People visiting after baby is born?

brianabrad · July 2012

I know we all have a long time to think about this but what are your thoughts about family visiting after baby is born?

DH and I were discussing this last since his parents live 15 or so hours away they would come into town to visit for an extended period of time (a week or long). They also have to work around BIL's school schedule since he is only 15 so if baby did come before Christmas they would want to come up asap since BIL would be on break.

While I understand the need to work around a schedule I don't know if I want anyone around 24 / 7 for the first few weeks. I'm going to be tired and would prefer to have that time to bond with baby and DH alone with out family constantly being there.

If DH's family did come into town they would have to get a hotel room but normally when they come to visit now they only go to the hotel to sleep and end up spending 95% of the time at our place. I think with a new baby that might just be A LOT to much for me.

Have you and your DH discussed this? What are your thoughts or plans?

nycitygirl1 · July 2012

Yes, DH and I have discussed this and are on the same page. We really want the first few weeks alone to bond with our baby and get our routines down. The last thing we need is family visiting or staying with us...this would just add to the chaos and stress us out. Plus, I really don't want to have to worry about how I look, cooking/entertaining guests, and so forth when I'm up every 3 hours w/a screaming baby.

I appreciate the fact that your ILs may not be able to both come for a week while their 15 year old is in school, but that is their problem not yours. I would just say, "You're welcome to come after such and such a date." If they can work it out great, if not - this isn't your fault. Babies aren't born at times that are convenient for everyone. Your MIL could always come by herself or the whole family could come for a long weekend.

Allycat11 · July 2012

We will probably be fine with close family and friends coming for brief visits when LO arrives. No one will spend the night at our house or be over all day every day. DH's parents live a couple miles from us and I expect they will want to visit frequently, but they will be short visits. I have no idea what my parents will want to do because they live almost 2 hours away but they will not be staying here.

mindy0711 · July 2012

I remember with DD the only person I really felt comfortable visiting was my mom,because I felt like I didn't have to entertain. She would fend for herself and help me out a lot. I always felt when my IL's came over that I had to entertain so on top of having no sleep, I was trying to clean my house better then what DH had did (bc MIL was OCD about her house) and I tried to entertain them.

SEWF · July 2012

My family is in town, and while I only want my mom and H being at the hospital, I'm sure the rest of my family will visit within days of the birth.

H's family is all OOT, so I'm sure they will be flying in soon after the birth. Luckily, I love all of my in-laws. As of right now, I'm fine if they want to stay with us, and I'm all for them helping out with the baby. As long as I get bonding time with the baby (which I'm sure I will whether they are there or not) I think I'll be fine.

That all could change closer to the birth, though!

ETA: My inlaws have already offered to baby-sit, so if they are around, I'm sure I will get to take naps more often. Plus, they fend for themselves, and the baby is pretty entertaining for them, so I'm not going to worry about it. My MIL had 3 kids herself, I'm sure she knows how exhausting it is for the mom.

ellaNu630 · July 2012

My FIL stayed with us (well at the hotel up the street) the first week after Julian was born. I wanted to shoot myself, I was beyond exhausted and just wanted to rest and bond with my baby, not to mention I was having a hard time getting a hang of breast feeding and he was obviously uncomfortable with me nursing in the same room as him. He'd arrive at our apt at 8:30 and not leave until 5:30. He bought breakfast with him everyday, but I felt as though I had to entertain, stay awake and make sure there was food for lunch and dinner. He was also loud as *** and every time I would manage to doze off, he'd let out a huge laugh or something. Ugh, I love the man but there is NO way I'm letting anyway stay for that extended period of time this go around. My Mom will be around since she watches J man anyway, but she's really great about helping and being supportive post partum and not trying to hog the baby (like MIL) and understanding that I need to rest as well as get in as much skin to skin cuddles as I want.

whittier06 · July 2012

From my very recent experience, long term visitors would not fly with me. The first week we were home, I was bleeding constantly, I cried everyday (babyblues), I had a baby attached to my boob every 1.5 hours, I hadn't pooped in 6 days and I was on percocet (C-section). I NEEDED privacy. People came for very short time periods and left, and it was much better that way for me. My husband was home for that first week, so that was helpful.

In the hospital was a different story, we were NEVER alone. My in-laws were there from 8am-8pm all three days. I don't recommend it...

AuntieKelsey07 · July 2012

My sister is planning on coming in February. My mom may come for a couple weeks after the baby is born (depending on her work schedule). My entire family lives in WA (I live in AZ), so they come down when they can. If my Mom can, I will probably ask her to come down close to the end of when DF goes back to work. I know I'm going to really struggle with the not sleeping aspect. so having extra hands around will be extremely helpful for me (or so I think, ha).

tailanis · July 2012

This would be the second time for me... from personal experience MIL came to visit as soon as DS was born and I did not like it one bit. It was hard trying to bond with my baby and having her tell me that was not done like this or like that. When our LO cried she would ask my DH to give her the baby rather than me. Seriously.

This time around, if anyone wants to visit they can only be over for 2 days tops and they can only visit 2-3 weeks after LO is home. I don't want to go through something like that again.

littlemaybaby · July 2012

As a STM, and if you think visitors would truly HELP . . . I say take whatever help you can get!!! Seriously, I had these visions of DH and I coming home and having our perfect little family of 3 and not wanting anyone around so we could all bond. LMAO at how my little fantasy ended up in reality . . .

When you are feeding (particularly if you are trying to breastfeed) around the clock, changing diapers around the clock, and trying to catch 20 minutes of sleep in between one feeding and the next . . . There is laundry to get done, meals to be cooked if you want to eat, groceries to be bought, etc.

I couldn't have made it through the first 3 weeks without some combination of my MIL and my mom being around - because they were so darn helpful. Your DH will be exhausted too. So it's nice for someone to be able to sleep, someone to be able to be on baby duty, and someone to do something (anything else) - whether that be cook, run errands, etc.

And now with having a toddler running around on top of it all, I'm already trying to line up who will be willing to come help again, because there are just not enough hours in the day . . .

Now, if they are not the type of people who will help - keep them far far away - because the last thing you want to do is feel like you have house guests that you have to entertain!

TexasMom7137 · July 2012

When I had DS my sister came to stay for a week. It was really more of a burden to have someone else there 24/7 then a help. I would prefer to wait a few weeks before having someone over all day. That way there is a bit of a routine and you are morec omfortable in your role.

whittier06 · July 2012

littlemaybaby:

As a STM, and if you think visitors would truly HELP . . . I say take whatever help you can get!!! Seriously, I had these visions of DH and I coming home and having our perfect little family of 3 and not wanting anyone around so we could all bond. LMAO at how my little fantasy ended up in reality . . .

When you are feeding (particularly if you are trying to breastfeed) around the clock, changing diapers around the clock, and trying to catch 20 minutes of sleep in between one feeding and the next . . . There is laundry to get done, meals to be cooked if you want to eat, groceries to be bought, etc.

I couldn't have made it through the first 3 weeks without some combination of my MIL and my mom being around - because they were so darn helpful. Your DH will be exhausted too. So it's nice for someone to be able to sleep, someone to be able to be on baby duty, and someone to do something (anything else) - whether that be cook, run errands, etc.

And now with having a toddler running around on top of it all, I'm already trying to line up who will be willing to come help again, because there are just not enough hours in the day . . .

Now, if they are not the type of people who will help - keep them far far away - because the last thing you want to do is feel like you have house guests that you have to entertain!

This. I didn't want visitors with my first, but this time I want around the clock helpers for the first two weeks. Especially after another c-section.

SEWF · July 2012

littlemaybaby:
As a STM, and if you think visitors would truly HELP . . . I say take whatever help you can get!!! Seriously, I had these visions of DH and I coming home and having our perfect little family of 3 and not wanting anyone around so we could all bond. LMAO at how my little fantasy ended up in reality . . .
When you are feeding (particularly if you are trying to breastfeed) around the clock, changing diapers around the clock, and trying to catch 20 minutes of sleep in between one feeding and the next . . . There is laundry to get done, meals to be cooked if you want to eat, groceries to be bought, etc.
I couldn't have made it through the first 3 weeks without some combination of my MIL and my mom being around - because they were so darn helpful. Your DH will be exhausted too. So it's nice for someone to be able to sleep, someone to be able to be on baby duty, and someone to do something (anything else) - whether that be cook, run errands, etc.
And now with having a toddler running around on top of it all, I'm already trying to line up who will be willing to come help again, because there are just not enough hours in the day . . .
Now, if they are not the type of people who will help - keep them far far away - because the last thing you want to do is feel like you have house guests that you have to entertain!

This is exactly how I was thinking. I know how tired I am NOW, no kids yet except the one I'm growing, just work and household stuff. I can't imagine how exhausted I'll be after giving birth. Both my family and my inlaws are good about boundaries, though.

bearkatjen · July 2012

My side of the family will visit in the hospital, which I really like. I don't expect visits at home for awhile, but if they do, it's super casual and just for a couple of hours.

DH's family lives 20 hours away. My MIL is coming up for a long stay when the baby is close to 6 weeks old. I have to go back to work at that time, so she's going to stay with us several weeks to watch the baby, so the baby has more one on one time before going into daycare. I don't really expect any other visits. We will go visit DH's family in the summer, maybe around Labor Day, so most of his family won't get to meet the baby until then.

I'm definitly a big believer in not having sleep over guest for the first few weeks. I think it's important for the new parents, especially if they're first time parents, to have a chance to figure things out on their own, rather than try to emulate what their mom or mother-in-law or sister does.

laurapacheco · July 2012

It's funny, DH & I had talked about this a bit (mostly the fact that we didn't want anyone staying in the house with us when they visit), but then this weekend my parents sprung on me that they plan to come up here the week after the baby is born in lieu of their annual week-long winter cruise in the tropics. I know they will be very helpful, but at the same time I know my mom will be giving me constant lectures about how to do this or that since I'm a FTM. :-/ Hopefully the in-laws don't plan to come up that week too...

Noethola · July 2012

I plan on having the baby at home. I know my mom will be there for the birth and help afterward. I will rest before inviting everyone else over.

Parents are 1hr away and in-laws 10 minutes.

I think either my mom or MIL will come to help and clean each day and give me a rest, but will also give us time as a family. The good thing, I dont feel like I have to entertain any of them, they can entertain each other. :-) My parents and in-laws are thick as thieves.

My dad and FIL will probably want to come every day or few days, but probably not so much to help. Haha. They are just excited for the baby.

With my niece, my mom and dad would go see her each day, but no longer than an hour. I am perfectly fine with that amount of time!

spartyparty · July 2012

All of our family lives pretty far away. My mom plans to fly in and stay with us for a week and a half around the time the baby is born. MIL wants to come for a week herself, but we will probably have her wait until at least a month after baby is born. The way I see it, they will be there to help me...I have zero plans to entertain them. I barely cook as it is and they know that- so I'm not too worried about feeling like I have to cook elaborate meals or anything for them. They are both pretty independent women.

RachelG1016 · July 2012

DH and I want the first week to ourselves for our family. I will be having a c-section so when he goes back to work I will need some help. My mother will be flying out for 2 weeks to help.

I don't know how I would feel about 3-4 people being around all day, every day.

lanie22 · July 2012

I guess I'm in the minority here, but my mom will be staying with us for a couple of weeks. My family is in VA. She and my Dad will hopefully be here when LO is born, then my Dad will have to return home after a few days. My DH has a meeting to go to about a week after our EDD so I'll definitely take all the help I can get from my Mom while he's out. Of course, all of this can change depending on when LO decides to make his/her arrival. My brother, his family & my youngest brother will likely come out sometime in February.

My IL's live about 5 miles away and I'm sure will want to be here constantly as well. MIL has already made a snide comment about me wanting/having my Mom here. As much as I like my IL's and will need the additional help, I have a feeling there are going to be clashes at some point with her. This could get interesting.

sbevmc09 · July 2012

Thankfully we don't have any OOT family so we never had to deal with this situation. IME I wouldn't want people around 24/7 right at first, but depending on the situation it might be helpful to have them come when your H returns to work (for the extra support) or maybe just a little further down the road. I totally get that the grandparents are going to be anxious to meet your LO, but you're going to be adjusting to being a new mom and a family of three. I didn't mind people stopping by for short visits during the early days, but extended visits would have really annoyed me. Those first few weeks you're in 100% baby mode.

ETA: I also wanted to point out, to those who plan on BF'ing those first few weeks are extremely important to your BF'ing relationship. You'll pretty much be nursing around the clock and have your boobs out all the time. You may not feel comfortable having some people around when you're in that situation. Of course this may not be an issue (I was comfortable nursing in front of my MIL from the beginning), but not everyone is IME those first few weeks are not at all about modesty, in many ways

hmr22 · July 2012

When my DS was born, my mom came and stayed with me for two weeks after DH went back to work (she went home on weekends). This was great, she cooked, cleaned and did the laundry so I could focus on my baby. Everyone else just came for a few hours and left. I'm not sure how it will work this time around as we now have DS and live 5 mintues from my parents instead of an hour, but I'm sure my mom will be at my house everyday helping me, just not staying the night, like before.

My DH and I really haven't dicussed the "after we come home" part, but we have discussed the "while we're at the hospital" and do not agree. With DS, as soon as DS was born and I was cleaned up, everyone (FIL, MIL, Great-Grandmothers, my Dad; my DH, mom & sister were in there when I delivered) came in, I never got the chance to try to nurse DS before he was taken to the nursery. I told DH this time, no one is seeing the baby until it comes back from the nursery and he does not agree, we'll see who wins.

jobiann · July 2012

Both our immediate families (parents and most siblings) live in the same town we do. So I'm sure they will be in and out for several days after we get home. Which I feel I will appreciate the extra support as it is our first baby. But if they are around too much neither of us would hesitate to say we are taking some alone time today...

We are both really comfortable with our families, I know they would be helpful (cleaning, laundry, cooking, taking care of the baby if I and DH wanted to catch a cat nap...).

Extended family (aunts/uncles, cousins, etc.) probably won't meet the baby until his/her baptism. We'll do a small party with cake and punch. Otherwise they will meet him/her at Easter!

brianabrad · July 2012

nycitygirl1:
Yes, DH and I have discussed this and are on the same page. We really want the first few weeks alone to bond with our baby and get our routines down. The last thing we need is family visiting or staying with us...this would just add to the chaos and stress us out. Plus, I really don't want to have to worry about how I look, cooking/entertaining guests, and so forth when I'm up every 3 hours w/a screaming baby.
I appreciate the fact that your ILs may not be able to both come for a week while their 15 year old is in school, but that is their problem not yours. I would just say, "You're welcome to come after such and such a date." If they can work it out great, if not - this isn't your fault. Babies aren't born at times that are convenient for everyone. Your MIL could always come by herself or the whole family could come for a long weekend.

I think this is great advice! Thank you for posting. You are right that with a newborn it will be more about our schedule than theirs. I know it will be hard for them to understand that but still, not my fault. I've also thought maybe MIL could just come although I know FIL is just as excited about the new baby and would want to come as well. I guess we will just wait and see how things progress but I know for sure I don't want to feel like I have to entertain people the first few weeks and even them just being around will make me feel the need to entertain. I understand they could be helpful but I will also just want alone time I think.

Thanks to everyone for all the replies! Sounds like lots of you have thought about this and everyone has some great advice.

Kay1029 · July 2012

We've talked about who we want in the delivery room but haven't really talked about what we want (or dont!) around after the baby is born. This is a first for both of us and the first grandbaby on my families side but it will be the 3rd for his. I know my MIL will get in her car and drive down here (she lives 4 hours away) as soon as I go into labor but I don't think I want her staying with us nor have we even talked about how long she will stay. I don't have a problem with anyone being around since everyone is really helpful on both sides of our family. The way I see it, the more help I can get the better!

amh04 · July 2012

DH and I had discussed this when we just started TTC and came to the same page that we didn't want anyone down for the first 2 weeks - month. My mom respected that wish, however, my MIL was HIGHLY upset regarding it. I at the very, very least want at least a week. Everyone lives 10 or 11 hours away, so I'm kind of hoping that travel, and work schedules aid in helping me with what I want. I don't think any one will be able to stay longer than a 3 day weekend or so. I love my IL's and my family dearly, but I want that first couple of weeks to bond and recover and get used to having babies. I want to be able to not have to worry about my appearance, or if I am snapping on DH or anyone and how they respond to it.

We're just hoping to see how to goes... I can understand why they are upset, but still.. these are our first babies. Let us enjoy that ourselves before having to share first, kwim?

MrsLean · July 2012

My parents live 9hrs away, and my mom is going to stay with us after the baby's born for a couple weeks. DH & I are delighted to have her stay with us because she is an amazing cook and will be so much help with the baby. My mom is not the intrusive type and will help out with whatever I need her for (I love my mom!!!).

In terms of visitors, as long as they're not sick and can come when it's convenient for us I think we're okay with it.

Brummy14 · July 2012

DH and I have kinda argued about this one, because he doesn't really quite frankly tell his mom no -- he just tries to softly nudge her one way or another (she's slighly bat-$hit, so it's not like she might get the memo even if presented directly). That said, I think she's going to come and visit during the first few months whether I like it or not -- but she will NOT be staying with us. At all. They will have to get a hotel if they come to visit. That portion of all of this is non negotiable.

Like PP mentioned, I'm pretty sure I'm only going to be fine with my parents coming over, because I really don't care how trashed my house (or I) look when they're around -- and I know they're selflessly there to help, and that's it. No need to entertain.

runlong3 · July 2012

DH and I need to sit down and talk about this. My parents live 7 hrs away and his live 15, so any visiting would be longer than a day or two. (And we have a guest room so there's definitely room for them to stay and I feel rude making people travel this far then stay in a hotel.)

I would be okay with my mom coming and staying for a week or two to help out because I know she would be good about cooking, cleaning, and helping out and not just cuddling the baby. Unfortunately, she's a teacher, so her staying that long during the school year won't really work out.

I can totally see MIL wanting to come out to help, but she rarely cooks and I still feel like the ILs are guests whenever they come visit. Which means I would feel stressed that we need to be doing something and the house needs to be cleaned and they always go out to eat. I really like his mom, but I don't feel comfortable that she would be an extra set of hands to help rather than just an extra set of hands to hold the baby.

I'm kind of leaning towards seeing how long DH wants/gets to take off of work and then maybe asking for help/visitors whenever he goes back to work so there's not just 3 of us (or however many) sitting around staring at each other. And it would give me about a week or so to get the breastfeeding down and start adjusting to lack of sleep (because Lord knows I am not the most pleasant person to be around when I'm super tired).

dannon2009 · July 2012

DH and I have talked in depth about this since finding out that we are expecting. When my niece was born my mother stayed with my sister for a week. She held the baby and changed diapers when my sister was sleeping or showering but other than that she helped out around the house with light cleaning, laundry, and cooking. She was a big help in that dept. She will be doing the same thing for me when this LO arrives and they only live 2.5 hours away so she will come up right after we go home from the hospital.

MIL is a completely different story. She is very upset with me because We told her the other day that we will not be telling anyone when I go into labor because we don't want ppl waiting at the hospital. We will call people when we are ready. She is furious at me for this claiming that I am depriving her of that opportunity. But quite frankly she is a manipulator and will do anything to get her way and DH normally caves which infuriates me! She would be the one that tried to push herself into the delivery room. We are not close at all and I think she will make me more stressed that I already am.

Unfortunately my ILs only live a few streets over but she will not be welcome to come over daily or even regularly. In fact DH and I discussed that no one will be allowed to just "drop in" despite living so close. I'm sure she will try to get around this and push her way in but as many of you ladies have already said this is our first LO and this time is about DH and our new family as well as learning to be parents and adjust. We want that time to make our mistakes and learn what works for us rather than having her tell us how its done.

JennV514 · July 2012

We were very anti-visitors, and lookong back I wish I had asked for help. We were completely overwhelmed, tired, I was recovering, my baby did not sleep, bfing was so hard....it was not as "romantic" as I had imagined it to be for all those months. My husband gets 2 weeks paternity leave, so this time after he goes back to work, by mil will stay that week, and after that I'll play it by ear. I will be accepting any and all help.

LovelyLou23 · July 2012

i was really unsure before DD was born whether or not i wanted my mom to come, but i am SO SO glad that she did. recovering from baby isn't necessarily the easiest task, not to mention bonding with the baby. my mom came and helped out all around the house, made food around the clock for me and DH, and just basically did whatever i needed so that i could just rest and spend time with the baby. that was absolutely invaluable to me, and i am praying that she will be able to do the same when this one comes

however, if you don't have someone that you know would help without you feeling like you have to entertain, i definitely wouldn't let them come.

3rdat40 · July 2012

I love having my mom around right after having a baby because she will take care of me and be a big help. As for anyone else, NO WAY! I love my Dad, and my IL's, but they are really guests when they come to visit (from out of state, so have to stay here 24/7) and I am not up for entertaining guests right after giving birth.

It might be nice to have a week with just me, DH, and baby, but since we have two older children who go to school and gymnastics and swimming lessons, etc., etc., we need help with the parent juggling act. So, my mom will come ASAP after the birth and will stay for 2 weeks.

Whitney915 · July 2012

My mom has said she was coming for the birth and then staying (for how long...I don't know) to help out. At first I was pretty against this (although I didn't tell her that). I thought it would be best for my husband and I to bond with our babies by ourselves. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized what a blessing it would be to have her there. My husband only gets a week off from work and if I have a c section it would be hard to be alone taking care of the twins and myself. While we won't get the time I thought we would to bond alone, I don't think it will hurt things in the long run to have an extra person there to love on these babies as much as me and my husband will.

StarrSquared · July 2012

With DD, i orrigonally thought the same thing. but when push came to shove and my mom stayed with us for a week i couldnt have been happier to have her there to help me. and my grandparents came over every other night for a week bringing dinner and always made TONS of leftovers so we didnt have to cook for a while.

you'll get 18 years to bond with baby, and those first few weeks, you'll want/need as much help as you can get even if it means you get to take a quick nap or even a shower.

nicoletteb1985 · July 2012

When I had my first I let everyone come see the baby the day he was born. I was so out of it I didn't care. The days after I let my husband tell everyone that I would prefer not having visitors because I felt awful. I feel like most people understood. The weeks after I would let people come over for 1/2 hr to 1 hr visits. I really needed my space for breast feeding/ pumping and sleeping.

this decaf life · July 2012

Our situation is a little different because we'll be leaving the country when LO is very young due to DH's job so I'm positive our families will head up (about 12 hours driving) to visit when LO arrives. We'll be gone for 2 years when we do leave the country so I hope they can be around a lot.

PatsyGK21 · July 2012

I do understand your situation, maybe just talk to them and explain your feelings about it, I'm sure, especially his mom, will understand.

As for us, DH and I have discussed it and it kinda got wrapped in a pretty little bow (crappy circumstances, but figured out none the less) DH is getting deployed 3 weeks after LO arrives, so when that happens, my mom will come to help me till the baby's 6 week check up, then I will move back home to be closer to family, because I won't/don't want to be 10 hours away from family and sit home with a baby all day by myself. So I'll have three weeks to bond and have with the baby then it's 24/7 with my sister and mom!

Hope it works out for you!

jastl32 · July 2012

I think it's a really personal decision and that there's no right or wrong here. We lived far from all family so we knew we'd have visitors. We used the time in the hospital as "our" time. DD was the first grandchild on my side and I wanted my parents to experience her as a newborn. On top of that, we were in the process of relocating so I appreciated having extra hands around to help out while we tried to get the house ready to be listed. I never felt like I had to entertain and they knew their place. I talked about it and set ground rules before they came. I'm glad they were ale to be there. My mom came twice..once for a weekend only and then for about a week later. My dad came when the baby was about a month old so we had time in between and the visitors weren't back to back. Hope that helps a little.

This time, I will probably have my mom again, but not right away. DH works 24 hr shifts so I will welcome the help with 2 little ones.

smwiggle · July 2012

littlemaybaby:
As a STM, and if you think visitors would truly HELP . . . I say take whatever help you can get!!! Seriously, I had these visions of DH and I coming home and having our perfect little family of 3 and not wanting anyone around so we could all bond. LMAO at how my little fantasy ended up in reality . . .
When you are feeding (particularly if you are trying to breastfeed) around the clock, changing diapers around the clock, and trying to catch 20 minutes of sleep in between one feeding and the next . . . There is laundry to get done, meals to be cooked if you want to eat, groceries to be bought, etc.
I couldn't have made it through the first 3 weeks without some combination of my MIL and my mom being around - because they were so darn helpful. Your DH will be exhausted too. So it's nice for someone to be able to sleep, someone to be able to be on baby duty, and someone to do something (anything else) - whether that be cook, run errands, etc.
And now with having a toddler running around on top of it all, I'm already trying to line up who will be willing to come help again, because there are just not enough hours in the day . . .
Now, if they are not the type of people who will help - keep them far far away - because the last thing you want to do is feel like you have house guests that you have to entertain!

Pretty much this exactly. My mom is coming for a month, and hopefully she will get here before LO is born so she can watch DS while I am at the hospital. My mom though will be watching DS, cleaning house, and cooking while I am busy with the baby, so it will be great. I don't have to entertain her at all. I am sure it would be different with the ILs, but they won't pay to get on a plane to come here, so I don't need to worry about them.

As for OP's comment of getting a routine down in the first few weeks, I kind of have to laugh. I thought the same thing, but trust me, you won't have any kind of routine for the first few months. LO will decide if he wants to eat every 30 min one day, and then every 2 hrs the second. Same with naps. I understand time to bond with baby, but don't expect things to fall into a neat little pattern and that you will be June Cleaver with a newborn.

hopeful104 · July 2012

My husband and I live in the same town as my parents in kansas, so I imagine they'll pop in and out as they please. my FIL lives about 4 hours away and is already nagging us about renovating our basement so there is somewhere for him to stay when LO is born. and MIL lives in Florida, so I know she will be flying out ASAP when I go into labor, which is fine. We do not want any over night or all-day-long visitors though. I don't know how we are going to get it thru my FIL's thick head. I like my in-laws, but not just absolutely comfortable since they are so far away and we spend little time together. Plus, I plan to breast feed, and I really think I'll want a lot of privacy when i'm trying to figure out how that is all going to work for us. Hubby and I are totally on the same page, but I just worry how his dad is going to take the news that he can't bunk with us. Not sure why anyone would WANT to stay over with a newborn in the house anyway, seeing how none of us will get much sleep :P

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