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December 2012 Moms
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MIL wants to throw me another shower...

rmaximrmaxim
in December 2012 Moms

This weekend when we were visiting, MIL told DH this weekend that she wanted to throw us a shower, and DH told her to ask me. I said "ok, IF it's a girl (we already have a boy) and it has to be SMALL" then I explained the whole "sprinkle" idea for second children etc.

I know it's nice and most people would feel appreciative and I should too, but I can't help feeling she wants to do this because she and her sister/DH's aunt didn't get to throw the shower for DS1 (they wanted to but I had already told my BF that she could do it, they wouldn't work together with her and drama ensued...). I dislike their style of parties and feel super awkward about inviting people who bought us tons of stuff for the first one. 

Jude Wayne - Born 4/23/10 Violet Patricia - Born 12/5/12 Breastfeeding, baby-wearing work-at-home mom of 2 living in Rockville, MD
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Re: MIL wants to throw me another shower...

  • Loo52Loo52 member

    Hmmm, yeah, I guess I can see your point - feeling bad about inviting all those good friends who already bought you stuff. I'm letting my cousin throw me a shower for this, my 2nd baby, but I'm also now in a new city and these friends and relatives weren't around for DSs shower. 

    What if you let your MIL take care of the guest list too, perhaps relatives and people that she knows that didn't go to your first? 

    I say try to relax, go with the flow, and relish in the gifts. Even your close friends will want a chance to celebrate this baby too, no? 

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  • rmaximrmaxim
    Yeah, that's what I'm hoping! I know she mostly wants to invite relatives, but she will ask me for a guest list of friends too. I'm thinking I'll only give her a couple close friends' names and then tell them individually not to buy us anything!
    Jude Wayne - Born 4/23/10 Violet Patricia - Born 12/5/12 Breastfeeding, baby-wearing work-at-home mom of 2 living in Rockville, MD
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  • magnoliablossom00magnoliablossom00 member
    I would let her do it whether or not your baby is girl or boy. She obviously feels jipped about the first shower, and it seems this is a great way to shut her up. However, I would make sure there are some very clear rules on this shower. For example, I wouldn't allow her to invite any of your friends (sorry, I think it's tacky since they were invited to the first) and only invite your immediate family (no cousins, no aunts, etc. Just your mom, sis,sil, whoever). However, if she wants to invite anyone from HER side, let her. I'd just tell her to keep it bare minimum on your side b/c you don't want to look tacky.
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  • TiaS16TiaS16 member

    I currently have 3 different people wanting to throw me showers (3 different towns and groups of women).  My mother who makes Emily Post look like a slacker, says that however many showers whenever is fine. I still feel guilty...my DH thinks its great because it means there is a slim chance I'll spend less money :-)

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  • magnoliablossom00magnoliablossom00 member

    imageTiaS16:

    I currently have 3 different people wanting to throw me showers (3 different towns and groups of women).  My mother who makes Emily Post look like a slacker, says that however many showers whenever is fine. I still feel guilty...my DH thinks its great because it means there is a slim chance I'll spend less money :-)


    This is her 2nd baby.


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  • Loo52Loo52 member

    So what if it's her 2nd baby?! If people want to celebrate her and her new baby then I say let them! If someone is too cheep or feels like it's "tacky" then they don't have go to the shower. If any one of my friends were to, dare I say even throw THEMSELVES a 2nd shower, I would be delighted to attended and purchase something very special. 

    Don't worry about it. Be happy that you have people around you that care about you and want to celebrate this glorious occasion.

      

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  • magnoliablossom00magnoliablossom00 member
    imageLoo52:

    So what if it's her 2nd baby?! If people want to celebrate her and her new baby then I say let them! If someone is too cheep or feels like it's "tacky" then they don't have go to the shower. If any one of my friends were to, dare I say even throw THEMSELVES a 2nd shower, I would be delighted to attended and purchase something very special. 

    Don't worry about it. Be happy that you have people around you that care about you and want to celebrate this glorious occasion.

      

    I believe you completely ignored my first post. I was just clarifying what she was talking about because your response did not seem to warrant that you read her entire post. Talking about having multiple showers for your first is very different than having a shower for your second, third, or fourth baby. I clearly agreed that it would be a good idea for MIL to host the party for multiple reasons. 

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