Trying to decide between C-section vs vaginal...

Angela Garis · July 2012

I am about to have my first baby (it's a boy!) in Sept and my dr and I are talking about a C vs going Vaginal. Up til about a month ago i was set on a Csection but now am considering doing he whole labor thing and trying to go vaginally.

Any mom's who have had both? I am curious, which you preferred and why? I am about to be a single mom who has family/friends out of town who are coming into town for his birth. It seems more practical to go with a "planned" C and I have heard it can tear you up down there going vaginally.

Anyone care to weigh in? Thank so much!

Braydn's mommy

blindvictory · July 2012

Is there any medical reason for you to have a c-section? Call me crazy, but I wouldn't want to have major surgery "for fun" or for convenience. Sure, the ability to schedule your kid's birth would be nice, but again, a c-section is major surgery and I wouldn't jump to have one just for the heck of it being convenient. Your doctor needs to discuss the risks of c-sections with you before you jump on that train...I'm actually a little surprised that he's willing to do a random elective c-section if it's not medically indicated for you.

SFCA819 · July 2012

I've had both. First a vaginal and a c/s with my second. My vaginal was un-medicated and Ill take that any time over a repeat c/s. As long as my baby moves head down I will be attempting a VBAC. The healing process was so much easier even though I did tear a bit. My scar also bugs me still on occasion. Good luck with your decision, everyone has to do what is right for their body and circumstance.

TaylorP5 · July 2012

blindvictory:
Is there any medical reason for you to have a c-section? Call me crazy, but I wouldn't want to have major surgery "for fun" or for convenience. Sure, the ability to schedule your kid's birth would be nice, but again, a c-section is major surgery and I wouldn't jump to have one just for the heck of it being convenient. Your doctor needs to discuss the risks of c-sections with you before you jump on that train...I'm actually a little surprised that he's willing to do a random elective c-section if it's not medically indicated for you.

This! I was told you don't really have a choice unless you absolutely need a c-section. If you had one before then I could see them letting you get another but I didn't know you could just randomly get one. But hey, that's just from where I live I don't know maybe it's different in different places.

Angela Garis · July 2012

I live in So Cal and they are pretty open to elective C. I have been told by many people that it could be the way to go. Of course there are the horror stories but that can go both ways.

TO answer the medical question, there are a couple reasons I would choose this but none where they said I HAVE to have it. sooo, i am trying to do research on both and make a decision based on what I know.

Thanks for the input.

I guess I am curious for those that have had both, which they preferred.

Angela Garis · July 2012

thanks for the input, appreciate it!!!! And yes i am learning that it is different for each person and their circumstance.

JessAndTrav · July 2012

While a vaginal delivery is very traumatic for the body, a C-Section is as well. I would love the convenience of being able to schedule my LOs birthday and KNOWING when he's coming, but not enough to ASK for major surgery.

Not only do you have to heal from the surgery, but your body STILL has to heal from carrying a baby inside of you for 9 months.

I'm a FTM as well, and believe me, I'm not looking forward to the pain that comes with L&D, but I would still rather do that than to have major surgery.

Also, I'm really looking forward to being able to hold our son right after he's born. You can't do that with a c/s. It's usually about an hour after.

blindvictory · July 2012

Angela Garis:
thanks for the input, appreciate it!!!! And yes i am learning that it is different for each person and their circumstance.

To respond directly to someone, hit "quote" instead of reply. Makes it easier to keep track of who you're talking to. Smile

beh3e · July 2012

blindvictory:
Is there any medical reason for you to have a c-section? Call me crazy, but I wouldn't want to have major surgery "for fun" or for convenience. Sure, the ability to schedule your kid's birth would be nice, but again, a c-section is major surgery and I wouldn't jump to have one just for the heck of it being convenient. Your doctor needs to discuss the risks of c-sections with you before you jump on that train...I'm actually a little surprised that he's willing to do a random elective c-section if it's not medically indicated for you.

This. C-section is not something that should be done unless it is for the best interest of mother and child, and just because you want one is not in best interest.

roxyttandme · July 2012

Your body is not designed to have MAJOR surgery. It is designed to give birth, however. I just don't understand why anyone would choose to go under the knife if they can just as easily go vag. Why do that to your self? Is giving birth painful and exhausting? Absolutely. But if you actually think having a scalpel cut through your derma, membranes, uterus and them to have your child pulled from your body is natural and doesn't come with its own set of pains, exhaustions and discomforts - then you are out of your mind! You are up and walking hours from vag, c-sec can be weeks.

I think you need to do a lot more research and thinking on this before you make a choice.... And please, please don't blame this on some fear of your lady bits never going to be the same afterwards. No ones lady bits are that vain, I hope you aren't too...

JessAndTrav · July 2012

Also, while many women do tear during a vaginal delivery, I can't imagine that it would be worse than the incision from the c/s.

Also, at my birthing class (hosted by the hospital I'll be delivering at) this weekend, the nurse explained to us that it's their protocol to massage the area with KY jelly, which helps to ease the baby out, and it also thins the perineum, so that should help as well.

mommy510 · July 2012

roxyttandme:
Your body is not designed to have MAJOR surgery. It is designed to give birth, however.

This. I would recommend planning in delivering vaginally unless there are complications and a C-section is medically necessary. Your body is made to give birth and heal from that.

Even though I had severe tearing, my vag was completely back to normal after my recovery, and honestly, it was the first part of my body to go back to the way it was before. That doesnt matter though, the most important thing is that I had a healthy baby. If your body is different afterwards, just deal with it. That is part of the consequences of getting pregnant.

Giving birth is a personal choice that you have to make. I wouldnt judge someone for how they make that decision as long as they are informed and trying to do what is best for their family.

tma1685 · July 2012

I've had 2 vag and 1 c-section. I wish I could have the twins vag. The recovery is so much faster and easier. You get a lot more personal time with your baby this way too. I was up moving around as soon as my epi wore off with my first 2. I couldn't hardly sit up after my c-section for a day and a half. If your scared of people not being able to make it in time for the baby to be born I would defiantly go with a vag. You never know if you will make it to your scheduled c-section. You defiantly need a lot more help after a c-section.

I wouldn't worry about tearing that heals with in a few days. Sitz baths really help. I would say if there's no real medical reason for a c-section go for a vag. It might take a little longer for your baby to come out and more work but in the end its worth it by far.

tlew12778 · July 2012

I had a CS with DD and I have done everything in my power to have a vag birth with DS. I wouldn't take a RCS if someone paid me to do have it. The recovery was just horrible with physical trauma that has lasted years.

damabo80 · July 2012

Angela Garis:
I am about to have my first baby (it's a boy!) in Sept and my dr and I are talking about a C vs going Vaginal. Up til about a month ago i was set on a Csection but now am considering doing he whole labor thing and trying to go vaginally.
Any mom's who have had both? I am curious, which you preferred and why? I am about to be a single mom who has family/friends out of town who are coming into town for his birth. It seems more practical to go with a "planned" C and I have heard it can tear you up down there going vaginally.

Anyone care to weigh in? Thank so much!

Braydn's mommy

Ive only had a c section. Recovery sucked.

Abyone who would elect to be sliced open and feel like their insides are going to bust through their stitches and fall out for the next 4 weeks is craaaaazy.

Ive never had anything more painful in my life.

mlf625 · July 2012

tma1685:
I've had 2 vag and 1 c-section. I wish I could have the twins vag. The recovery is so much faster and easier. You get a lot more personal time with your baby this way too. I was up moving around as soon as my epi wore off with my first 2. I couldn't hardly sit up after my c-section for a day and a half. If your scared of people not being able to make it in time for the baby to be born I would defiantly go with a vag. You never know if you will make it to your scheduled c-section. You defiantly need a lot more help after a c-section.

DEFINITELY. Not "defiantly". Sheesh.

damabo80:

Ive only had a c section. Recovery sucked.
Abyone who would elect to be sliced open and feel like their insides are going to bust through their stitches and fall out for the next 4 weeks is craaaaazy.
Ive never had anything more painful in my life.

Confused Really? Way to be super alarmist, there!

OP, I've had awesome c/s experiences. I don't think there's anything wrong with a woman choosing to go that route. You're asking in the wrong place - these boards tend to be very gaspy about c/s, but IRL, I've got plenty of friends who chose the c/s and are very happy with that choice. I am! My recoveries were quick and easy and I never felt like my "insides were going to bust through my stitches and fall out", much less for 4 weeks. I was showered with hair and make up done the day after my c/s, felt great when we left the hospital, was able to go up and down the stairs from the time we got home, and was fine on my own with 2u2 two weeks after the c/s.

For every horror c/s story, there's a horror vaginal story. Do what you want, as long as your doc is on board.

mlf625 · July 2012

tara1223:
FWIW, its alarming that in So. Cal its widely accepted to slice and dice someone for no reason other than it's easier.

Why?? Are you an OB, Tara? If a woman and her OB agree that a c/s is a safe and healthy option for that woman and her baby, it baffles me that any internet stranger would give a shiit about that choice. Especially one who has yet to give birth in ANY way.

linzeek44 · July 2012

JessAndTrav:
Also, I'm really looking forward to being able to hold our son right after he's born. You can't do that with a c/s. It's usually about an hour after.

I am a FTM and I've always been pretty petrified of pain, blood, needles, etc. But we went on our hospital tour and there was one little baby in the nursery (all the others were rooming in with mom). The baby had just been born within the hour via C-section and mom was in recovery. For whatever reason, that one adorable baby weighed really heavily on my heart and every day I hope for a vaginal birth so Eric doesn't spend his first hour by his lonesome in the nursery. (I know the baby was fine; it just got me.)

FWIW, my mother had a C-section with my twin sister and I because I was breech. She chose VBAC with my 10-lbs-at-birth younger sister... Her C-section recovery was not a piece of cake.

mlf625 · July 2012

linzeek44:
JessAndTrav:
Also, I'm really looking forward to being able to hold our son right after he's born. You can't do that with a c/s. It's usually about an hour after.
I am a FTM and I've always been pretty petrified of pain, blood, needles, etc. But we went on our hospital tour and there was one little baby in the nursery (all the others were rooming in with mom). The baby had just been born within the hour via C-section and mom was in recovery. For whatever reason, that one adorable baby weighed really heavily on my heart and every day I hope for a vaginal birth so Eric doesn't spend his first hour by his lonesome in the nursery. (I know the baby was fine; it just got me.)
FWIW, my mother had a C-section with my twin sister and I because I was breech. She chose VBAC with my 10-lbs-at-birth younger sister... Her C-section recovery was not a piece of cake.

Ok guys, I don't want to fight this out all day, but really? Now we're going with "pity for the c/s babies"? FWIW, our babies didn't spend a minute alone in the nursery. DH and I held them in the OR as soon as they were born, then DH accompanied them to the nursery to get cleaned up, monitor blood sugar (I had GD), etc. They met me in recovery and we roomed-in from then on.

Just as many vaginal birth mommies send their babies off to the nursery for some rest after labor as c/s mommies. Come on, now.

hmp1 · July 2012

Neither of my OBs will do an elective first time csection so I only have researched in case of emergency. I am also not a fan of elective surgeries for myself.

FWIW, my vaginal delivery was totally fine. I had an epi and slept most of the day while my body labored. I did have a 3rd degree tear but was up walking that night and was shopping a couple days after being released.

I don't know all the rules of c/s but I know my SIL couldn't lift her toddler or drive for a couple of weeks. Also, once you have a c/s it is more difficult to have a VBAC so consider what your decision means for future births.

macy42 · July 2012

OP, the smartest thing to do is do research. Don't ask for other people's opinions. I personally cannot even begin to imagine having to have surgery in my abdomen region again- I had a really horrible recovery after a laproscopic surgery. Honestly, you need to understand all of the potential risks and make an informed decision based on your findings. Just because a couple of women on here had a 'fabulous' c/s and recovery, doesn't mean that yours will be; and vice versa. I haven't spent a lot of time researching c/s because I will only have one done if it's absolutely necessary, but I know the risk of infection is crazy high.

gingerfamily · July 2012

If you and your dr are on board, don't mind what other people say.

I've done it both ways. Honestly, the recovery from my c-section was a breeze. I was up and walking a few hours later.

And, FWIW, my baby wasn't alone once during my recovery period.

Dncr251 · July 2012

mlf625:
linzeek44:
JessAndTrav:

Also, I'm really looking forward to being able to hold our son right after he's born. You can't do that with a c/s. It's usually about an hour after.

I am a FTM and I've always been pretty petrified of pain, blood, needles, etc. But we went on our hospital tour and there was one little baby in the nursery (all the others were rooming in with mom). The baby had just been born within the hour via C-section and mom was in recovery. For whatever reason, that one adorable baby weighed really heavily on my heart and every day I hope for a vaginal birth so Eric doesn't spend his first hour by his lonesome in the nursery. (I know the baby was fine; it just got me.)

FWIW, my mother had a C-section with my twin sister and I because I was breech. She chose VBAC with my 10-lbs-at-birth younger sister... Her C-section recovery was not a piece of cake.

Ok guys, I don't want to fight this out all day, but really? Now we're going with "pity for the c/s babies"? FWIW, our babies didn't spend a minute alone in the nursery. DH and I held them in the OR as soon as they were born, then DH accompanied them to the nursery to get cleaned up, monitor blood sugar (I had GD), etc. They met me in recovery and we roomed-in from then on.

Just as many vaginal birth mommies send their babies off to the nursery for some rest after labor as c/s mommies. Come on, now.

This. I had an emergency c-section, but DS didn't spend any time alone in the nursery because of it. DH was with him the whole time and never let him out of his sight. I am having a repeat C/S due to medical issues, but to each their own on what you choose. I don't feel bad because DS had to be taken out via surgery, I'm just happy he came out breathing and as healthy as possible. My recovery wasn't that bad either. Yes, I was recovering from surgery which stinks, but I guess I was prepared for either situation and accepted that I would have to go through recovery either way.

monica92603 · July 2012

Well just YAY for the convenience of the elective c/section in So Cal Indifferent

FWIW....I had 2 sections. My first sucked, but I feel it was probably more the emotions of that we had lost the baby over the physical pain. I did not get out of bed for more than 24 hours. Big mistake. Get up asap.

My second was a freaking piece of cake. Again, I think I was on an emotional high b/c my baby girl was born healthy! I was itching to get up about 6 hours after surgery and the nurses actually had me wait a little longer. I took almost no pain meds where w/ my first I was on a morphine drip for over 24 hours.

Whatever works best and safest for you and your baby but I don't think I'd ever elect to have a c/section for no reason and I'm sorry but family coming into town to see you and your new baby is NOT a reason. Neither was my BFF's excuse of having an induction the week before her due date b/c she wanted to be home for Christmas so I'm not just picking on c/sections.

Angela Garis · July 2012

WOW!!! I had never posted on here before and thought I would try it out and see what others might think that have gone thru the process before.

I am a realist for sure and know that you have to take everything people say with a grain a salt as everyone has their take as well past experience! Thank you for those that have responded, really appreciate your take, especially those that have had both.

I know it must seem crazy to those to have someone CHOOSE to let someone cut into you BUT my experience has been that the ppl i know (which have been a few) have all had decent CS and recovery times. Of course I know it can be totally horrible too. ITs a risk and thats why I am trying to do the research. Honestly I feel like I could have to go thru all the work for Vag and end up having to have a CS anyway.

My classes are suppose to start tomorrow and so I am trying to really make decision as I don't need to tae them if Im doing the C, there is a class designed specifically for that. Guess this is common here in Newport Beach, i don't know.

Thanks again

linzeek44 · July 2012

mlf625:
Ok guys, I don't want to fight this out all day, but really? Now we're going with "pity for the c/s babies"? FWIW, our babies didn't spend a minute alone in the nursery. DH and I held them in the OR as soon as they were born, then DH accompanied them to the nursery to get cleaned up, monitor blood sugar (I had GD), etc. They met me in recovery and we roomed-in from then on.
Just as many vaginal birth mommies send their babies off to the nursery for some rest after labor as c/s mommies. Come on, now.

I certainly think you are lucky that you could hold them and your DH got to go with him. For whatever reason, that's not the policy at our hospital (and I asked; they said that DH could hold the baby but that most of the doctors don't have mom hold the baby until after they return from the nursery and mom is recovering in her postpartum room). It surprised me a lot, given that the general attitude at the hospital is one that encouraged babies to always be with family.

I'm not trying to sound as if I pity the baby; it's just that I look forward to holding our little guy so very much that if I were offered a choice (like the OP seems to be offered), that would weigh in my decision.

Then again, if a c-section gets me a healthy baby, I'll take it.

linzeek44 · July 2012

On that note, does anyone know why the doctors wouldn't let mom hold the baby before taking he/she to the nursery?

I probably should have asked WHY on the tour but I was trying to absorb everything else.

Flamingemu · July 2012

Angela Garis:
My classes are suppose to start tomorrow and so I am trying to really make decision as I don't need to tae them if Im doing the C, there is a class designed specifically for that. Guess this is common here in Newport Beach, i don't know.

Take the classes. Learn about both. Maybe that will help make your decision.

LilyGrad09 · July 2012

I've had a c-sec with my son for medical reasons. This time I'll be having another c-sec because it's what I want to do. My recovery was fine, I was walking the same day and yes I had some discomfort but my docs were even surprised how well I was doing.

While the first time wasn't too bad I've heard the second time around can be more difficult. I'm prepared either way. Do what you want to do, it's your body/baby/choice I'm not sure if my feeling would be the same if I was actually given the choice my first time around but to be honest I cried when they told me they had to do a c-sec. I didn't want one but my LOs health came first but now I'm choosing one.

Good luck with whatever you choose!

JessAndTrav · July 2012

mlf625:
linzeek44:
JessAndTrav:
Also, I'm really looking forward to being able to hold our son right after he's born. You can't do that with a c/s. It's usually about an hour after.
I am a FTM and I've always been pretty petrified of pain, blood, needles, etc. But we went on our hospital tour and there was one little baby in the nursery (all the others were rooming in with mom). The baby had just been born within the hour via C-section and mom was in recovery. For whatever reason, that one adorable baby weighed really heavily on my heart and every day I hope for a vaginal birth so Eric doesn't spend his first hour by his lonesome in the nursery. (I know the baby was fine; it just got me.)
FWIW, my mother had a C-section with my twin sister and I because I was breech. She chose VBAC with my 10-lbs-at-birth younger sister... Her C-section recovery was not a piece of cake.
Ok guys, I don't want to fight this out all day, but really? Now we're going with "pity for the c/s babies"? FWIW, our babies didn't spend a minute alone in the nursery. DH and I held them in the OR as soon as they were born, then DH accompanied them to the nursery to get cleaned up, monitor blood sugar (I had GD), etc. They met me in recovery and we roomed-in from then on.
Just as many vaginal birth mommies send their babies off to the nursery for some rest after labor as c/s mommies. Come on, now.

I don't think this was directed as much, but FTR, I'm not pitying the baby. I know that if we were to have a C/S, the baby isn't left alone (plenty of caring nurses around) and that DH gets to be with him.

I was just saying that if I have the power to choose, I'd rather have the option where I can actually BE with our baby, just because I want to be with him.

Bluebird2318 · July 2012

Well, I've never had a vaginal birth, so I can't give you any input in that regard. C-section was one of my biggest personal fears during my pregnancy, but it ended up being necessary for me. To be honest with you, my idea of a c-section before I had one was much worse than the reality of it. Recoveries exist all over the spectrum, but I am a little under two weeks out of surgery and I have no pain at all. For the first week the pain was mild and bearable. (The first time I had to pee after they removed the catheter was excruciating though.) I did hobble around like an old woman for a few days... My only real issue is that I do have some "numb spots" around my incision, which can happen with surgeries due to nerves being damaged in the process. That kind of numbness can take years to go away, or it may never go away completely. Admittedly, it creeps me out a bit when I brush my hand against the area, but otherwise I don't notice. Even though I didn't have a bad recovery experience, I still would probably opt for VBAC next time unless circumstances prevent it.

terri_doula2010 · July 2012

OP:

I have had a c-section and watched a bunch of vaginal births as a doula. I want a vaginal birth and am going for a VBAC this time. The thing is, after having it, you will never not have had major abdominal surgery. Some people, like mlf625, have fine c-sections and easy recoveries. Lots of people don't, and there is absolutely no way to know how you will feel during the surgery, in the weeks after the surgery, or in the years after the surgery until it has happened. If you ever get pregnant again, you will have to deal with your prior c-section, even if you want a VBAC. You'll be at higher risk for placenta previa, placenta accreta, and of course placenta abrupta. Those last two are a concern regardless of how you give birth. Accreta could lead to a hysterectomy. It is actually healthier for mom and baby to give birth vaginally: our bodies are designed to do it and our bodies react differently to a schedule c-section. I don't have time to get into all of that (again) right now, but do research on the hormones, etc, involved in birth.

I'm not even trying to scare you. That is just all true.

Mlf625: As I understand, you've had medical reasons to have your c-sections. I'm really really glad (honestly. No sarcasm here) that you had non-traumatic c-sections and easy recoveries. That is awesome, especially since you haven't had a choice. However, I hope at some point you can see the difference between encouraging someone who is faced with a medically necessitated c-section with your story, and thinking it is NBD for someone who is just trying to fit her birth into her schedule. Especially since you are quite lucky and everyone isn't, and there is absolutely no way to even know you'll be that lucky the third time, much less a completely different person.

If nothing else, consider this: there are c-section support groups across the country (ICAN, etc). I don't think I've been to a meeting yet (in 2 different chapters, always new/different people show up) where at least one person hasn't been in tears due to some aspect of her c-section. I've never heard of a vaginal delivery support group....and there is a big reason why.

damabo80 · July 2012

linzeek44:
On that note, does anyone know why the doctors wouldn't let mom hold the baby before taking he/she to the nursery?
I probably should have asked WHY on the tour but I was trying to absorb everything else.

My c section was under general anthe. So, I didn't get to see DD until the next day. Under general, dad can't be in the OR, so DH was in the waiting area. About 30 mins or so after birth, they wheeled her by him so he could get a quick look, then took him back to recovery so he was there when I woke.

Although, they had to take measures to revive her after birth, and i hemmoraged, so maybe it's a good thing DH wasnt in the OR to see that part.

So, while mine was more of an extreme case, I fell into the camp of not seeing DD for a full day.

linzeek44 · July 2012

damabo80:
linzeek44:
On that note, does anyone know why the doctors wouldn't let mom hold the baby before taking he/she to the nursery?
I probably should have asked WHY on the tour but I was trying to absorb everything else.
My c section was under general anthe. So, I didn't get to see DD until the next day. Under general, dad can't be in the OR, so DH was in the waiting area. About 30 mins or so after birth, they wheeled her by him so he could get a quick look, then took him back to recovery so he was there when I woke.
Although, they had to take measures to revive her after birth, and i hemmoraged, so maybe it's a good thing DH wasnt in the OR to see that part.
So, while mine was more of an extreme case, I fell into the camp of not seeing DD for a full day.

Thanks for answering my question with your experience; I appreciate it.

mlf625 · July 2012

terri_doula2010:
Mlf625: As I understand, you've had medical reasons to have your c-sections. I'm really really glad (honestly. No sarcasm here) that you had non-traumatic c-sections and easy recoveries. That is awesome, especially since you haven't had a choice. However, I hope at some point you can see the difference between encouraging someone who is faced with a medically necessitated c-section with your story, and thinking it is NBD for someone who is just trying to fit her birth into her schedule. Especially since you are quite lucky and everyone isn't, and there is absolutely no way to even know you'll be that lucky the third time, much less a completely different person.

But again - WHY do you care? I have friends who have hated their c/s, friends who have loved their c/s, friends who have hated their vaginal birth, and friends who have loved their vaginal birth. I DO think it is NBD for someone to choose the type of birth they want to put THEIR OWN BODY through, especially because there's no way of knowing beforehand how they'll feel about that birth later on, NO MATTER which way they choose. So it's not like by talking someone out of choosing a c/s you're saving them from trauma - their vaginal birth may suck worse than the c/s would've. Nobody knows.

And no, my c/s weren't medically necessary. Semi, but not totally - I had GD, I was 39w without progress, my doc didn't want me to go overdue. He offered to induce me, I didn't want to be induced with a bishop score of 0, I was more comfortable with the c/s and my OB agreed that it was a fine choice. So. Freaking. What.

There are support groups in part, imo, because of conversations like these. Women are made to feel like a$s about themselves if they don't do things in the way society expects them to do things, no matter their personal circumstances. If there wasn't this thinly veiled prejudice against c/s birthing, fewer women would see their c/s as anything less than what it was - bringing life into the world.

No offense to you in particular, terri, for real. I like you and I respect that you feel strongly one way, and I feel strongly the other. I hope your VBAC will be all you hope it to be, seriously.

hmp1 · July 2012

Angela Garis:
Honestly I feel like I could have to go thru all the work for Vag and end up having to have a CS anyway.

I'm assuming you are not planning a natural birth if you are considering an elective c/s so I'm not sure why you keep mentioning all the work of a vaginal delivery. Get an epi or another form of pain reliever and the laboring is fine. Even the pushing part was fine for me, so if they had to stop at that point and do a c/s I wouldn't think "oh I went through all this work for nothing".

melody921 · July 2012

I tore with DS, but I'd still choose vaginal birth any day over c-section. Surgery is just not natural, IMO, and it takes longer to recover from, which is harder, especially if you're a single mom. Unless there's a medical reason to go C-section, I'd say don't do it.

terri_doula2010 · July 2012

mlf625:
terri_doula2010:
Mlf625: As I understand, you've had medical reasons to have your c-sections. I'm really really glad (honestly. No sarcasm here) that you had non-traumatic c-sections and easy recoveries. That is awesome, especially since you haven't had a choice. However, I hope at some point you can see the difference between encouraging someone who is faced with a medically necessitated c-section with your story, and thinking it is NBD for someone who is just trying to fit her birth into her schedule. Especially since you are quite lucky and everyone isn't, and there is absolutely no way to even know you'll be that lucky the third time, much less a completely different person.
But again - WHY do you care? I have friends who have hated their c/s, friends who have loved their c/s, friends who have hated their vaginal birth, and friends who have loved their vaginal birth. I DO think it is NBD for someone to choose the type of birth they want to put THEIR OWN BODY through, especially because there's no way of knowing beforehand how they'll feel about that birth later on, NO MATTER which way they choose. So it's not like by talking someone out of choosing a c/s you're saving them from trauma - their vaginal birth may suck worse than the c/s would've. Nobody knows.
And no, my c/s weren't medically necessary. Semi, but not totally - I had GD, I was 39w without progress, my doc didn't want me to go overdue. He offered to induce me, I didn't want to be induced with a bishop score of 0, I was more comfortable with the c/s and my OB agreed that it was a fine choice. So. Freaking. What.
There are support groups in part, imo, because of conversations like these. Women are made to feel like a$s about themselves if they don't do things in the way society expects them to do things, no matter their personal circumstances. If there wasn't this thinly veiled prejudice against c/s birthing, fewer women would see their c/s as anything less than what it was - bringing life into the world.
No offense to you in particular, terri, for real. I like you and I respect that you feel strongly one way, and I feel strongly the other. I hope your VBAC will be all you hope it to be, seriously.

Here's the thing...whenever you or anyone else posts about scheduling your c/s or anything else, I don't say a word. However, if someone (like OP), comes in here asking opinions, then heck yeah me and a lot of other people are going to give our opinions and experiences.

I research stuff like this as a job. It is a big deal for me. I have scientific reasons behind why I didn't schedule my c-section, even though I knew it was coming. I did what I thought was best for me and my baby. I totally think you should do the same. But again, part of my job is to be a birth advocate and inform others, so that is why I answer questions like this one that are posed here. I'm ridiculous in some ways and I know that, but I actually worry about strangers on the internet far more than I should.

As for the support groups, you truly don't know how lucky you are to have such great experiences. If you ever really curious, go to some ICAN meetings. I assure you the majority of the women I meet there (and myself included) aren't there because they are made to feel bad by anyone about their c-sections.

The woman who I met on Saturday who was crying was there because her bladder was nicked during her c-section and she isn't even sure what happened, but 11 months later she still has constant bladder pain (not incontinence, pain). She has seen 2 urologists and it is better than it was, but it is still something she has to work on constantly. She ended up being hospitalized due to infection (from the c-section) a few days after she went home and the hospital (for some reason) wouldn't let her keep her baby with her for the first 2 of those days. When she gets pregnant again she wants a VBAC and the doctors that are most recommended for VBACs in this area for VBACs deliver at the same hospital she had her terrible experience at, and just the idea of walking back into that hospital freaks her out.

I could go on and tell lots of horror stories of people I've met in real life, just by going to these meetings. I won't, because that isn't the purpose of this thread. But really, mlf...everyone who has a trauma-free c-section is super lucky. Some people on the internet thinking c-sections are bad is the least of our problems.

Also? In my case the far bigger problem was everyone who said, "It doesn't matter that you had a c-section. The only thing that matters is that you have a healthy baby." Every time someone says that, it makes the mom feel like crap for her feelings, like she isn't loving her baby enough, and shuts down an avenue where she can talk about and process her emotions. It is VERY important that the baby is healthy. It is also important that the mom didn't die and even better if she is actually healthy. Her reactions to her c-section are still valid and her emotions still matter, and trivializing that isn't fair to her.

CatBus · July 2012

terri_doula2010:
mlf625:
terri_doula2010:
Mlf625: As I understand, you've had medical reasons to have your c-sections. I'm really really glad (honestly. No sarcasm here) that you had non-traumatic c-sections and easy recoveries. That is awesome, especially since you haven't had a choice. However, I hope at some point you can see the difference between encouraging someone who is faced with a medically necessitated c-section with your story, and thinking it is NBD for someone who is just trying to fit her birth into her schedule. Especially since you are quite lucky and everyone isn't, and there is absolutely no way to even know you'll be that lucky the third time, much less a completely different person.
But again - WHY do you care? I have friends who have hated their c/s, friends who have loved their c/s, friends who have hated their vaginal birth, and friends who have loved their vaginal birth. I DO think it is NBD for someone to choose the type of birth they want to put THEIR OWN BODY through, especially because there's no way of knowing beforehand how they'll feel about that birth later on, NO MATTER which way they choose. So it's not like by talking someone out of choosing a c/s you're saving them from trauma - their vaginal birth may suck worse than the c/s would've. Nobody knows.
And no, my c/s weren't medically necessary. Semi, but not totally - I had GD, I was 39w without progress, my doc didn't want me to go overdue. He offered to induce me, I didn't want to be induced with a bishop score of 0, I was more comfortable with the c/s and my OB agreed that it was a fine choice. So. Freaking. What.
There are support groups in part, imo, because of conversations like these. Women are made to feel like a$s about themselves if they don't do things in the way society expects them to do things, no matter their personal circumstances. If there wasn't this thinly veiled prejudice against c/s birthing, fewer women would see their c/s as anything less than what it was - bringing life into the world.
No offense to you in particular, terri, for real. I like you and I respect that you feel strongly one way, and I feel strongly the other. I hope your VBAC will be all you hope it to be, seriously.
Here's the thing...whenever you or anyone else posts about scheduling your c/s or anything else, I don't say a word. However, if someone (like OP), comes in here asking opinions, then heck yeah me and a lot of other people are going to give our opinions and experiences.
I research stuff like this as a job. It is a big deal for me. I have scientific reasons behind why I didn't schedule my c-section, even though I knew it was coming. I did what I thought was best for me and my baby. I totally think you should do the same. But again, part of my job is to be a birth advocate and inform others, so that is why I answer questions like this one that are posed here. I'm ridiculous in some ways and I know that, but I actually worry about strangers on the internet far more than I should.
As for the support groups, you truly don't know how lucky you are to have such great experiences. If you ever really curious, go to some ICAN meetings. I assure you the majority of the women I meet there (and myself included) aren't there because they are made to feel bad by anyone about their c-sections.
The woman who I met on Saturday who was crying was there because her bladder was nicked during her c-section and she isn't even sure what happened, but 11 months later she still has constant bladder pain (not incontinence, pain). She has seen 2 urologists and it is better than it was, but it is still something she has to work on constantly. She ended up being hospitalized due to infection (from the c-section) a few days after she went home and the hospital (for some reason) wouldn't let her keep her baby with her for the first 2 of those days. When she gets pregnant again she wants a VBAC and the doctors that are most recommended for VBACs in this area for VBACs deliver at the same hospital she had her terrible experience at, and just the idea of walking back into that hospital freaks her out.
I could go on and tell lots of horror stories of people I've met in real life, just by going to these meetings. I won't, because that isn't the purpose of this thread. But really, mlf...everyone who has a trauma-free c-section is super lucky. Some people on the internet thinking c-sections are bad is the least of our problems.
Also? In my case the far bigger problem was everyone who said, "It doesn't matter that you had a c-section. The only thing that matters is that you have a healthy baby." Every time someone says that, it makes the mom feel like crap for her feelings, like she isn't loving her baby enough, and shuts down an avenue where she can talk about and process her emotions. It is VERY important that the baby is healthy. It is also important that the mom didn't die and even better if she is actually healthy. Her reactions to her c-section are still valid and her emotions still matter, and trivializing that isn't fair to her.

Yes

And I know it's already been said, but people care whether others are having elective c-sections because it is a major surgery, and does pose risks to both the mother and baby. No one here is opposed to c-sections when medically recommended/required, as that generally means there is some real risk to mom or baby if a vaginal birth is attempted. But to choose a c-section for convenience's sake brings in many risks, and does seem selfish. There are reasons most doctors are ethically opposed to elective c-sections and will refuse patients' requests for them.

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