- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
December 2011 Moms
ccip82
member
Since it is MIL Monday...
ccip82
member
I love my inlaws...seriously, but MIL made me slightly upset this weekend. Both DH's parents are semi retired (they work a couple days a week at Barnes and Nobles). Last week MIL emailed me saying that she really misses E and wants her and I to fly back to Texas in November so we can spend time with them. She offered to pay for our ticket. We are already flying back in August for BIL wedding and will be spending a week with them.
My issue is, if she can pay for the ticket, why doesn't she come out to Scotland and visit us? She is not too old to travel by any means and is still quite active. It just would be hard for me to fly by myself with an almost one year old internationally. DH does not have enough vacation time to join us. Also, we wouldn't let her pay for the ticket, she already does so much for DD with clothes, toys etc. Am I being selfish?
Anyone else have a MIL vent?
________________________________________________________________________________________________
sibling love
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Since it is MIL Monday...
I can't even imagine traveling that far by myself with a little one!
Since the money clearly isn't the issue, have you asked her if she'd consider coming to you instead, and then that way your DH can see her too? If she says no, I'd be interested to know what her excuse is.
These were her reasonings.
She does not like to fly, but will do it a couple times a year to visit family in the US. I understand that being a legitimate reason to some extent because I have flying anxiety too...November is also the beginning of holiday hours at Barnes and Nobles, so it would be hard for her to take off work.
Lastly, and I think most important, BIL's wife is due with their 3rd baby in the beginning of November (they live in same town as MIL) and we could get the chance to meet and see her or him...but i just told my best friend that we could not make her wedding in December because money would be tight and DH could not get time off from work, so I do not think that flying back to see inlaws and the new baby is fair.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
sibling love
Yes, DH was transferred here for work in April. We plan to be here 3-4 years.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
sibling love
I'm exhausted about just thinking of you packing up with DD for a trip! I don't know about everyone else but just going to the store with DS has gotten more of a PITA. I feel like we move out each time anymore.
For some reason I want to give your MIL the benefit of the doubt. I don't think you're being selfish at all. There's no way I'd make a habit of dragging my baby (and allllll the baby stuff) back and forth just because MIL wants you too. I'm hoping your MIL just isn't thinking it through and even might be thinking you're bored and lonely in a new country and might jump at the opportunity (not saying you are or your should want to). I'd just plain tell her it's a lot of work and she's welcome to come before the holiday season or after. Hopefully that would put an end to the guilt trip, etc. If anyone is being selfish here it's her.
Do I have a MIL vent---Not really. But I do have a bit of a confession. MIL/FIL/and BIL (32 year old that never leaves their side) came to visit DS last night. MIL is forever saying things like "I just want to see the baby, I don't need to see you guys". They were supposed to come at 5:30 and after 6 I told DH that I was tired of waiting and I was going to go take a nice long shower. Rude? Possibly. But I didn't care at all yesterday. I spent the whole day cleaning for them to show up. I was exhausted and not in the mood for the normal jabs and comments. When I had gotten dressed to "join the party" DH had told them I wasn't feeling the greatest. Now MIL is insisting I'm pregnant.
I would have been slightly annoyed too if I spent time cleaning for company and they were really late. Especially if they wanted to spend time with your LO. I don't know about you, but we start our bedtime routine around 7:30-8:00. If we don't, DD starts getting really cranky. Your inlaws coming so late probably did not give them too much time to spend with DS which as you said was their whole point on coming in the first place!
________________________________________________________________________________________________
sibling love
I think it's nice of your MIL to offer to pay for your flight, but I really think it makes more sense to come to you. It will be way more difficult for you to travel alone with a baby and all of the things you will need than for one adult to come to you.
I hardly ever have a MIL vent of my own, but mine is on my last nerve. She is generally more than I could ever ask for, but sometimes she gets in these moods. For brevity's sake: We were without power for an extended amount of time due to those horrible storms a week ago, and had made arrangements that worked for myself and the baby, and my mother (who is our full-time caregiver while I am at work). However, MIL is now a bit put out that we didn't come to her house and do it her way (which in all honesty probably WAS the better option, but not what we WANTED to do.) She has also decided our dog is fearful and dangerous because he wouldn't use the stairs at her house. 1. He's never been there before. 2. He's only used carpeted stairs before and rarely has to use them at all. Her stairs are not carpeted. 3. He was all confused from being carted from one place to the next because of the power outages. She is always badmouthing him in general though, and that really irritates me.
And you should have seen the text she sent me about "You are to come to MY house and bring that baby. And your mother can watch him here. Don't be so silly." Ugh. I think that since she's known me since I was 15, she thinks I'm still a child. I will probably never hear the end of this now. Also, she is now bring us Cesar Milan's stupid magazines so we can train our dog better.
Really, she's mostly great. But the last week of having no power and being all out of whack has gotten on everyone's last nerves. Hopefully this week we will get back to normal and we can get past all this stupid stuff.