Baby Names

lizzieleopard · July 2012

Adoptive Parents,

Did your child's biological mother give them a name at birth? Did you change it? Why or Why not?

Biologial Mothers,

Did you pick out a name for your baby? Why or why not? Was it changed? How did you feel if it was changed by the adoptive parents? Was it hard for you? Do you call your child by the name you gave them, or by the name the adoptive parents gave them?

silliestbunny · July 2012

Great question!! I think this one causes lots of stress for PAPs. Like most couples, PAPs often have strong desires to name the child they will parent... for some it will be a deal breaker if the BM desires to name teh child... for others it will just be different than what they expected.
I personally don't think one is right and one is wrong... but I do think having a non-emotional discussion about expectations is important so all the uneasiness is gone from the naming.

I know of several people that used the birth mom's preferred name as the middle name and that seemed to work nicely.

kgs0505 · July 2012

We named M entirely. The birthparent didn't give him a name at all, so his original birth certificate says "unknown lastname". It's kind of sad, but we weren't there right when he was born.

amm78 · July 2012

We haven't adopted yet, but I have many friends who have. Each situation is completely different... sometimes the birthmother named the baby on the birth certificate and the adoptive parents changed the baby's name... other times, the adoptive parents and the birth parents talked names together and agreed on something. So, there's no right or wrong way to approach it. I think the most important thing is for both sides to be open and honest with their thoughts on the subject.

Dr.Loretta · July 2012

Yes, DD's BM gave her a name. We were matched after birth, and her BM didn't want her birth certificate to say Baby Girl X. She wanted a name on it, so she just picked something.

When we met, she made it clear that's what happened, and wanted to know if we had names in mind. It was pretty obvious that she was fine with us choosing a name that we liked, and just wanted to know what it was. Especially since we see her a couple times a year, so she's like to know what to call her!

She liked the name we chose, and calls her by that name, not the original name she gave her.

We were prepared for birthparents to possibly want some input into names, and were open to discussion.

Patches08 · July 2012

My name is Sherri Lynn my last name. Adoptive parents and myself decided on a name for DD prior to birth. We choose Mckenzie Lynn (their choice and I liked it). On her first birth certificate it's Mckenzie Lynn my last name. Adoptive parents changed it to Mckenzie Lynn their last name.

I think if you named your child and the AP's changed it, you should call the child by their legal name (the name the adoptive parents gave). It'll be confusing and hard to explain to a young child and just for the sake of being respectful to the adoptive parents.

TiaS16 · July 2012

I'm adopted...so I thought I would answer this for you since my mothers/fathers aren't on the bump.

No, my Mom and Dad did not keep the names that my biological parents gave me. My biological mother named me one name, my biological father named me something else and because I was briefly a ward of the state, they gave me another name. So, I have 4, birth certificates :-)

It's kinda cool.

jenn985 · July 2012

Our birth parents picked a first, middle, and last name for our son. When we met they told us the name that they had chosen. The first name happened to be on our short list so we went ahead and used that first name- we liked it well as any of the others we had, we thought it was cool that we had both come up with the same name, and we thought it would be a great way to honor Zane's birth parents. The name they gave him is on his original birth certificate and the changed middle and last name will be on his new birth certifcate. I think it really depends on the situation as to what everyone prefers and is comfortable with.

sw_in_kc · July 2012

When we met DD's BM she asked about names we had chosen and she asked if she could help name DD. She had a MN picked out and we happened to love the name. She asked specifically for it to be a MN and that she wanted us to choose the first name.

At the hospital, just before she gave birth, she asked what name we had chosen, as she wanted to put it on the birth certificate. So, she named her the same name we had chosen only with her last name.

firecracker8 · July 2012

We had a few names picked out before we met our BM and a few days before meeting her we were told that she had named the baby. We decided to quit talking about names until we met her and were officially matched. When we met her and heard his name, we both really liked it. By the time we left, it just seemed like it was his name. So, we kept his first name and changed his middle name to DH's family middle name.

Amy720 · July 2012

We ddn't ever meet r even talk to Bio mom. She gave a name that went on original birth certificate. We gave him a completely different name hat is on te amended birth certificate and Bio mom does not know what it is.

tobysnuggles · July 2012

Lurker here - I'm adopted and my parents gave me a new name and changed my birth certificate to it instead of keeping the name my bio mother had given. Not sure if bio mom knew this though, it was a closed adoption. They did the same for my sister, but for my brother they adopted him right after his birth so the name they chose is what went on the certificate.

Want a personalized experience?

Baby Names

Re: Baby Names

Choose Another Board

Search Boards