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Just to reassure those waiting

srmmm09srmmm09
in Adoption

There are definitely birthmoms who don't ask for any expenses to be paid (my parents even paid my hospital bills for the birth of LO).

I know a lot of you waiting are in a vulnerable place (I know keenly as a soon-to-be adoptive parent), so I wanted to give you a little touch of reassurance in case you're... feeling a little woozy from the previous thread. :-) It's so hard to have your child be in the hands of others, but I'll bet most of us believe in some type of fate. Our children will come to us, sooner or later, and they will be our children, and we will be their parents.

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Application approved Dec '11
Mar '12: Homestudy interrupted by change in Uganda requirements - where do we go from here?
After searching and searching, back with Uganda but with our homestudy agency's program.
Homestudy complete July 19
USCIS I-600A submitted July 20. Biometrics appointments arrived Aug 17; fingerprinted Aug 21; 171H received Sept 25th. On the wait list Oct 1st: #18. By Jan 25th, we're #13!
Come home, baby A!
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Re: Just to reassure those waiting

  • MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member

    I agree on the woozy part.

    The thing about birth mom expenses is I completely agree there are times they are needed. But expecting $ up to a generous amount ("if they can't afford me how can they afford my child?") is sickening. 

    The hard part for APs is the expenses are paid even if the baby isn't placed.

     Thanks for your post. Bm expenses can be terrifying. 

    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member

    And there are states that don't allow any to be paid. DD was born in a state that didn't allow any BM expenses. We could voluntarily contribute to a BM fund that our agency set up. If reasonable expenses arose (rent, medical bills, etc.) the agency would pay the bill directly. DD's BM placed after birth, and had insurance, so we paid no BM expenses.

    There are a million scenarios in adoption.

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  • Rachel SonnierRachel Sonnier member

    imagesrmmm09:

    It's so hard to have your child be in the hands of others, but I'll bet most of us believe in some type of fate. Our children will come to us, sooner or later, and they will be our children, and we will be their parents.

    I love this!! It made me smile, because I was thinking the exact same thing earlier. Not about BM expenses, but just about my own situation and how things will work out the way that they are supposed to eventually :-)

    Thanks for sharing! 

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  • Patches08Patches08 member

    Thank for you posting this!

     I didn't ask the AP's for a dime!  I wanted any resources directed towards DD after her birth, not my vet or cable bills!!  AP's were insistent on paying for my hospital admission of $300.00 but that was it and I was ready to pay for it myself.

    That post made me sick.

    BM to Kenzie 9/1/04 --- Married 1/22/09 --- Me 27 - DH 25 --- TTC our first since April 2010 Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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