The In-Laws Vent

rsideemd · July 2012

So my husband and I got into a disagreement tonight. His family is pestering him, because I'm barely showing at almost 28 weeks and they think something is wrong with the baby. She's an almost constant mover and all of my ultrasounds show a perfectly healthy baby. In fact, she's even measuring ahead. However, I have a tilted back uterus and the doctor says that's why I'm not showing a whole lot yet. My husband wants me to announce to his whole family that I have a tilted uterus, so they will leave him alone. I really don't want to do this. Call me crazy, but I just feel uncomfortable doing it. I really don't know why it bothers me though. The only people who know are my husband and my mom.

I just don't get why they can't take our word for it that our baby is fine. What does the size of my belly have to do with anything?

Meagan0528 · July 2012

No, I don't feel like you should tell them anything you are not comfortable with. That is incredibly rude that they are pestering him because they think something is wrong! That would really upset me, especially since you know you are carrying a perfectly healthy baby. I say screw them. Let them talk, tell your husband not to listen!

EricsTrueLove2 · July 2012

Meagan0528:
No, I don't feel like you should tell them anything you are not comfortable with. That is incredibly rude that they are pestering him because they think something is wrong! That would really upset me, especially since you know you are carrying a perfectly healthy baby. I say screw them. Let them talk, tell your husband not to listen!

This exactly. It's your body. They do not need to know every single thing and in 12 weeks they will see with their own eyes nothing is wrong.

If your husband wants to be upset over this then that's a shame because this is one less thing you should be stressing over. He'll have to deal with it and get over it.

CandaceLeigh · July 2012

You don't have to justify your bump to them. He needs to man up and get over it. If he takes a firm stance that everything is fine and they should drop it, then that should be the end of it. Even with a titlted ute, you'll be showing more and more over the next weeks.

cwm11985 · July 2012

Wow, no you absolutely do not need to justify anything to them. Just assure them that your doctor has continued to tell you everything is fine- afterall, everyone is different, there's no "cookie cutter" way your bump should look.

Mrs.DeliaMarieP · July 2012

He should just tell them that you are in such good shape that your abs of steel are too toned for your uterus to break through. Will they then argue that you're not? No way!

Personally, I would have no problem telling them that I have a tilted uterus if they decided to question me day in and out. But, if you're not comfortable, then that's your choice.

melissascarfone · July 2012

Keep calm and carry on! Do whatever you effing want...tell em, dont, as long as you know whats up its all good. Your hubby may not realize, not that its ok, but may just want to shut them up by telling them. Not your job to calm them all down though at all. Dont let them rock you inside...steady!

anao2020 · July 2012

MamaAlex:
Tell DH to grow a pair and stick up for you guys! Something like: "The doctor says everything's fine. When YOU graduate med school, let me know."

... Yeah, that should suffice.

This. I have a tilted uterus, too, and if it were me in this situation, I would not feel the need to update the in-laws on the degree of my ute. It's really effed up to keep harping on someone that there must be something wrong with their baby, your hubs needs to put them in their place about this behavior.

this decaf life · July 2012

I wouldn't worry - when you have a healthy baby they'll all eat their words.

I also have a tilted uterus but I would have NO problem telling that to even my in laws - they all know how we got pregnant [sex] & they all know where that baby is headed through in a few months so talking about my ute seems like no big deal.

hbbmama · July 2012

Lucky you! I'm ready for my belly to stop growing so be glad you aren't showing that much! I get that its none of their business but it also sounds like you feel its something deeply personal that needs to be kept a secret. I also have a tilted uterus, just wanted to point out its not really anything unusual so don't feel bad. Having a deep pelvis will also mean you show less, my lucky mom never got very big and was told this was why, just enjoy it!

BLuvsE · July 2012

How rude! You should never comment on a pregnant woman's body. Never.

Your in-laws sound awesome. I can just see them when LO is here...'Is s/he gaining enough weight? Are you sure? Are you sure?...Shouldn't s/he be walking by now??...S/he cries a lot, are you sure s/he's happy?'

I'd nip this crap in the bud NOW. They are commenting on your body and, indirectly, your parenting skills. If you say it's fine and you've already spoken to your doctor about it, it's time for them to drop it.

Eveanyn · July 2012

You should do whatever you're comfortable with. If you don't want to tell them about the tilt of your uterus, then you can kindly tell them to STFU and GTFO.

megmassey523 · July 2012

What is wrong with these people? It's not right for them to tell you something could be wrong with the baby; every pregnant woman carries in her own way. As long as your doctor hasn't voiced any concerns, they should just mind their own business. I would just tell them that the baby is measuring as she should and that there is nothing wrong; that's all they need to know. That would drive me crazy!

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