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TTC and wanting a home birth

MR.&MrsMR.&Mrs
in Natural Birth

I know I am only thinking about TTC; but, I didn't know which board to post on. My family knows that in August we are officially going to TTC and they know that I want a water birth at home.  But, my mom is a Dr.and my Stepmom is a nurse plus most of my family has a medical degree. They are all mad (or concerned) that I want a water birth because I have PCOS.  

Am I just silly for wanting a home birth or are they being overly concerned?  

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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Re: TTC and wanting a home birth

  • KateLouiseKateLouise member

    This may be an ignorant question, but how does PCOS affect your birthing choices? My understanding was it might affect TTC, but once pregnant, it's a non-issue.

    That aside, giving birth and the choices you make is very personal. A home birth isn't for everyone, in the same way a hospital birth with an epi isn't for everyone but if you've done your research, and make an informed choice that is best for you then really it's no one else's business, 

    It's natural for your family to be concerned especially when your choices are outside their comfort zone, but it doesn't mean that they are right.

    I think you need to think about how much you want to continue sharing with your family. Will they come around to be supportive of you? Will they be open to learning about the research? Will they only be negative about anything out of the norm?

    It may reach a point where you have to no longer discuss it with them.

    There are a number of homebirthers here who have a wealth of experience and knowledge to share in terms of what you might want to consider.

    Good luck TTC. How exciting for you!! 

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  • wifeofadamwifeofadam member

    When I told my family we were having a HB with #3 everyone freaked.  I've learned that from now on I should keep all controversial choices to myself so that family doesn't have a chance to freak out until it's too late ;)

    FWIW, our families came around eventually and were present for the birth.  By the time it was all over they decided that HP was a very good choice for us and are now supportive of us doing it again with #4.

        
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  • MR.&MrsMR.&Mrs

    Thank you for your support and knowledge.  

    I don't think that PCOS has anything do with the birth just the getting pregnant. I thank that once I get pregnant and pretty far into being pregnant they will probably be more supportive (or I hope). I have researched HB and water births. I have looked up MW in my area and their background. DH is supportive with my wishes. 

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • julyjenniferjulyjennifer member

    My mom is a nurse and she was upset by our choice to birth at home, which was a little stressful and annoying, because she's my mom and I would love for her to be supportive.  She's usually cool about stuff.  But I also knew that she wasn't very educated on how safe homebirth is for a normal, low risk pregnancy.  I told her ours was a research-based decision, gave her some items she could read if she wanted, told her she could come to a prenatal or call my mw with questions, told her that I would appreciate it if she respected our choice.  She said probably the thing that calmed her concerns the most was when I told her that the CNM at my clinic that I saw for an early appointment was favorable to homebirth when I told her of our potential plans, and that the CNM herself told me that homebirth was a safe choice for a low risk pg.  She and my dad were respectful and accepted it and didn't badmouth it after that.

    I guess DH forgot to mention to his parents that we were birthing at home, he mentioned something about a 6 weeks before our due date to them and they were shocked and his dad was very negative about it.  We were kind of surprised, and that too was annoying and stressful, his dad kept telling DH how "concerned" they all were about us (although my MIL told me privately that she thought it was a great idea and was supportive (though based on what she told me later, it seemed like she was more nervous about it than she let on to me, she was just trying to be supportive because she's good like that)).

    Less is more up front but you're probably past that point...say your piece and then tell them all to leave you alone.

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  • 00jennifer0000jennifer00 member
    We hb'd with #2-#4.  I tried talking to family about it before #2 came, but they shut me down REAL fast and told me how stupid it was.  I ended up not saying anything about it again.  They just got to hear about it after.
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