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September 2012 Moms
CarlySara
member
And to think I actually cared...(NBR...vent)
CarlySara
member
There is a "homeless" man that sits about half a mile from my house with a sign that says "will work for food".
A bunch of months ago, I decided to buy this man a bagel sandwich. I got him a sausage egg and cheese bagel. When I went to give it to him he refused to take it because I was "inconsiderate" and didn't ask him what he likes. Apparently, he's a vegetarian. Whatever, I gave the bagel to my neighbor and never attempted to give this man anything again.
A little over a week ago, I was driving in one of the more well-to-do towns and was about to turn when a man (who looked suspiciously like the man on the corner by my house) crossed right in front of me. I almost hit him. He was dressed in a nice collared shirt and some nice khaki shorts. It stuck in my mind as strange, but I just hoped it wasn't the man by my house.
2 days later, as I'm driving past the man, I noticed a Vespa type scooter hidden in back off of the road, hidden in some trees and bushes. Once again, I hoped that this was not the man's scooter. Well, a few hours later, I see him on his scooter heading back to the "well-to-do" town. Now, every time I see him I want to punch him! I want to report him to the police! I am so, unbelievably bothered by this man!
Sorry...I'm so freaking bothered by this. I felt this was a good place to vent. Thanks for reading, ladies!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: And to think I actually cared...(NBR...vent)
this made me literally LOL!
ive found that those who are picky about food you give them when they say will work for food, just want money and arent actually desperate. ive had a lot of legitimate homeless people be so grateful for any kind of food rather than be nit picky.
I agree with all of this. There are people out near Wal-Mart, and I'll usually buy a box of crackers to give them, and another lady gladly accepted a bagel I offered her. I never give money...just food (when I have it).
And as for sitting by the man...If he wasn't a good 100 lbs heavier than me...this may happen. Maybe I'll make DH do it.
FYI, this is very common. Panhandlers are known to make HUGE livings and live in huge houses in nice towns. They drive into other cities for "working hours" and sit and make more than I probably do.
Not that it makes it any less angering, just a true fact.
LOL. Yeah, if he were hungry enough, he would have peeled off the sausage and eaten the rest. A friend one time gave her lunch to a homeless woman (it was cous-cous with veggies), and the woman said, "Ewww, what's this?" My friend yanked it back and said,"You're not hungry."
Yeah...unfortunately I know this. Here, or maybe just in Durham, they are required to get a panhandler's license and they are given a reflective vest. I should have made the connection with his being further out than most others and without a vest. Still aggrevating!
i do the same. my dad would also buy McDonalds "dollars" and give them to the homeless on the streets so that they could get a hot meal when they wanted it, but wouldn't be able to use the "money" for anything else. i've followed in that habit myself.
Yes! My DH used to live in Vegas and heard stories about a panhandler that drove a BMW...sick! I'm sure that's not the case for all and some probably are in truly dire situations but I bet you'd be shocked by the number of them that live very well!
This. I feel bad for people who have genuine needs, but I wont give them anything bc I dont know who needs something and who is trying to scam me. Much safer giving to churches and soup kitchens.
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I really don't think she meant all panhandlers. However, there are quite a few out there that must make it hard for those who are genuinely in need. Part of the reason why I like that they need a license and get a vest here. I should just give to them.
His sign said "will WORK for food". Also, we don't know that he lives in a nice house, he could have been staying with someone. Even if he does because he once had a good job, does that mean he can't be suffering now? Maybe he owns his Vespa and needs to keep it for transportation for when he does get offered a job. Maybe he traded in his car for the Vespa because that was a cheaper means of transportation.
I hear all the time that people only give food, never money. They guy can only eat so much while sitting on the corner. He could still be sitting there holding his sign hoping someone will offer him to work in their yard or they know of a construction job or something.
And a huge eye roll to the statement that panhandlers make so much money.
I don't give money to those people because I just don't trust them. Something about standing on the side of the road asking for money just irks me. There are places that offer help if you should ever need it, so it doesn't make sense that you would sit somewhere and beg for cash.
I was going to the store with my mom the other day and she stopped to give a man money. When I asked her why she did it, she said that she wanted him to be able to get something to eat. I just thought she was being really naive.
And just to clarify, I'm sure there are some people who do that out of true desperation. I just think it's a very small percentage.
I agree with the PP who said they should spend that time working - but the unfortunate reality is that they probably make more money on the side of the road and collecting government subsidies...
I don't ever do this but...I was with my DH the other day shopping for baby stuff and we passed this woman standing on the side of the road with a sign that said - husband left me, 3 kids, every little bit helps. She looked absolutely petrified and mortified to be standing there. She was young (mid 20's) and looked like she could be your neighbor or something. It really got to me for some reason. I started crying (hormones much??) and gave her $20.
She may have totally been a scammer but something about her just broke my heart...
I know that there are panhandlers who are "professional beggars", but I think the majority of people on the streets are legitimately in need. If I'm able to give them some money, I will. (My problem is that I usually don't carry cash.) I figure that if they are using it to get drunk or buy drugs or pay for a BMW, that's their problem. I want to be kind and giving no matter if they "look" homeless or not.
It sucks that some people abuse the kindness of others...but not every beggar is like that. Don't let one crappy person make you think poorly of every homeless person.
This is awful, people are just so scammy.
I have to say the funniest part is when I read that you gave the bagel that was unwanted by a homeless man to your neighbor. LOL
I agree here. Every time I start to feel cynical about it, I try to think back to that lesson from church...where Jesus shows up as a beggar and he gets turned away... I don't know...call it good ole' Baptist guilt if you will. However, I also never carry cash on me, so I'm never in a position to help. But, I can certainly understand others' hesitation. Money is hard to come by for everyone.
In Nashville, there's a paper that homeless/former homeless people sell. There are regulations and they have to wear an ID to sell the paper; they pay 25 cents per paper and sell it for a dollar and keep their profits. In only bought the paper on occasion, but I really liked the program in general. Because of the responsibility it required, it seemed different than panhandling on a street corner, and the guy on the corner I passed was really friendly.
Anyway, I had a guy come knock on my door and offer to mow my lawn in exchange for money to buy his kids dinner; it was four days before we moved. My lawn was a mess, but I had already arranged for a landscaper to help me out before I moved. I politely declined the lawn mowing, and he asked for money anyway. I explained that I didn't have any cash (which was actually totally true) and he said a check would be fine (which I thought was ballsy, but I also had already packed everything, including checks). I had a box of food that was going to the donation bin at the local supermarket. I offered him spaghetti and sauce if he wanted it because I wasn't going to pack glass jars of sauce. He turned it down. Guess his kids weren't THAT hungry.
It actually bothered me more that he was on my doorstep, knocking on my door. The dog was going crazy and I answered it because I thought it was the Comcast man.
There is a large homeless population where I live. A lot of them are genuinely homeless and unemployable (from a local mental hospital shutting down and kicking everyone out) and the rest are young 20-30 somethings that are genuinely lazy. I was working a customer service job and my boss was too nice for her own good. She decided to hire a 17 year old girl who was pan-handling. This girl would tell me stories about how she was homeless because she didn't like her mom's rules, and I better not "take her corner." She ended up getting fired and removed from the premises in cuffs after stealing over $100 from the cash register.
There's also a homeless married couple. Supposedly they own no property or vehicles, they just sit on the street corner all day and beg for change. Come December, they take all the money they accumulated and spend a nice two week Christmas vacation in Hawaii.
I too, do not donate to the "spangers."
I give a lot of money to homeless people, and I never give a sh!t what they spend it on or whether or not they are legitimately homeless, etc. And let's be really honest here: I do this for myself because it makes me feel good about myself.
I've been burned a couple times. I gave one guy $50 and four hours later saw him clean and well-dressed getting in to an Escalade with rims the size of my car. What a booger. I talked daily (for 2 years) to a group of homeless folks while walking my dog and thought I had a good relationship with them, and they punched me in the gut and ripped my purse off my body one day. Not hard to get it back though, because I knew them and they were back on that corner the next morning. Ha!
Also in college during finals week I saw "Campus Cathy" on my way to Subway. I had given Cathy clothes, money, conversation, coffee, and food for 4 years straight........ I asked her what she wanted from Subway. She asked if she could come in with me because they don't let her go inside unless she's buying something and she'd like to sit down. I told the jackass at Subway that she could have a footlong sub of her choice and a water (I was broke, and I mean b-r-o-k-e). Meanwhile I ordered my 6" sandwich. Some commotion started and I got distracted. When I went to pay, she had ordered for footlong sandwiches, a drink, and three bags of chips. I didn't have the money to pay for the food and had to work out a later payment plan with the manager. Sigh. I was in tears, and was 15 minutes late to my final. By the way, she was wearing MY coat that day. Oh well, she had mental issues. Never, ever ask what they want to eat unless you are going to have very strict rules that you will bring them back their food.
And flame if you want, but I prefer to not to establish relationships with the homeless people in my neighborhood/close community. I had a homeless male stalk me for a year and there wasn't much the cops could do. I'm all for conversation in other neighborhoods though.