WWYD: Dr. visit went terribly wrong

Mrs.HAW · July 2012

I've posted a few times in the past, and you ladies are super-helpful. I'm wondering if I should complain to the office manager about something that happened at my OB's office today. I saw a nurse practitioner that is new with the practice. This practice is the type that has multiple Drs and you may get any of them when it comes time to deliver. I've had nothing but positive interactions with all the Drs prior to today's appointment. This is my second pregnancy, and while the office IS somewhat impersonal I always feel like I am respected and listened to during my visits.

So the nurse practitioner rubbed me the wrong way. I'm 35 weeks today, and wanted to be tested for GBS. I was positive last time and just want to be prepared for it. No big deal. I also didn't want my cervix checked and thought I made this clear. So she swabs around, then grabs the jelly and I say, "Oh, I don't want an exam", but she just continues and says, "lots of pressure" and does the cervical check anyway!! She totally acts like she didn't hear me! I'm flabbergasted and pissed, but I didn't show it at all. What is wrong with me!? So now I'm wondering if I should make a phone call and at least feel like I'm standing up for myself somehow.

Luckily this person does not deliver babies She has had 5 natural births, and her "advice" to me was that if I could make it to 8 cm I'd be fine, but "will probably want to die"....

I think I just needed to vent, but any advice you ladies have about how to handle this would be appreciated. TIA

CTri17 · July 2012

um yes, absolutely report that to the office manager, write a complaint and I'd escalate it if need be. That is totally unacceptable.

There is no reason for a check at 35 weeks AND YOU SAID NO.

I'm ticked for you

punkrockabye · July 2012

Absolutely, without a doubt, call. And make it clear that you expect to hear some follow up. I know this was a medical visit, but please consider this: someone penetrated you after you had explicitly said NO to it. Even if it was a doctor (or, okay, a nurse), it is still a form of assault, by definition. There is nothing that is okay about what happened.

3003girl · July 2012

Did she hear you? It is a possibility because it just seems so odd. Did she tell you why she checked? I would talk to the office manager and tell them what happened and that you didn't say anything because you were shocked and flabbergasted.

alimaried · July 2012

I agree, that is completely unacceptable! I tend to be a bit timid and may not have confronted her directly either. But you do deserve to be heard and should definitely let the office know about her unwarranted behavior. I'd guess that you're not the first person she's been insensitive or pushy with. You'll feel better if you get it off your chest.

AnaKat405 · July 2012

punkrockabye:
Absolutely, without a doubt, call. And make it clear that you expect to hear some follow up. I know this was a medical visit, but please consider this: someone penetrated you after you had explicitly said NO to it. Even if it was a doctor (or, okay, a nurse), it is still a form of assault, by definition. There is nothing that is okay about what happened.

This. Good grief!

BakerMommy · July 2012

punkrockabye:
Absolutely, without a doubt, call. And make it clear that you expect to hear some follow up. I know this was a medical visit, but please consider this: someone penetrated you after you had explicitly said NO to it. Even if it was a doctor (or, okay, a nurse), it is still a form of assault, by definition. There is nothing that is okay about what happened.

ITA. Report her!

LaurelBee · July 2012

I'm so sorry this happened to you! How awful.

GL mama

Mrs.HAW · July 2012

solidio:
Did she hear you? It is a possibility because it just seems so odd. Did she tell you why she checked? I would talk to the office manager and tell them what happened and that you didn't say anything because you were shocked and flabbergasted.

I also wonder if she actually didn't hear me. It seemed like she didn't listen or was just dense to be honest.

I asked why cervical checks would be necessary and she said to feel baby's position. Which she couldn't today because my cervix was closed, as it should be at 35 weeks!

fyziksgirl · July 2012

CTri17:
um yes, absolutely report that to the office manager, write a complaint and I'd escalate it if need be. That is totally unacceptable.
There is no reason for a check at 35 weeks AND YOU SAID NO.
I'm ticked for you

All of this. Wow.

judahsmommy1 · July 2012

Mrs.HAW:
solidio:
Did she hear you? It is a possibility because it just seems so odd. Did she tell you why she checked? I would talk to the office manager and tell them what happened and that you didn't say anything because you were shocked and flabbergasted.
I also wonder if she actually didn't hear me. It seemed like she didn't listen or was just dense to be honest.
I asked why cervical checks would be necessary and she said to feel baby's position. Which she couldn't today because my cervix was closed, as it should be at 35 weeks!

BS!!! They feel for babies position externally and if they can't determine it that way they check via ultrasound. You should ABSOLUTELY report her! I would also suggest requesting that she not be present at any further exams. I would clarify that you have appreciated your experiences with the doctors at the practice and have felt nothing but respected by them.

By the way, it is HER responsibility to confirm that you are comfortable with the exam NOT the other way around. You should be given every opportunity to decline it and she should be LISTENING for it. So her 'not hearing' is no excuse. It is her responsibility to hear that. Period. There is absolutely no excuse.

vflipo · July 2012

CTri17:
um yes, absolutely report that to the office manager, write a complaint and I'd escalate it if need be. That is totally unacceptable.
There is no reason for a check at 35 weeks AND YOU SAID NO.
I'm ticked for you

Ditto.

MommyMelRN · July 2012

punkrockabye:
Absolutely, without a doubt, call. And make it clear that you expect to hear some follow up. I know this was a medical visit, but please consider this: someone penetrated you after you had explicitly said NO to it. Even if it was a doctor (or, okay, a nurse), it is still a form of assault, by definition. There is nothing that is okay about what happened.

Exactly what I was thinking when I read this!

sschwege · July 2012

CTri17:
um yes, absolutely report that to the office manager, write a complaint and I'd escalate it if need be. That is totally unacceptable.
There is no reason for a check at 35 weeks AND YOU SAID NO.
I'm ticked for you

Exactly!

I kind of consider myself a little spineless when it comes to a lot of things, but I would absolutely report her without hesitation!

Blackrose1918 · July 2012

Totally unacceptable! I would definitely report that. You said "no" and she ignored you. When it comes to stuff like that, it's kind of a big deal. Also, the "you'll probably want to die" comment was pretty nasty and unnecessary.

robyn2201 · July 2012

I am sorry that she didn't listen to you at all! What she did was wrong and I am glad you spoke up for yourself!

nosoup4u · July 2012

Call and tell someone about it so it doesn't happen to another woman. That's assult, no joke. I would also look into reporting her to whatever licensing board she reports to.

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