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1st Trimester
anglgrl718
member
Anyone out there?
anglgrl718
member
Hi, my name is Andrea and I'm new here. I am 6 and a half weeks pregnant and I feel really alone. I know lots of people who have had children, I have many close family members and friends who have children or are actually pregnant right now. This pregnancy was totally unexpected/unplanned and I'm feeling really confused about it. I am not married but with the dad, we just bought a house together and were so excited to start living in it and having parties and just being us for a little while. This changes everything and I feel really selfish about feeling this way. I always knew I would want to be a mom someday but not just yet. It's not like I'm not old enough or any of that, I'm 29 and I know I can handle it I just didn't want to yet.
Also, I am terrified. I feel like all the other people in my life who are pregnant right now are just so happy about it and I am just scared about what's going to happen this coming February. I do not handle pain well and I'm terrified of needles. The thought of an epidural makes me sick to my stomach but so do painful contractions. I alone? I found out a week ago about my pregnancy and everyday since then has been filled with these thoughts and I'm obsessed. How can I help it stop? I know this is long but I'm hoping you all can help.
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Re: Anyone out there?
I'm sure you are not alone. I was very much wanting this pregnancy, so I can't sympathize, per se, but I can imagine the fear. I know that if this had happened a year ago, I'd have felt similarly.
All I can say is I hope that you are able to come to terms with it. I'm sure eventually you'll be excited about it. Even though I wanted to get pregnant, I'm pretty terrified. It's completely new to me. I thought it would be cake because I've been around so many pregnancies, but now that's it's my body, it's a whole new ball game.
Pain can be a scary thing, but you'll be ok. My friend, also petrified of needles, ended up thanking her lucky stars for that epidural because it relieved the pain she was feeling. She forgot all about her fear of needles.
Good luck to you!
I feel like a terrible person for admitting this but we tried and tried and tried and finally figured that it would never happen. Then of course I got pregnant and instead of being happy, I completely freaked out. My husband and I discussed whether we had actually thought this whole thing through and even considered whether we wanted to end the pregnancy and not have any children ever.
After about two days of being really, really freaked out we decided that this was a good thing and we were going to embrace it. Now I'm almost 12 weeks along, we've told our immediate families and closest friends and we are excited! Give it some time, you will start to feel better, and dare I say, happy. I still have moments of "OH-MY-GOD-DAYCARE-COSTS- $1800/MO-I'LL-NEVER-GO-ON-VACATION-AGAIN" but I do feel better. You need to give yourself a few days/weeks to come to grips with the idea that you're going to have a baby.
I know exactly how you are feeling. My first pregnancy was unplanned and I was also not married. I was not ready to give up my "youth and freedom" and just wanted a chance to enjoy living on my own. Also like you I was deathly afraid of needles and couldn't believe I could actually give birth to a baby.
Flash forward to now and I couldn't be happier with my little family and a second baby on the way. The moment you get to see the u/s and hear the heartbeat it really does hit you. If it doesn't then just wait till you get to hold your baby for the first time and realize you did that. Some things that helped me get through the pregnancy, feeling like you do, I watched a lot of "FRIENDS" when Rachel was pregnant (my favorite show), planning on what to do about the nursery, and bought odds and ends in neutral colors for the baby. You can do this and it only gets better from here!
WAY long post - sorry in advance!
There are tons of people out here. I can definitely understand why you are feeling the way you do. I wish that I could say I feel the same but much like many other posters, I was TTC and married. But we have a home that needs a lot of work, and I can understand wanting to do other things before having a baby and family. There is alot that we haven't done yet that we wanted to do and accepting that it will be difficult to do it all first is hard.
Even if a baby is planned, it takes a lot of time to get used to the idea of it being SO SOON-- but at the same time you have 7 months to get used to it. I also understand how everyone else can be so excited, but you feel uncertain and that can be off-putting too... take a month or so without telling anyone and focus on it being just you towo in mega-drive - go on vacation, go on dates as much as possible, and enjoy each other as much as you can. Then make a point to do the same thing once a week or month or however often to do the same thing - - date night might help you realize that having a baby isn't the end of everything good - maybe everything you are use to, but at least it's good.
Honestly, you might not like this... but IMO... it's time to grow up. You are an adult that made conscious decisions that led to this result. If your reliable method of birth control failed, then that sucks too but almost no birth control is 100%. Even if it isn't planned - it is happening... Things don't always go as planned. It's not about what happens to you in life - it is how you react to it that helps make you who you are.
I'm sorry that your scared, I hope that an appointment with the doctor can help put your mind at ease. It must be hard going through all that hopefully soon you too will be able to remind yourself "in the end I get a baby."
Try to relax and start reacting positively to the situation. Take a good week and cry it out if you need to. Be selfish and do things you want to do before you have the baby (vacation, home remodeling, massage, spa day *minus the hot tub*, something that makes you feel like you again) then move on from the sorrow that you won't get things your way and embrace the thought of having children. Even if sooner than later.