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May 2012 Moms
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MIL moved

Heather2256Heather2256
in May 2012 Moms

Find it weird that she moves the day after she chewed DH out about the baby. Apparently she got onto him about us not letting her babysit DD, be in our house or visit. Which, first of all, we never said those things to her. She told DH we didn't have to say it. She wasn't over for ONE week & this is what happens. Last Monday she came over & yeah, I pretty much didn't let her in b/c DD was sleeping & DH just got back from having his wisdom teeth pulled. It wasn't a good time & I told her so. Then Friday she came over & I just opened the door for her & yelled to DH that she was here (my ?Doorbells need to be illegal? post).

 

DH told her, that when it comes to her visiting, we didn?t want a lot of visitors the first month after DD was born. MIL said, ?Well Heather?s family gets to visit.? DH told her, yeah, that was a couple times (My dad once, mom twice & sister 2 or 3 times ? my mom & sister came over those times to bring stuff over that I needed.) MIL goes, ?Well I only came over like 5 times.? (Sorry ? 5 times over the course of a month? No. She came over 5 times over the course of a week - & that?s just one week! Complete bull.) DH told her that yeah & he drove her each time. Plus my family only stayed for a few minutes - not hours like her.

 

So yeah. Apparently she moved out of her mom?s house today & in with one of her AA friends. When DH told me where I thought it was a ways away. Nope. Only a 20 minute drive. The same distance as her mom?s house. I guess at least she isn?t living in the same city as us!

 

It just kills me because we?ve done so much for her. She?s lived here how many times. She?s stayed the night here A LOT ? if it wasn?t for us letting her stay here then she wouldn?t have been able to do her community service. And we?ve driven her around a lot. And what do we get in return? Inconsideration & disrespect. I don?t know why I expect any differently. It?s how any of DH?s family acts towards us after we?ve done anything for them. I just know I?m not helping her any more. 

<a href="http://s1076.photobucket.com/albums/w446/Heather2256/Leslie 1 Month Old/?action=view
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Re: MIL moved

  • MelissaMisoMelissaMiso member
    Whew! She's an exhausting person. Keep your boundaries firm. Since you are not doing anything intentionally to hurt her, you are not responsible for her feelings. I hope you and your hubby consider Al-anon meetings for yourselves (if you don't already attend). You don't need to be living with the AA member to benefit from the support. It can be invaluable, even if you can't attend regularly.

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  • k8edgertonk8edgerton member
    Does she ever call first to see if it is a good time?

    If people just randomly showed up at my house I would be pissed. Everyone calls first...
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  • najzomaxnajzomax member

    imagek8edgerton:
    Does she ever call first to see if it is a good time?

    If people just randomly showed up at my house I would be pissed. Everyone calls first...

    THIS! No one comes over unless they call first... Family included. 

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  • Heather2256Heather2256

    imageMelissaMiso:
    Whew! She's an exhausting person. Keep your boundaries firm. Since you are not doing anything intentionally to hurt her, you are not responsible for her feelings. I hope you and your hubby consider Al-anon meetings for yourselves (if you don't already attend). You don't need to be living with the AA member to benefit from the support. It can be invaluable, even if you can't attend regularly.

    I've asked DH about her going to AA meetings. Because I never knew she had a problem. He says she did while he was growing up. I asked why she's just NOW going to meetings (She just started a couple months ago). He says she just goes because it's something to do.  

    <a href="http://s1076.photobucket.com/albums/w446/Heather2256/Leslie 1 Month Old/?action=view
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  • Heather2256Heather2256
    imagenajzomax:

    imagek8edgerton:
    Does she ever call first to see if it is a good time?

    If people just randomly showed up at my house I would be pissed. Everyone calls first...

    THIS! No one comes over unless they call first... Family included. 

    Yeah. My family ALWAYS calls first. Heck, sometimes it's even planned days in advance. Sometimes she calls. But even if no one answers she'll still come over. Which is why I now try to make sure the door is locked. Because if it's not then she'll just walk right on in. And if she can't find either of us in the living room then she goes right into our bedrooms. Oh and her version of knocking before entering a room? Saying "knock knock" as she's walking into the room.You'd almost think she owned the place or something.  

    <a href="http://s1076.photobucket.com/albums/w446/Heather2256/Leslie 1 Month Old/?action=view
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