Baby Loan

2moms2twins · July 2012

just wondering if anyone would like to share.

Clock is tick tocking and I am not getting younger. I LOVE LOVE LOVE The daughters I have but also would like to give M my egg to make another and i feel pressure- cuz the ADVANCE MATERNAL thing .... and well unless I rob a bank which is probably not going to happen then... coming up with cash to have TRES baby is going to be difficult and by the time I scrounge our pennes it MIGHT BE TOO LATE ?

hlke · July 2012

Have you looked into the possibility of a shared IVF cycle? Not sure how it would work with you as the egg donor and M as the gestational carrier, but in a shared cycle, they retrieve your eggs and you basically donate half of them to a couple that needs donor eggs, and the other half goes to you. It costs a little more than half a regular IVF cycle, but the risk is that you end up not having enough eggs to have enough viable embryos for transfer or that you end up without leftover embryos to freeze.

Carrying might be a much less costly option, but it's also a roll of the dice depending on your fertility. You could get the ball rolling by having initial fertility testing done (the day 3 bloodwork for ovarian reserve, and maybe AMH which is another ovarian reserve test) just to get a rough gauge of how much time you might have.

Finally, you could maybe split up the process (and thus the cost) by doing the egg retrieval and fertilization and then freezing the embryos, and doing the FET later. The egg retrieval and fertilization is the more age sensitive part of the equation.

Just throwing out ideas in case there are some you haven't considered.

2moms2twins · July 2012

themommymonster:
Would to be willing to carry? It seems like your desire to have a biological child is strong. I am guessing if you carry you could save a money and get to TTC #3 sooner, rather than later?

I know several women who identify as butch who carried.

yes my desire is HUGE and always has been but not excited one bit about BIRTHING would "take one for our team " and carry but i prefer not to carry and not to birth but it would be last resort if need be. Also I dont know that we want to work on #3 now but time is ticking and I dont know when the right time will be- also I worry about having the bypass- I am afraid of gaining weight back and I know Vain and adjusting to this new me is a process I just dont know how it will affect me and or a baby ... I mean I have read and checked out but no one knows for sure!

2moms2twins · July 2012

hlke:
Have you looked into the possibility of a shared IVF cycle? Not sure how it would work with you as the egg donor and M as the gestational carrier, but in a shared cycle, they retrieve your eggs and you basically donate half of them to a couple that needs donor eggs, and the other half goes to you. It costs a little more than half a regular IVF cycle, but the risk is that you end up not having enough eggs to have enough viable embryos for transfer or that you end up without leftover embryos to freeze.
Carrying might be a much less costly option, but it's also a roll of the dice depending on your fertility. You could get the ball rolling by having initial fertility testing done (the day 3 bloodwork for ovarian reserve, and maybe AMH which is another ovarian reserve test) just to get a rough gauge of how much time you might have.
Finally, you could maybe split up the process (and thus the cost) by doing the egg retrieval and fertilization and then freezing the embryos, and doing the FET later. The egg retrieval and fertilization is the more age sensitive part of the equation.
Just throwing out ideas in case there are some you haven't considered.

yes I have checked out all of this except for the shares IVF cycle as I think I am too old now? I think you have to be younger than 35years old ? having me donate my eggs to Melanie is actually ore $$$ because we both need meds and both having to go through a cycle and our insurance does not cover any fertility.

hlke · July 2012

2moms2twins:

yes I have checked out all of this except for the shares IVF cycle as I think I am too old now? I think you have to be younger than 35years old ? having me donate my eggs to Melanie is actually ore $$$ because we both need meds and both having to go through a cycle and our insurance does not cover any fertility.

I think it depends on your clinic and who you are sharing with and their preferences, but you are probably right that at a certain age it is no longer an option. And yeah, donating eggs to Melanie is more expensive than just straight IVF. Hope you guys can figure something out...this whole process is just so hard!

2moms2twins · July 2012

themommymonster:
2moms2twins:
themommymonster:
Would to be willing to carry? It seems like your desire to have a biological child is strong. I am guessing if you carry you could save a money and get to TTC #3 sooner, rather than later?

I know several women who identify as butch who carried.
yes my desire is HUGE and always has been but not excited one bit about BIRTHING would "take one for our team " and carry but i prefer not to carry and not to birth but it would be last resort if need be. Also I dont know that we want to work on #3 now but time is ticking and I dont know when the right time will be- also I worry about having the bypass- I am afraid of gaining weight back and I know Vain and adjusting to this new me is a process I just dont know how it will affect me and or a baby ... I mean I have read and checked out but no one knows for sure!

I will say I was afraid to give birth. I had a vaginal delivery and it really was not all bad. I did end up getting an epidural because I was a wuss, but the actual pushing/birth I felt when the shut it off. All the pain goes away after the "ring of fire" plus they have good drugs. Once they put DS in my arms I forgot about all if it. It's why people have more than one baby, they forget about the birthing part.

I get that ... and i get it ... Its just too FEMINIZING of a process for me. I am pretty much a stone butch ... a giver more than a receiver and probably TMI - so my issues are more with the feminizing process of having a baby ... maybe a lil vain and If I do decide to even donate egg to M its will be tough to have exams and all that ...another feminizing process..dont get me wrong i was born a female i am a woman i just have issues and no I was not a victim of rape or molested.

norika33 · July 2012

I'm with you J- I don't have any interest in carrying, but love my babies to pieces and would love 12 more, but have the body issues, although I identify as femme.

I know my good friends did the egg donation/IVF thing, and the RE had a payment plan, and a loan program, as well as there were grants you could get if you couldnt afford the IVF meds. I would check with the ladies over on Infertility board for ideas- or check their FAQ, cause I'm sure its been covered a lot.

I would talk to your RE, who you seem to be close with, about options- they can charge you whatever they want, and maybe get you donated drugs to save on costs?

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