Intro and nerves/advice?

zaramarie81 · July 2012

Hi all - I've really enjoyed reading your stories here, and I wanted to introduce myself.

I am 31 weeks along with my first (a baby boy). I had just assumed I was going to do a typical hospital birth with an epi because my sisters have had such difficult l&d experiences. My twin sister in particular took Bradley classes (I attended one with her), and thought she was prepared for natural birth. It couldn't have gone differently. She had a long, hard labor with a failure to progress (we're talking 30 exhausting hours and only getting to 3cm before finally getting an epi, and at the 40 hour mark needing a c-section due to a fever and baby going into distress). Since then she has had VBACs and progressed very well but only with the aid of epis to help her deal with very intense contractions. My twin and I are both petite and have very strong, tense muscles that lock down very tightly under stress or when afraid. (To put it in perspective, we have both needed physical therapy for various muscle regions in our bodies to "re-stretch" muscle groups after any kind of trauma to them... like a relatively minor sports injury or even oral surgery. Yes, I have memories of having to teach my jaw to open again after getting my wisdom teeth out).

So yeah, needless to say, I wasn't even going to bother with natural birth as I'd felt like all her wonderful Bradley training did nothing for my sister and that natural births were reserved for the lucky whose bodies actually "work." (Yeah, great attitude, huh??? )

But... but... I am rethinking it.

For starters, Dh and I decided to hire a Doula precisely because I wanted a coach to help me deal with stress/fear. Then my Doula assigned me Ina May's book to read, and while yes, I know the book doesn't lay out every single option in detail, it really was an empowering read with a lot of great info. And now I am seriously questioning my initial resignation to having an intervention-"heavy" birth. And I am starting to get my hopes up that maybe, just maybe, I can do this natural labor thing and not have to take on the risks of interventions (except the likelihood that I'll need an IV for GBS). Also my OB, while pretty "standard" I guess really caught my attention when we first got pg by emphasizing to me that *pregnancy is a natural state, not a disease." He has always been very respectful of my wishes and has always made a point to help me see the entire process as healthy, normal, etc. So he seems like he'd be good to work with if I want a natural labor.

Anyway, sorry so long. Any thoughts or words of wisdom? We have our initial appt with our Doula soon, and I've also booked an appt with a chiro to see if we can work on some back issues. I am trying to prepare as best I can.

Jcrab · July 2012

Congrats on considering a natural birth. Reading Ina May and the doula are a great start. Hypnobirthing really helped me as well, especially as far as retraining my mind that birth is a completely natural process my body is more than capable of handling. Pain wasn't really an issue either and I think a lot of that was Hypnobirthing. Keep up the good work and feel free to ask questions anytime. GL!

AmyRI · July 2012

I really don't see the harm in preparing the best you can for a natural birth. What's the worst that happens? You don't progress well and get an epi at that point. At least you will know you tried and there won't be any "what-if"s like there might be if you started out with the epi.

Have you thought about doing prenatal yoga? You can get a lot of great positions for laboring and help get your body as loose as possible before you go into labor. It might help with your body's natural tensing reaction. Also talk to your sister and ask her what worked for her vaginal deliveries - was a shower or bath helpful to relax? Birthing ball? etc. She figured out coping mechanisms, so I'd use her experience as a guide along with the advice from your doula.

Welcome and good luck!

zaramarie81 · July 2012

Thanks, Ladies!

Jcrab - I have *just* started hearing about "hypno-birthing"! I am fascinated and will have to look into it.

Amy - Good suggestion regarding Yoga. I have done one or two classes before pregnancy and didn't feel very good at it, but it may be worth another try. Interestingly my twin dose Yoga and also sees a chiro (which is what inspired me to make an appt with a chiro). But her coping mechanism for labor is to get an epi asap (with her third child, she got that epi before even having her first painful contraction). Epi's seem to make her progress (I know they can often slow women down, but in her case, there seems to be a direct correlation between getting the epi and quickly progressing - probably because her muscles can relax). Her basic mindset/advice is "We're not made for natural birth" - I don't totally blame her as she really gave it her all with her first. She did however recently mention that perhaps the chiro (and now maybe yoga?) may have helped prep her without her realizing it.

Thanks for the encouragement!! You're right... it can't hurt to try!

StacieJane · July 2012

So many women feel "doomed" to a bad birth experience because all the women in their family had awful, long labors, or their mother was in so much pain every time that she passed out, or whatever. I know she's your twin, but just remember that YOU are your own person, and you are not doomed to her experiences.

Maybe you'll have a similar experience, but maybe you WON'T.

If I were you, I would do some sort of hypnobirthing/hypnobabies and really work on fear release and positive affirmations.

zaramarie81 · July 2012

Stacie - thank you for the encouragement! I keep telling myself I am not my sister, but medically we seem to be very similar time and again! But... you are right, that still doesn't mean it will go exactly the same way.

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