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Update: WWYD Dr visit gone terribly wrong

Mrs.HAWMrs.HAW member
in Natural Birth

So, thanks for all of the encouragement and advice.  It really showed me how serious this could be.  I called the office manager this morning, and told her what happened.  Of course I got emotional and cried on the phone so now I feel like a total basket-case.  The office manager really latched on to my "this may have just been a misunderstanding" explanation and said she would have the nurse practitioner call me back.  

At first I was OK with that, and then on second thought I decided I would rather not speak to that person again. I told her I just wanted someone to know and mention it to the NP so that I feel like I stood up for myself somehow.  I told her I didn't feel like the NP was really listening to me, and the office manager seemed surprised and mentioned that she is usually really in tune with patient needs.  

I will probably let it go after this, but it really sucks that this happened.  At least at my next visit I have the option to just not get undressed.

 Anyway, thanks for listening and lending me some of your mama strength ladies :) 

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Re: Update: WWYD Dr visit gone terribly wrong

  • LindseyJWLindseyJW member

    i just read your OP. my goodness, mad is not even the word. this is a clear example of medical assault. You said NO, she did it anyway without regard to your wishes. this is a clear violation and her actions should be reported to not just to your OB's office, but also to her licensing board. 

    it shouldn't matter how many children she has had or how sensitive and in tune she's been with other moms. she violated you, she violated your stated wishes. she performed a medical procedure without your consent and worse, after you said no. i hate hearing about this type of thing happening and people just don't believe that it does. you are not alone. but until we start speaking up, writing these letters, filing official reports of assault, nothing will ever be done about it.

     i'm so sorry this happened to you.  

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  • nurrieumnurrieum member

    I just wanted to say how incredibly sorry I am that that happened to you. I have personal issues where necessary pelvic exams can give me panic attacks- I can't imagine how you'd feel.

    I certainly hope the office manager wasn't just trying to cover a$$ but that's how that appeared to me. She didn't need to be making any excuses for the NP at all. 

    It's good of you to let it go and not let it continue to bother you- however I'm wondering if this has happened to other women. If it's something you feel comfortable with- I would report her.

    Good luck. I'm terribly sorry that you had to go through this experience period.


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  • KayaXavierKayaXavier
    Good for you for advocating for yourself and calling to report it. Hope you're doing well in processing and working through to a place of trust so that you can have the birth experience you are hoping for.
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  • nosoup4unosoup4u member
    That sounds really dismissve, in all honesty. Is there someone else at the office you can talk to about what happened? Bc chances are, she's bullied other women, too.
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  • iris427iris427 member

    imagenosoup4u:
    That sounds really dismissve, in all honesty. Is there someone else at the office you can talk to about what happened? Bc chances are, she's bullied other women, too.

    Yeah, ugh.  Is there a doctor you see regularly?  Examining you after you said no is not OK and they should not handle it by having the NP call you.  Not acceptable.

    And for future reference, you can do your own GBS swab.  I don't know why they don't just have women swab themselves so no one has to get naked in the first place. 

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  • CTri17CTri17 member

    imagenosoup4u:
    That sounds really dismissve, in all honesty. Is there someone else at the office you can talk to about what happened? Bc chances are, she's bullied other women, too.

    yeah, it sounded dismissive to me as well. I think you need to report her to a licensing board or something else. 

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  • HyalineHyaline member
    Just wanted to say, good for you for saying something.  If you haven't, I would follow through on your idea in the OP about requesting she not be present at future visits.  I imagine the office manager would be understanding on that point, regardless of what caused the problem. 
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