate on the weight and body issues. I'm not a fan of myself right now and am having a hard time with food because I'm always so damned tired.

Re: clothing, as much as it pained me to do se, I found a great nursing friendly dress in the Plus Size section at Walmart. It's jersey, knee length-ish and came in either bright purple or orange. It had a crossover neckline that plunged further than I'd wear with a plain bra but was perfect with a nursing tank. And it was dirt cheap.

Kdrake8 · July 2012

erniebufflo:
I'm sorry you're feeling down on yourself! My one thought is: what about dresses? I'm kind of a Disney hoor (been 14 times), and I wear jersey dresses at the parks. Nice and breezy for the Florida weather, and there's no worry about muffin top, and you're basically wearing a dress made of tee-shirt, so you'll be comfy. Much cooler than yoga pants, and you'll still look more "dressed." Old Navy and Target often have them for pretty cheap.

This! When Loft had a dress sale, I bought 5. They're pretty much the only thing I've been wearing. DH actually even made a comment about me dressing up all the time and him not looking as "nice". I didn't tell him why ;-) makes me feel a little better too, bc I don't feel like I look casual or frumpy all the time. Its definitely helped my self esteem a bit until I can get my old body back.

FlyHigh37 · July 2012

I'm bigger than I've ever been as well. I bought a couple dresses and had a fold over skirt that was always too big to wear prior pregnancy. I do feel so much better in them and my husband also likes that I'm wearing dresses more than I ever have. Also, Kohls is often hard to have good luck for buying pants/bottoms in my experience. I've heard others say the same. I had quick and easy luck finding dresses at target that look nice and I can easily nurse in. Good luck!

https://www.target.com/p/merona-womens-maternity-v-neck-kimono-sleeve-knit-dress-assorted-colors/-/A-13993098#?lnk=sc_qi_detaillink

This dress is comfy, cool and very easy to nurse in!

katieh1017 · July 2012

I am in the same boat. I'm 37 and never been this big. I return to work Monday. I went shopping on Saturday to find stuff to wear with zero success. Nothing fits me! I have this huge assss and hips. I don't know what to do.

Like PPs, maybe try Old Navy and dare I say Wal Mart? I got a cheap pair of capris and tank from there. I don't want to spend a lot on clothes in this size. I have 40lbs to go. I lost 45 already. Yup, gained 75lbs!

Good luck and have fun on your vacation!

Patella1129 · July 2012

The kimono dresses from Target are pretty easy to nurse in. I pull the v-neck to the side and can get my breast out pretty easily.

DiamondDani · July 2012

Patella1129:
The kimono dresses from Target are pretty easy to nurse in. I pull the v-neck to the side and can get my breast out pretty easily.

I nurse in the kimono dresses from Target. But I think the suggestion for a fold over jersey skirt is good too! I hope you are able to find something.

I can relate to the weight issues. We're not talking the last 5-10 vanity pounds either. I gained 40lbs when pregnant. I've only lost 10 pounds. TEN! Wtfwtfwtf. And I'm EBF so I'm starving all the time & afraid to cut calories too much. It's really messing with my mind & self esteem right now. I feel like my body is failing me right now since the only weight I've lost is literally from the baby/placenta, nothing more.

rxbeth · July 2012

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and I hope you can find something you like today.

Dresses do seem to be the way to go. I've had a few events where I needed to wear dresses and I just made sure they were nursing friendly enough. What I found worked was a dress where I could just easily pull the strap down and then I had a nursing tank underneath (or nursing bra if I didn't want the boob to look as droopy in public).

I think we can all relate to an extent. I pretty much live in track pants and at 5 weeks pp I went out and bought shorts from Old Navy in the next size up. I know it is difficult, but don't worry about the number on the tag.

Monicagail1 · July 2012

I'm sorry you're feeling down. The post partum period is such a rough time for body image, regardless of your weight. I'm the lightest I've been in years (still plus size though), but I still struggle. I'm several sizes smaller, but I feel lumpier than I did after DD1. My belly is jigglier and I still have this "B" belly thing going on. Plus, after having a c/s i feel like my lower belly is still puffy and ugly looking. So clothes still don't look right on me.

I hope you find something and can enjoy your trip!!! (((Hugs)))

DinabethL · July 2012

I'm going through the same thing. It is really rough. Nothing but yoga pants fit me right now. I tried shopping for capris (jean) and I found nothing. If I did find something, it would squeeze my belly (which is still flubby) and make it look awful. It is so hard, and DH gets frustrated with me too. I hate my bottom half. All of my old shirts fit again, but pants? I have no idea what size I even wear.

kimdw1 · July 2012

What about gaucho pants? I got a black and brown pair from Target and they're all I wear. They can be dressed up a bit if you wear a nicer top.

Musiclover2012 · July 2012

I hear ya op.... This was my second pregnancy and I just turned 33, my body is not bouncing back like it did last time

its really frustrating and a little depressing. I was a size 6 pre preg, gained like 28 lbs, lost all but 1 lb and somehow only fit into a size 10. WTF?!??! How the Hellll does that work? I had to buy new shorts and all new work clothing due to this and it's only one pound

my muffin top is the issue..

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