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Potty: why dont they get it??

NJLHNJLH member
in Pre-School and Daycare
Thanks for listening to my vent again, girls. A few weeks ago, I posted I was doing 3 day training, round 3 with my 3.5 year olds. I tried to follow it strictly (did pullups for sleep) and they peed all day in their underwear or on the floor when naked. Since then, I've tried to stick with it in the house, but I had to get out eventually on errands and stuff. Its been weeks now and they have yet to ever tell me they have to pee. They do ok with poop (I guess it takes longer). With pee, I'm lucky to catch them at the right time. I just dont understand why they dont know the feeling of having to go. Dont get me started on rewards, etc. They've gotten way more than they deserve. Is there something wrong with these 2 that they dont have the potty gene? Sorry for my ramble...I'm just fed up.
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Re: Potty: why dont they get it??

  • jw87jw87 member
    This may be a strange question but do they still drink out of a sippy cup?  

    If so, you need to teach them to drink out of a regular cup and at the kitchen table only do they get drinks.  DS was peeing way too much and all day long when he was on a sippy. 
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  • NJLHNJLH member
    Hmmm....they do drink from a sippy or straw cup most of the time. Interesting thought.
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  • funchickenfunchicken member
    It sounds to me like they're just not quite ready.  I'm sure you're more than ready, though :)  Are they having a lot of accidents or do you usually catch them doing the "potty dance" and make them go?  My DD hates to interrupt what she's doing and will wait until the last possible second, and then she frantically runs to the bathroom.  It drives me crazy, so sometimes I force her to go when she's acting like she needs to.  What if you just make them sit on the potty every two hours or something like that?  Eventually they'll start taking the lead, but maybe for now they need the forced break.
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  • Temp6313048411121614Temp6313048411121614 member

    imagemrszee2b:
    make them sit on the potty every two hours or something like that?  Eventually they'll start taking the lead, but maybe for now they need the forced break.

    This.  I just tell mine when it's time to go (even for my 4.5 year old sometimes).  Eventually they'll get it, but for now just telll them to go to the bathroom every _______ minutes/hours.

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  • lawry13lawry13 member
    I did the 3 day method with DD almost a year ago and it failed. I decided then to wait until I felt she was ready.  She wasn't yet in preschool and I told her she had to use the potty all the time.  We started using pull ups (yes I know most people don't like them).  I kept reminding her to keep them dry (she thought they were underwear).  After she kept them dry for a week we changed to underwear all the time (even nights).  She has had 2 accidents since then (when she got caught up in something and didn't want to stop).  We used rewards at the beginning (she liked squinkies) and big rewards for long times of staying dry (a whole week equalled getting her toes painted like mommy).  It just seemed to click one day while she was in the pull ups.
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  • jsugrinjsugrin member
    While my DS got it really quickly it took him a good 6 months before he was consistently telling me he had to go, prior to that it was mostly me asking or reminding.  You may just be expecting too much from them, maybe they just don't care.
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  • eaglei1eaglei1 member
    My daughter now 3.5 years got it about 4 months ago. Although she's been going on the potty since she was 2 off and on. When we got hard and fast about going to the potty and telling us she needed to go, she didn't care. She'd say she doesn't need to, sit on the potty for 10 minutes and as soon as she got up...she'd pee on the floor. (eye roll) Needless to say I was exasperated for a long time. Finally what worked for us was that her best friend who is a year older than her was going to go to summer camp this summer and she said she wanted to go too. We basically told her, that unless she is 100% potty trained and wearing underwear (except at night) that they wouldn't let her go to camp. (which was true.) This is the first time above and beyond all rewards we ever offered her before that she really really wanted and it helped her turn the corner. I told her I'd help her and I took a day off from work, plus the entire weekend and I alone played with her all day. We'd run to the potty and the whole weekend she did great. Her daddy watches her during the week and he was worried that she'd revert with him, since that was the usual case. (She always did better on the potty for me than daddy) But on Monday, she stuck to the routine and she was 90% PT by the end of the week. She only had an accident twice after that but recognized it, apologized and tried to get to the potty.
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  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    Honestly it sounds to me like it is all you with this process and potty training is totally up to your kids.  Are they around other kids that are potty trained?  Do they show any interest in going on the potty or are you making them sit on the potty.  Personally, I would put them in pull ups and then back off.  Have the tools there for them but don't push it.  When they are ready - it will happen and that will be that.  Every so often, when you are getting ready for bed or before a bath, ask if they want to sit on the potty but don't force it.  If you keep this up, it is only going to become a battle of wills and you will lose this one.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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