High Needs Baby

FyreFlyeRush · July 2012

Looking for ways to soothe a super cranky baby, I stumbled across Dr. Sears description of a "High Needs Baby". I felt like they'd been spying on my pregnancy and baby. Cranky Hanky as we've been calling him fit every description...straight down to the part where he talked about all the other babies in the nursery sleeping peacefully in their basinetts...and yours screaming and flailing his fists until in sheer desperation, the nurse takes him to a different nurse...MOM, and he calms down.

Its been a LONG five weeks. He cries all the time. Won't sleep unless he's held. He's in constant motion. Nurses for hours at night. And, no night time trick works two nights in a row. If I didn't live with my parents, I'd be insane. Sometimes, the only way I can eat or pee is if they hold him!

livinreality · July 2012

LO is high needs too, it sucks... you are not alone. I hate when people say we are spoiling him by holding him all the time... guess they would just let a newborn scream all the time?

Hang in there fussiness is suppose to peak at about 6 weeks, so hopefully things will get better! Have you discussed this with your pedi? Have you looked into reflux? Or food allergies? Removing milk from my diet definitely made a big difference.

MrsJaimebeth · July 2012

i could have written the exact post....but now at almost 12 weeks, it's a world of difference..I promise!!! We swaddled, and she broke out,,,got the rock n play..and that helped some...but we held her all day...i even went to the bathroom holding her (as no one was home with me during the day)...although i can thank the reflux meds for some of the difference..i think the age helps too...he will be more fun, cry less and enjoy life more...I PROMISE

also, just recently i tried the miracle blanket and OMG...slept for 9 hours the first night I did it...now she's even off to about 5-7 hours a night, so it's still good...hang in there..it gets better...i have living proof of it

and, even though it was only a few weeks prior, I kind of already forgot how miserable our days were...

FyreFlyeRush · July 2012

He's a regular Houdini. IF he's in the mood, and it's a big IF, I can swaddle him super tightly and he'll calm down enough to sleep for about 20 minutes. Then, if he stirs while he's swaddled and can't move, he SCREAMS like I'm torturing him. If I do it loosely, he breaks free. For the most part, however, he HATES being swaddled. He wants to be moving, looking around, held, walked, rocked, standing (?!?!), sitting watching TV, watching ppl, watching the curtains...anything else and he's screaming. We're talking top of the lungs, screaming until there's no breath left, shaking with sub-subs when it stops.

Dont get me wrong, I love my little Drama King. Just, right now, on maternity leave, I want nothing more than an hour of someone else holding him. He won't have it. I get 20-30 minutes tops.

lovetohike · July 2012

Baby E is pretty high needs too. Sooooo different from ODS. ODS rarely cried.. Pretty much never cried. E is a drama king too. All the baby heat is worthless.. E only wants to be held. He doesn't scream all day.. But that's just because he is beig held. I am pretty sure he has reflux. We are out if state until next month though poor baby spits up all the time.. And the gas.. Oh the has, poor lil man. I wasn't expecting a high needs baby since ODS was sooooo easy. Ah well

lovetohike · July 2012

Stupid autocorrect.. Baby gear is worthless! LOL and he has bad gas!

ElinJ · July 2012

livinreality:
LO is high needs too, it sucks... you are not alone. I hate when people say we are spoiling him by holding him all the time... guess they would just let a newborn scream all the time?
Hang in there fussiness is suppose to peak at about 6 weeks, so hopefully things will get better! Have you discussed this with your pedi? Have you looked into reflux? Or food allergies? Removing milk from my diet definitely made a big difference.

OMG yes to the bolded part. "Oh you're gonna spoil that baby!" And I think people don't believe me when I say HE.HAS.TO.BE.HELD. until they see it.

My LO isn't quite "high needs" but definitely high maintenance. We can pretty much always calm him, but only with a LOT of work. We must hold him a certain way, bounce & walk around vigorously, AND sing to him. Today I had to hold him all day. Sometimes if he managed to fall asleep I'd hold him & try ever so gently to transfer him to crib/boppy/bouncy seat, and NADA. It never worked no matter how long he'd been asleep in my arms.

FyreFlyeRush · July 2012

ElinJ:
livinreality:
LO is high needs too, it sucks... you are not alone. I hate when people say we are spoiling him by holding him all the time... guess they would just let a newborn scream all the time?
Hang in there fussiness is suppose to peak at about 6 weeks, so hopefully things will get better! Have you discussed this with your pedi? Have you looked into reflux? Or food allergies? Removing milk from my diet definitely made a big difference.
OMG yes to the bolded part. "Oh you're gonna spoil that baby!" And I think people don't believe me when I say HE.HAS.TO.BE.HELD. until they see it.
My LO isn't quite "high needs" but definitely high maintenance. We can pretty much always calm him, but only with a LOT of work. We must hold him a certain way, bounce & walk around vigorously, AND sing to him. Today I had to hold him all day. Sometimes if he managed to fall asleep I'd hold him & try ever so gently to transfer him to crib/boppy/bouncy seat, and NADA. It never worked no matter how long he'd been asleep in my arms.

Lol, that sounds high needs to me! You should look up the article. 12 Features of A High Need Baby. Talks about their shock and panic after three easy babies when their daughter Hayden came along. Changed everything.

ELF4321 · July 2012

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time-- a friend's son was like this for the first few months, and then, almost like a switch, he calmed down and has been totally fine ever since then. I hope your little man decides to chill out soon. I can't even imagine how hard it is to keep your sanity in this situation. ((hugs))

livinreality · July 2012

FyreFlyeRush:
Dont get me wrong, I love my little Drama King. Just, right now, on maternity leave, I want nothing more than an hour of someone else holding him. He won't have it. I get 20-30 minutes tops.

I would hire an experienced mom as a sitter at least once a week and if nothing else run to starbucks and get a coffee just to get a break. I leave LO with DH for at least an hour a week just for sanity, I don't really do much but normally I run a quick errand like get gas in my car or take a walk but just enjoy some quiet time.

kami1977 · July 2012

My baby is younger but I think she may have a slight case of colic in the evenings. I've found taking her outside in the evenings seems to help a bit. Maybe you can get someone to take him for a walk or out in the early morning or evening. I know it' s really hot but I just put DD in a onesie for outings.

PotomacSt · July 2012

Sorry you are dealing with this- it is HARD. My daughter hasn't been quite as challenging as your son, but she also needs to be held to nap and would cry for hours every evening. Now at two months it is starting to get better and I feel like I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm glad you have the support of your parents - I can't imagine doing this alone. My husband went out of town for six days when she was six weeks old and I packed up the baby, my 75 lb dog, and an SUV full to the ceiling of baby crap and spent the week at my parents' house. I think they thought I was nuts at first, but after spending a week with her, they understood!

ElinJ · July 2012

FyreFlyeRush:
ElinJ:
livinreality:
LO is high needs too, it sucks... you are not alone. I hate when people say we are spoiling him by holding him all the time... guess they would just let a newborn scream all the time?
Hang in there fussiness is suppose to peak at about 6 weeks, so hopefully things will get better! Have you discussed this with your pedi? Have you looked into reflux? Or food allergies? Removing milk from my diet definitely made a big difference.
OMG yes to the bolded part. "Oh you're gonna spoil that baby!" And I think people don't believe me when I say HE.HAS.TO.BE.HELD. until they see it.
My LO isn't quite "high needs" but definitely high maintenance. We can pretty much always calm him, but only with a LOT of work. We must hold him a certain way, bounce & walk around vigorously, AND sing to him. Today I had to hold him all day. Sometimes if he managed to fall asleep I'd hold him & try ever so gently to transfer him to crib/boppy/bouncy seat, and NADA. It never worked no matter how long he'd been asleep in my arms.
Lol, that sounds high needs to me! You should look up the article. 12 Features of A High Need Baby. Talks about their shock and panic after three easy babies when their daughter Hayden came along. Changed everything.

Haha, perhaps you're right. He's not like that ALL the time, but certainly there are periods of every day he's like that. Funny thing is I often warn visitors "My photos on Facebook are deceiving! He's REALLY fussy." And whaddya know, he's a freaking angel when they're here. But, oddly when my FIL is here, he's always really fussy. LOL, gives me an excuse to disappear.

Marcilene1 · July 2012

I am so sorry you're going through this. It sucks. DD is the epitome of high needs as described by Dr. Sears. I can't tell you that it gets easier, but it does get different lol. For now, get help when you can (my parents are also a life saver!) Baby wearing and co-sleeping saved my sanity in the early months. Now she is getting molars and we are back to co-sleeping. It's not perfect, but it beats walking or driving for hours in the middle of night like we were doing a few weeks ago. Anyway, I can say that she is a very special little girl. She is so bright, so kind, so imaginative. It's awesome to be her mom, but it is exhausting. I guess there is no point to this post except to offer my sympathy and congratulations on having an awesome and exhausting high needs child

babyruth88 · July 2012

Im sorry

. I think were in the same boat my ava is a total high needs screaming baby. I keep waiting for the miracle day i keep hearing about that the screaming just stop lol. Until then im considering investing in earmuffs hahaha my dd thinks shes an opera star

.she even hits soprano lol. Hope it gets better soon for you

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